Problem with a client

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harmonyholistic

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 26, 2011
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Location
n wales
Hi I really need some advice here. I have a new male client who has been coming to me for the three or four weeks. He is a very sweet natured. But I have a feeling that he has got learning difficulties. I have two children that are both high functioning autistic. This young man appears to have similar problems. To my sons. Not that I'm saying he is autistic. I can just see that he has some of the same traits.
He has started having aromatherapy treatments. Which have been helping him a lot with his anxiety and depression. I have told him that he can only have one treatment per week. I have also done his eyebrows for him. He has been trying to book in two or three times a week.
Now that I have been firm with him. He is now asking me for other treatments. Such as having his toe nails cut or his toe nails painted. Or asking me to wax his legs.
I have told him I can't wax his legs as he got sensitive skin. He is also sending me messages on Facebook.
This situation is making me feel uncomfortable. This young man obviously has problems and I have encouraged him to go to gp and ask his gp to refer him for counciling. As he has had some traumatic experiences in his past.
It is not that he is being a perve. Or anything like that. It just obvious that he is starting to become dependant
He obviously needs the aromatherapy treatments. He has obviously experienced a lot of rejection in his past too.
I really do not know how to handle this situation. I want to be able to help him. But this is way out of my league. But at the same time I don't want to be yet another person who has rejected him.
I think he just likes the attention.
 
Please don't think I'm being biased here. It's just that he is trying any excuse he can think of to get an appointment with me.
I'm twenty years older than him. I just don't know what to do about this situation. It's a difficult one.
 
I would explain that he can have a maximum of one aromatherapy treatment per week and that if he would like other treatments he needs to book them in advance at the time of booking his aromatherapy so you can allow more time for when he comes in,

Also I would explain that you are very busy with other clients so your not always able to answer messages ect and to contact you only to book or rearrange his appointments,

i would try and not give him attention outside of his appointments as he needs to understand that your a professional this doesn't mean rejection it just means your distancing yourself outside of his appointment times

Good luck
 
I totally understand what you mean, it's lucky your aware of the traits tbh, Is the address you have on record shared accommodation do you know? I really don't want to sound bad here so please no one have a go but I'm not very tactful and don't know very good terms to say things nicely in these situations but it sounds a little obsessive my mil works with autistic adults and one of the biggest problems is obsessive behaviour & dependency, could you find out if he has a support worker? I'll ask my mil tommorow when I see her what she would recomend as she deals with this sort of thing daily x
 
Thank you that's a good idea. It really is something I've not come across before. I do want to be able to help him. As he does need the help and the aromatherapy is helping.
I'm just worried that he may be becoming dependant on the attention. I think I'll also keep encouraging him to get counciling along side the aromatherapy.
I feel so sorry for him. But I have to be firm with him. As he does need help.
He is no threat to me at all. But it's just an awkward situation.
 
Yes I know that they can have obsessive traits. I live with two autistic sons. Thankfully my older son is far more obsessed with yu gi oh than girls. He is seventeen.
He lives with his mum and dad. It is the obsessive side of him that's ringing alarm bells for me. If you live with autism. You can recognise it.
 
Oh this is a hard one ........ I really feel for you but from having a son with ASD my self I would be as Blunt and direct as possible. Try and get him to book a few appointments in advice and then you can say your fully booked if he tries to book for other treatments.
You are doing a lovely thing by treating him and I bet you are making a huge difference to his life right now most would have stopped by now I'm sure 😘

Hope you can sort it.
Xx
 
It is a hard one. That's for sure. I will continue his treatments. But yes being blunt is probably a good way to handle it. It is so hard to blunt when you fully understand the problems the person has. But I know it is necessary. I do have things on my Facebook about autism awareness. It is not the first autistic client I've had in. But before they have been female and just wanting shellac. That is probably why I seam to attract asd clients. Which is fine with me. I just need to watch my step with this particular client.
 
This thread is so similar to one another couple of weeks ago where I suggested the client may have ' other issues' than just being a nuisance. I have a client exactly like this who is also autistic, my 2 nephews also are so I'm fully aware of what they're like and in the most tactful nicest way possible you're best being blunt/straight forward. As you'll know they generally don't understand beating about the bush but it's also hard not to cause upset.

Such a hard situation for you but at least you have the knowledge about autism to at least have a bit of tact. Good luck :)

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Can you perhaps ring his mam and explain the situation. I used to have a girl with downs , obsessed with our salon, and we always gave her a free nail paint if we were quiet , but it soon got out of hand. I really did not know how to handle the situation, but after speaking to her mam , we got it back on track. No one was offended, I was guided in the right direction, and we still see her from time to time. Plus I was assured no one thought I was taking advantage of the situation financially . It is so awkward as there are so many lines you could cross unwittingly , but with the parents guidance , you should not go far wrong x
 
Yes I know been there with my sons beating about the hush never does work. So far I haven't beaten about the bush. You also have to be very carefull about how you phrase things with autistic people. As they always take things literally.
It reminds me of my little one. Who is seven Had a couple of situations that come to mind. He had a talk about healthy eating in school. He has been a nightmare ever since. He refuses to eat meat or anything that is an animal produce. or anything that is unhealthy in his eyes. Which has resulted in him loosing loads of weight and becoming anaemic. So phrasing something wrong can be quite damaging.
Another situation we had with him was when his nanas bf told him that he can't give him a cuddle or a kiss because the only boy that Arran should cuddle or kiss is his daddy. He told him that with other boys he should only shake hands.
For weeks we couldn't understand why he would give either of his grandads a hug before he whent home. Or his big brother. As you can imagine this was quite upsetting for his grandads. The poor little mite desperately wanted to hug his big brother or his grandads but he had taken it to literally mean all men.
We had to sit him down and explain it away when we realised what was going through his little mind. I think it was a big relief to know that it was ok to hug his grandads and big brother. As the next time he saw my dad he wouldn't stop hugging him.
So I have to be carefull how I phrase things with this person. Bless him it must have taken him so much courage to come for aromatherapy treatments. In the first place. Especially as autistic people can have sensory problems. When it comes to allowing someone to touch them or come into there space.
I just hope I can sort this out so that he can get the full benefit of the treatments.
 
I wouldn't know who his mum is to be honest. Although I have checked that his parents know he is having the treatments. In fact his dad did drop him off in town for his last appointment.
It's awkward because I also realise he could benefit a lot from the treatments. It was a desire to help people that got me into the industry in the first place. Ah well I guess I'm just going to have to play it by ear. See how things turn out. Thank you all for your advice. Even though I have a good understanding of asd. It is just not something I expected to creep into my work life. Lol.
 

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