Personal life advice difficulties

[b*dazzled nails]

Wow how amazing all you geeks are giving this lady some wonderful advice it's heartwarming to know there are such wonderful people out there willing to help someone they don't even know,I hope you sort things out hope and find your path in life good luck,claire x

 

[w1nnie]

A counsellor would want to speak to both of you together, they don't see you separately. It's a shared problem. Would he go ? And if you wrote a letter to him, would he read it ?

To me the answer is obviously leave him as you have no ties with him and it sounds like you want to be with your ex. But make Damn sure your ex really does want to be with you.

We can't make the decision for you, only you know the reality, but which ever you do, make sure you're not jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Also I know how it feels to badly want a baby, I went through it too, but I was successful. There is another life to be had without them tho. And lots are glad they never had them.

Do hope you do the right thing, and best of luck :hug:

 

[Hope241]

Thank you very much for all your kind words.

I did wonder if it was a sign of some sort showing me there is the possibility of bring happy with someone else. I feel secure in one way being in my relationship n as its been so long im scared how id feel without him. Its been most of my adult life. I dont fancy starting over getting to know someone n what not. Which guess when my ex is added seems like a simple way out of some of the hard stuff. Although i know it wouldnt be the 'right' thing for me to do.

N to make things worse ive just had 2 friends announce they r pregnant for the 1st time. Such bitter/sweet news but maybe its a push. Always imagined id b a mum.

Il keep you all posted.
Thanks again for listening n being kind.

Hope x

 

[Mobile Manicure]

You're still young. I met my husband 3 months after breaking up with my ex. It wasn't intentional, it just happened. I was 29. I had my first baby at 33 and my second at 39! One of my friends is 36 and is getting married this year and hoping to start a family soon after. You've got plenty of time.

 

[ch-ela]

Can I just add that I was nearly 30 when I had my first child and 32 with my second. My best friend had her first with 40 and she was adamant it would be her only child. She had her second at 43.
Don't want you to feel that you need to rush into anything.

 

[marie hilton]

I'm 30 and been ttc for over a year, still early days but i want a few kids so know il be having them through my 30s, u have plenty of time

 

[Hope241]

Little Update
Wrote partner a text asking him to stop being closed off and to talk. I hate having to be the one to bring up the hard stuff all the time. Next time we met he didnt bring it up. I did. His attitude was cross that bridge when we come to it. Arrrggghhh we came to it along time ago. I Said if we have ivf 1 more time and it doesnt work then? I broke my heart at weekend ad he play doting uncle with nephew under my nose. He not close to his nieces n nephew. Maybe because this little 1 a boy not sure. I had bad mood swing and broke down when we left.

He say you will have a baby. Did you see not WE would have a baby? He doesnt react well when I cry. Still no for sure answer. I ask again what happens if we dont get our own baby. Cross that bridge when we come to it. Me hysterical thats not good enough answer. Ok we will do something. Me something what? Him something. End of talk.

Yesterday random i love you text out of blue Not normal. Hope mayb he been thinking.

see what weekend brings.

Hope x

 

[Crystal colleen]

I'm going to add something here,I think sometimes a mans feelings are overlooked quite a lot.They have feelings etc to just like women and a lot of the time it's all about the women and the man gets forgotton.Maybe he is feeling just like you but can't express it like you can.

I also think you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself and the situation.You want a baby I get that but it seems to me that the baby situation is ruling your life and your life with your partner and that is only going to go one way I'm afraid.

I think you need to go back to basics with ur relationship first because bringing a baby into the mix will not make matters any better only worse and you have technically cheated on your partner.Sort the love life first then think about babies.

My personal opinion is to chill out take a breath work on your relationship first decide what u want then think about babies because from what I can see it's just baby baby baby and it's consuming you which is no way healthy for you or your partner.If you have a baby with him now nothing else will get resolved.

Xx

 

[Elaine Armani]

I'm not going to tell you what decision to take, but all I'm going to say is do what makes you happy.
You are the only person in this world that controls your happiness and sanity.
I think you already know what you want in life so go and get it, just be careful think about how you're going to feel in 30 seconds, 30 minutes, 30 hours and in 30 years.
Think about it.
Goodluck Hope x


Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open

 

[Hope241]

I'm going to add something here,I think sometimes a mans feelings are overlooked quite a lot.They have feelings etc to just like women and a lot of the time it's all about the women and the man gets forgotton.Maybe he is feeling just like you but can't express it like you can.

I also think you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself and the situation.You want a baby I get that but it seems to me that the baby situation is ruling your life and your life with your partner and that is only going to go one way I'm afraid.

I think you need to go back to basics with ur relationship first because bringing a baby into the mix will not make matters any better only worse and you have technically cheated on your partner.Sort the love life first then think about babies.

My personal opinion is to chill out take a breath work on your relationship first decide what u want then think about babies because from what I can see it's just baby baby baby and it's consuming you which is no way healthy for you or your partner.If you have a baby with him now nothing else will get resolved.

Xx

I agree. N I welcome everyones views to help me see things from a new perspective so thank you. We have spent the last 6 months focusing on our r/ship me trying to make him happy n its kind of time to talk about it again. Cant ignore it for ever plus my ex then poped up n brought it all to the surface. Not sure if im compromising my own happiness for his.

Hope x

 

[Hope241]

I'm not going to tell you what decision to take, but all I'm going to say is do what makes you happy.
You are the only person in this world that controls your happiness and sanity.
I think you already know what you want in life so go and get it, just be careful think about how you're going to feel in 30 seconds, 30 minutes, 30 hours and in 30 years.
Think about it.
Goodluck Hope x


Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open

Thank you. Yes i do wonder if id ever get over not having children or get over loosing a partner which i see other people do. Xx

 

[Hope241]

Update
I been avoiding partner as much as can get away with seeing how id b on my own. Come here tonight n i like his company n fancy him altho not seen him 6 days he seened more intrested in s*x than talking catching up. N went to bed 2 hrs after me arriving n he working sun. Will b stayin here sun nite see what that brings. Not sure im happy any more. Yet scared 2 let go. Feeling this week will b make or break.

Hope xx