Problem with friends!

[Lyndsey77]

Hi everyone
So I’m looking for some advise

Iv been best friends with someone for 12 year...
6months ago another girl came along that me and my BF got really closes too and all three of us use to go out together and do stuff all together..

the last few months they have been leaving me out not inviting me places but when they did invite me they just make jokes about what they have been up to and what they have done together.. then ask me why I wasn’t getting involved in ther convos
Iv had it out with them both and they said I was been silly so this week I really made an effort and asked them both on Tuesday to go for breakfast on Thursday morning.. they both said they was busy..
but then one of them put what time are we going from breakfast Wednesday ?knowing I work Wednesday ??? On Wednesday they was sending me pictures all day of them both together having breakfast and dinner together..
then Thursday came and same again pictures of ther breakfast together and dinner together and same again Friday..
Also
My BF wedding is in March and I was always doing the hair for free as a wedding present but everything I did on the trail day and said as a profession hairdresser wasn’t good enough.. she was telling me what stuff I could and couldn’t use.. we had a right argument. And now she’s got someone else to do the wedding hair..

I feel like I’m been so paranoid it’s unreal.. Iv been around to one of there houses tonight and we all had our partners with us and all they have done is what shall we do next week we should defo do this... not including me.. then they was both sat on the sofa texting each other laughing.. I couldn’t take it anymore and walked out with my partner..

The question. I wanna ask is.. I’m booked on one of there hen dos in 18 days it’s cost so much.. I’m also both of them bridesmaids my best friend in March and the other one in August what would u all do ??
Thank you in advance for your advance

 

[shelly22v2]

Hi! Didn’t want to read and run.
Slightly different situation but I’ve had similar things since I had my little one. I’ve been left out and lied too. It’s a horrible feeling. I was supposed to be going on a hen do for one of them and even though I’d paid in full I decided not to go (I also didn’t like the idea of leaving my little one for 4 nights whilst abroad). I’m glad I made that decision and have no regrets whatsoever.
I also tried to organise a night out while lads were on stag, was told they were busy.... only to see boozy pictures on social media that night!
I still see them on social occasions (our husbands are all bff’s!!) but I’ve given up making the effort - decided real friends don’t treat you like that!!

It’s such a hard and complicated situation to be in but follow your own instincts and do what suits you xxx

 

[Lyndsey77]

Hi! Didn’t want to read and run.
Slightly different situation but I’ve had similar things since I had my little one. I’ve been left out and lied too. It’s a horrible feeling. I was supposed to be going on a hen do for one of them and even though I’d paid in full I decided not to go (I also didn’t like the idea of leaving my little one for 4 nights whilst abroad). I’m glad I made that decision and have no regrets whatsoever.
I also tried to organise a night out while lads were on stag, was told they were busy.... only to see boozy pictures on social media that night!
I still see them on social occasions (our husbands are all bff’s!!) but I’ve given up making the effort - decided real friends don’t treat you like that!!

It’s such a hard and complicated situation to be in but follow your own instincts and do what suits you xxx

It’s really is so hard.. I think because Iv had it for the last few months Iv tired and tired but then to be told it’s all in my head. I started to believe it was all in my head but then my family and other friends tell me no it’s not Lyndsey it’s childish. I’m 25 and feel like I’m back at school x

 

[AcidPerm]

They sound like 5 year olds playing silly games. They either don’t realise that they’re hurting your feelings or they simply don’t care.
It’s not ok to treat grown adults so abysmally so if it was me, I’d drop them like a stone and have nothing more to do with them.

 

[sassystylist25]

Hi everyone
So I’m looking for some advise

Iv been best friends with someone for 12 year...
6months ago another girl came along that me and my BF got really closes too and all three of us use to go out together and do stuff all together..

the last few months they have been leaving me out not inviting me places but when they did invite me they just make jokes about what they have been up to and what they have done together.. then ask me why I wasn’t getting involved in ther convos
Iv had it out with them both and they said I was been silly so this week I really made an effort and asked them both on Tuesday to go for breakfast on Thursday morning.. they both said they was busy..
but then one of them put what time are we going from breakfast Wednesday ?knowing I work Wednesday ??? On Wednesday they was sending me pictures all day of them both together having breakfast and dinner together..
then Thursday came and same again pictures of ther breakfast together and dinner together and same again Friday..
Also
My BF wedding is in March and I was always doing the hair for free as a wedding present but everything I did on the trail day and said as a profession hairdresser wasn’t good enough.. she was telling me what stuff I could and couldn’t use.. we had a right argument. And now she’s got someone else to do the wedding hair..

I feel like I’m been so paranoid it’s unreal.. Iv been around to one of there houses tonight and we all had our partners with us and all they have done is what shall we do next week we should defo do this... not including me.. then they was both sat on the sofa texting each other laughing.. I couldn’t take it anymore and walked out with my partner..

The question. I wanna ask is.. I’m booked on one of there hen dos in 18 days it’s cost so much.. I’m also both of them bridesmaids my best friend in March and the other one in August what would u all do ??
Thank you in advance for your advance

if they treat you like a joke, leave them like its funny!!!
take yourself off the hen do - you cant put a price on your happiness, pass it off as bad experience and just lose the money.
write a note to each of them that you won't be their bridesmaids - short and sweet, and if they argue with it, IGNORE THEM
all friendships go through rough times just as relationships do, if they respect your friendship, they will want to rectify it and sort it out. if they act defensive and arsey, all the more reason to pie them off!!!
i have been through situations like this so many times.. it's only as i am getting older i am getting harder emotionally and i'm finding less and less people will treat me like shit because i give off the impression that i just won't take it lol
don't indulge in big long conversations with them, keep it short, if they've no interest in you then have none in them too.
they will get the hint
like i said if they respect you they will want to rectify it and sort it out, if they don't.. well.. toodles!!!

 

[EllenHyuga]

Didn’t want to read and run but lots of hugs xxx
I agree with Sassystylist - write them a letter each saying why you don’t want to be a bridesmaid anymore. If they can’t apologise then be done with them. I can’t be doing with people like that! I’m still waiting for someone to apologise for ruining my wedding. It’s been 3 years! Xxx

 

[jamiereid92]

Let them know how you feel, if they apologize and sort themselves out you can make things work. It would be a shame to throw away all that friendship but if they're treating you like this you can't out up with that x