Over sensitive or justified?

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Beauty belle19

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Hi all, something’s been bothering me for a while and I just wanted others opinions and how you would feel in the same situation. My best friend from school (25yr friendship) regularly asks my advice on beauty treatments that I do such as gel nails, brows, lash lifts etc. She then has them done elsewhere and messages me with pictures almost like she thinks I’ll be impressed she’s had them done rather than offended she hasn’t come to me. I’m only 10/15min away from her so it’s not a distance thing and I’m busy and competent with treatments so it isn’t that she doesn’t know I’ll do a good job. she’s messaged to say she’s converted to lash lifts after asking me loads of questions about it and has obviously gone elsewhere. I wouldn’t care if it was anyone else but the other way round I would never do that. Am I being over sensitive or would you be upset if your bestie went to someone else with no explanation after asking your professional opinion on it?
 

RosieR

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You have every reason to be offended. I would be ....you're only human. She obvs thinks that you are an expert as you are her chief advisor, but it does seem cheeky.
Do you really need her as a client? Is she better as a friend because it can be difficult to be both for some?

My best friend is my best client actually. I practise new treatments on her, discuss things about my business, life , the kitchen sink. Plus she does too. It works both ways. I have known her for 46 years and we trust one another 100%.

If your friendship is really true then you could say "Would you like to become one of my clients as we are such good friends?" Then go on to say how nothing would give you more pleasure than to have her receiving a treatment from you. If you wanted to give her a friends discount then you could try that way.

I say from experience that I found it difficult going to a client who was a hairdresser. The main reason I thought it wasn't a good idea was because, what if I didn't like what she did? How would I get out of re-booking if it was awful? I need not have worried because she is excellent at her job. Maybe she was offended that I didn't ask her to do my hair before, but it worked well in the end.

Either incentivise her or ask her to be a model for some new treatment launch, and then drop it into the conversation about wanting her to come to you. The rest is up to her.
 

Beauty belle19

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You have every reason to be offended. I would be ....you're only human. She obvs thinks that you are an expert as you are her chief advisor, but it does seem cheeky.
Do you really need her as a client? Is she better as a friend because it can be difficult to be both for some?

My best friend is my best client actually. I practise new treatments on her, discuss things about my business, life , the kitchen sink. Plus she does too. It works both ways. I have known her for 46 years and we trust one another 100%.

If your friendship is really true then you could say "Would you like to become one of my clients as we are such good friends?" Then go on to say how nothing would give you more pleasure than to have her receiving a treatment from you. If you wanted to give her a friends discount then you could try that way.

I say from experience that I found it difficult going to a client who was a hairdresser. The main reason I thought it wasn't a good idea was because, what if I didn't like what she did? How would I get out of re-booking if it was awful? I need not have worried because she is excellent at her job. Maybe she was offended that I didn't ask her to do my hair before, but it worked well in the end.

Either incentivise her or ask her to be a model for some new treatment launch, and then drop it into the conversation about wanting her to come to you. The rest is up to her.
Thanks so much, I’ve wondered if it’s me as I can be sensitive. I don’t need her as a client but I think it’s because she keeps asking my ‘professional opinion’ it’s bugging me as it crosses over from friends to my business and that’s when I feel offended. I did reply that I could have done them for her (re the lashes) and she’s avoided the question. Hoping she will atleast get the hint I’m offended and not show me when she’s had treatments done in future.
I actually think she’s better as a friend than a client as she can be unreliable so I’m reluctant to try too hard to entice her. Would also rather reward my other friends who genuinely support me if I ever needed a model. I think it’s pure thoughtlessness but as someone who’s the opposite I struggle to understand it.
Thanks again for your reply, it’s really helped 😊
 

azura

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You can also, try to explain to her in a way that you're Technically "consulting" with her, and that she should come to your "office" for the questions? Who wants to "work" when they're off work? Or maybe word this differently "I don't feel qualified to answer your questions, as I have never done your services " just ideas
 

Tumpshy1

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Sometimes when you have been friends for a long time people can get complacent and they treat you badly because you are friends. I would say something to her or wouldn’t give anymore advice. She’s using you
 

gc2233

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Friends and family in business is hard to navigate.
If they become your client it’s complicated.
I have people who I thought were my friends who were also my clients, until I left the salon ( it was a big high street brand that people went to because it was cool to ) they dropped me like a hot potato.
My mother still went too believe it or not (needless to say we don’t speak now)
They came back when I opened my own franchise - just shows how fickle people are. But they were no longer on my Xmas card list 🤣
People are selfish/ignorant without even hitting their radar they will upset you.
My advice is don’t have family and friends as clients. Also refuse to talk about work to friends. I put a stop to that too as it got quite boring for me talking shop while out with friends.
 

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