Physically attacked

[Rhiannon1408]

Need a bit of a vent. I was out for my best friends birthday in Bournemouth last night with her boyfriend and a couple of his friends. He has a history of hitting her which is no secret.

She was arguing with him outside one of the clubs so I went to try and calm the situation down only to be attacked by his friend. He was pushing me and grabbing my arms, he eventually pushed me to the ground and I now have a big cut along my shoulder and I'm in a lot of pain.

I called my friends mum as she said any problems call me, and she came to pick me up as there was no way I was getting in the booked taxi with someone who had just assaulted me.

Now I'm getting abuse from my friend for calling her mum. I literally didn't know what else to do, I was in a city that I didn't know by myself. I couldn't afford a taxi all the way back home on my own (I live in Southampton). Her mum knows the full extent of what her boyfriend does to her.

I am really upset, I don't know what to do. My friend is really angry at me for calling her mum, and my parents have gone mad after seeing my shoulder, they think I should go to the police.

Please can someone make me feel better

 

[Hazemalone]

That's awful, and to be honest I wouldn't be too happy with my friend if she didn't support me. I definitely think you should go to the police that carry on is unacceptable. Hope your ok x

 

[Annemarie]

Aww I hope your ok.
A friend? That's not a friend who doesn't stand by you and is angry cause you called her mum. I'd be so angry at her response I wouldn't want to speak to her again.
So she allows her boyfriend to treat her like crap and her parents know about it? Wth. I wouldn't allow it to happen to my daughter I can tell you that for sure. As already mentioned I'd take it further and if your friend doesn't back you up then she's not worth wasting your time on.:|

 

[Baggybear]

Your friend needs to understand that she may be happy to accept that kind of treatment and be a doormat but you won't and if it was me I would call the police and report the matter.

People need to understand that this behaviour is not acceptable and as for your friend having a go at you for contacting her mum to collect you - I'd be telling her that she can put herself in danger all she likes but you wanted to get out of there and be safe so you did what you had to do, if she don't like it - fine, but don't ask you to be in that kind of situation again or you will do the same thing again.

I was in a situation years ago where I was visiting a mate, she argued with her boyf & her and her child ended up in hospital after he had cut them both with glass from a broken mirror & me locked in her house with him.

She was in hospital for hours before telling them I was still in the house with him & for the police to come & get me out. When the police came her boyf put a huge kitchen knife down the back of his jeans and opened the door to them. I had to indicate to them that he had the knife while trying to stay quiet & out of the way so they could arrest him.

The whole situation messed with my head in a huge way, I walked away with no actual injuries thankfully but the mental scars are still there and I still hate going to the area where it happenend even though I know they no longer live there.

I had to give a statement and go stay with my nan for a few nights (as I couldn't face being alone). The police wanted to take him to court for his actions but my mate begged & begged me not to testify and I told her that I would do as she wanted but it was my last act of friendship, if she was going to be with him I could no longer be around her.

I do now see her (over 15 years on) and I can talk to her but that is it, I can't forgive him for what he did, I can't accept that he has changed and that he wouldn't do anything like this again so I stay away. My life & sanity is worth more than her freindship (and we were VERY close friends before this, our kids were small & played together & the boyf was actually related to my husband too).

What I am saying is you have to look after you first and that may mean stepping back from this friend for a bit.

:Love: It is horrible being in a situation where you don't know what to do for the best :Love:

 

[VeroniqueMUA]

omg that is awful! sounds like you did the right thing & you're friend is being VERY unfair ... i would consider going to the police aswel, sounds traumatic x

 

[KayaPapaya]

Go to the police and report the rotten so-and-so.

Real men DO NOT behave like this, give him the shock of his life by having his collar felt.

Hope you feel better soon.

Ps, I would ignore your "friend" for a while. Perhaps if she sees you won't put up with violent, silly, boys she'll find the strength to get away from him, before he does something he can't put right.

 

[Nevergivingup]

Go to the police.

Stay away from your friend, I know that sounds harsh but you need to protect yourself x

 

[Miss Sylk]

She's not a friend.
My friends friend beat the crap out if me in front of my friend, my friend ran in the house and closed the door. Also as she was my only witness that wasn't on the nasty friends side I needed her in court and she said no.
That was the day I realised she ain't no mate! Never spoke again.

My shoulder has never been the same after she busted it, when I feel the pain I think that girl got away with it and that hurts me more. Never let anyone get away with it.

I'm sorry this happened to you but testing times prove who is there for you xxx

 

[lucyboo]

I'm so sorry for what has happened to you & I think you should report it to the police.
Regards your friends behaviour towards you, she may be absolutely terrified of the backlash she may receive from her boyfriend & in showing support to you may put her in further danger.
Tell your friend you are not taking abuse from anyone & give her contact details for woman's aid ect. If you can, be there for her when she does find the strength to get away from the abusive relationship x

Sent from my GT-N7000 using SalonGeek

 

[Rhiannon1408]

Thank you all for your kind replies.

I am still very much in pain with my shoulder and I think I may need to go to a&e to get it looked at. I've also noticed that I have marks and bruises on my arms where he has grabbed me and I have grazes all over my back. My bum also hurts where I fell on it, definitely going to be a bruise there.

My friend is now saying that this guy wouldn't have hit me and that I must have fallen over as he was on the phone to her Dad at 2am crying.

So maybe you are right, and I need to distance myself from her now as clearly my loyal friendship means nothing. I have always dropped everything to go and help her when she's needed me. I won't be doing that again.

I'm still undecided if I should go to the police, I am not completely innocent as when he was grabbing my arms and pushing me I slapped him which then lead to him pushing me harder. I'm very slight, I'm only a size 6 and he's a big muscular gym goer so I had no chance of defending myself.

 

[nicole333]

What an awful situation to get mixed up in. Sadly, this kind of reaction from your friend is common in those suffering domestic violence. I think it's down to you to make the choice of whether you want to be around this as you are the one that can walk away from it right now with no fear of repercussions.

Your friend has probably done this before and will probably do it again, as she will more than likely do anything to stay in denial of the situation and for living in fear of what her punishment may be.

I hope you make the right decision for yourself and I hope your friend can find the strength to see that she has a choice. :sad:

 

[Miss Sylk]

Go to the police for a chat preferably with a female, In my experience the males try to deter you from reporting.

I got photos taken and hospital notes. This is proof you need to have if you decide to go ahead and take legal action.
Go to doctors and have it seen also this helps as you have more notes and proof.
Find a witness, you will need one, I didn't have one and my solicitor said too me without one and so many on her side it's pointless me bothering with court. Try your best then at least you can settle knowing you did.

As someone said your friend will be scared he will beat her up and he's no doubt told her to say that you fell. She's a weak girl I don't think she thinks you deserve it but she won't stand up for you do move on and firget her. Xx

 

[Rhiannon1408]

Go to the police for a chat preferably with a female, In my experience the males try to deter you from reporting.

I got photos taken and hospital notes. This is proof you need to have if you decide to go ahead and take legal action.
Go to doctors and have it seen also this helps as you have more notes and proof.
Find a witness, you will need one, I didn't have one and my solicitor said too me without one and so many on her side it's pointless me bothering with court. Try your best then at least you can settle knowing you did.

As someone said your friend will be scared he will beat her up and he's no doubt told her to say that you fell. She's a weak girl I don't think she thinks you deserve it but she won't stand up for you do move on and firget her. Xx

I've taken pictures, and I think a trip to a&e is definitely on the cards if only for peace of mind that I haven't fractured my scapula or something.

The only witness was the sister of the guy who attacked me. So she will most likely stick up for him and say he didn't do it or something, as she was there and didn't try and stop him or help me up. I may still go and have a chat with the police though.

Thank you for your advice

 

[Rhiannon1408]

This is my shoulder and back, doesn't seem to look as bad in pictures though

 

[KayaPapaya]

go to the police, please, someone's assaulted you.

Even if nothing happens, you might give him a scare that he shouldn't go bullying and shoving women. I'm not surprised you slapped him, if some big grizzler was up in my face being aggressive he'd have a swift kick in his family jewels.

Please don't try and justify his behaviour, he's hurt you, and you don't deserve that.

 

[Kim Lawless]

Don't call the police as you'll cause trouble for yourself. Dump your mate as she's no friend to you.

 

[Penny Vintage]

My god what a horrible situation for you. Honestly I dont think your "friend" is any kind of friend to you if she doesnt even worry how you are after this. Its no good telling you what to do but you deserve Alot better than her! I wouldnt give a second thought to deleted her from my life. Please Definitely go to a&e just to make sure nothings wrong. And when it comes to the police, I would go because at very least it might scare him into changing his ways abit and save some other poor girl from his anger. That whole bunch sound like a world of trouble, which im sure you dont need. I hope you feel better and your shoulder feels better soon.! And well done for smacking him one!

 

[Rhiannon1408]

The worst thing is I've text her the events of the whole situation, and told her of all my injuries but she's basically just said she doesn't believe me. I'm so upset, don't think my eyes can take anymore crying.

I just want today to be over, and a cuddle from the lovely man I'm dating

 

[EMMA AT ELITE]

Oh my god, you poor thing.
Everyone is right you NEED to go tho the police! God knows what he could do next time.
You are completely innocent, when you slapped him, it was in self-defence.
This so-called friend is not a true friend, you are best cutting all ties with her. Unfortunately we find out who our true friends are is situations like this.
He was on the phone crying as he realised what he had done! Guilty!!!
Write everything done, bit by bit, times etc, everything you can remember, especially bit about him crying on the phone, keep all texts sent between you & your "friend" and get yourself down to the police ASAP, especially as it is still fresh & raw, you mental state/emotions/shock will be more visible to the officers now which will help xx

 

[jacquelineanna]

Don't call the police as you'll cause trouble for yourself. Dump your mate as she's no friend to you.

I think I agree with Kim.

You were part of a domestic argument and I am not sure they would go ahead with a prosecution.

If you do go to the police to press charges just be sure you are emotionally prepared for it.

Or go to the police and advise them you wish to record the incident so it is on file should anyone else be attacked in this manner by him.

And then have nothing further to do with the friend concerned.

I do have a question though. If she was present, why does she not believe you ... she must have seen it happen?