Question on working on disabled clients?

[tinkywinky]

I have a lady who is bed bound severely disabled, don't want to go into too much detail on here but I have to wax the ladies' eyebrows and other areas of her face and body.

The problem is with her eyebrows which are quite thick. I need some advice as this is the scenario everytime I go:

• The lady (client) hates it when I do it and cries and sometimes hits me and shouts
• She will not stay still for longer than a second or two which I find difficutly in applying the wax etc
• She cries with pain before, during and after which I find upsetting (I am a wimp and don't want to hurt her) and I take off as much as I can manage safely

Now her mum wants them thinning out each week I go. The problem is she doesn't realise how distressing this is for the client, the carer and me. Although I have a lot of patience and calmness I am frightened of an accident happening if I were hit whilst applying the wax or if she were to suddenly jerk.

She's wanting me to remove around 1cm of thickness which is 5cm in length in one go.

The other problem is the mum doesn't ever seem to be happy with what I have done, despite them looking nice to me and the carers and not causing too much pain to the client.

What's your opinion with this?

 

[loubylou]

It all sounds a bit cruel to me,
(i don't mean you, i mean the mum)
i wouldn't wax her to be honest, if she is crying as soon as she sees you then she obviously does not want the waxing to be done and i think the mum is bang out of order,
myself i would be reporting this mum to social services without any hesitation

 

[Kim Lawless]

I would say that you don't feel happy causing her pain and for that reason alone, you won't be doing them again.

If she talks you round. Apply hot wax to both brows and then remove them both straight after each other. If she doesn't let you, then her mother can pull the wax off and see how likes getting clumped.

 

[tinkywinky]

I can't comment about her mum in case this is read about but if this continues I won't be going back. as other beauty therapists haven't. She's an elderly lady and WON'T Take no for an answer. it's a hard one

 

[Ruth Mills]

Is the disabled lady able to consent to having her eyebrows waxed? If not, I'd be inclined not to treat her, whatever her mother says! In fact I think it rather presumptuous of her mother to dictate that she has to have treatments done which are obviously causing her a lot of discomfort - particularly if she gets no say in whether they are done or not!

 

[loubylou]

I can't comment about her mum in case this is read about but if this continues I won't be going back. as other beauty therapists haven't. She's an elderly lady and WON'T Take no for an answer. it's a hard one

Just so you know hun, the client does not have to be a child for you to report this to the social services,
ring me if you need a chat about it :hug:

 

[Ruth Mills]

Just so you know hun, the client does not have to be a child for you to report this to the social services,
ring me if you need a chat about it :hug:

Well said! Just because someone is severely disabled doesn't mean they don't have rights!

 

[Kim Lawless]

I think it's over the top to involve social services. It sounds as though the mother has got a lot on her plate and it just trying to help her daughter. The last thing she needs is to be reported for cruelty which is what you will be doing, whatever way you wrap it up.

Just don't wax her anymore rather than cause trouble. Different if you felt the mother was absusing her in some way but it doesn't sound like that to me.

 

[fena]

I wouldn't wax her eyebrows. I used to work with disabled and severly disabled adults and for various reasons i wont go into, there is no way i would ever wax a clients brows who so obviously did not want them waxed.
Regardless of how disabled a client is, they have freedom of choice.
Not sure if you could explain to mum how upsetting it is for you and client and you wont be waxing her brows anymore, or just say your booked or something.

 

[Ruth Mills]

One thing to be aware of is that it's quite possible for disabled people to have a heightened sense of touch and pain in particular areas of their body; that's certainly the case with Sonia, particularly her feet - so whilst most people might experience minor discomfort when being waxed, it could well be felt as excruciating pain by the disabled person.

Conversely, depending on the nature of the disability, some areas of the body might not have much sensation at all - so it could be possible for overly hot wax to be applied in those areas and not provoke a pain response, potentially causing burns in that area.

That's why it's so important to be able to talk with the disabled person and get them to tell you about anything like that. If the disabled person isn't able to explicitly communicate their wishes to you (either verbally, or via sign language or whatever), or are otherwise unable to give consent, then it would place the therapist in a very tricky situation, and I for one would always err on the side of caution if ever placed in such a situation!

 

[champagne]

I would not wax them.....I would explain to the mother that you dont feel able to wax them due to the trauma caused to the client and that you dont feel able to complete the treatment correctly...

 

[Zondrae]

I agree with Ruth. My son has sensory issues and can feel pain/discomfort when another person may not. He also can have a high pain tolerance when you wouldn't expect it. So you never know exactly what she could be feeling/experiencing.

I personally wouldn't do it again. Have you asked the disabled woman if she wants it done? It is not fair of her mother to insist the waxing be done.

 

[Ruth Mills]

I agree with Ruth. My son has sensory issues and can feel pain/discomfort when another person may not. He also can have a high pain tolerance when you wouldn't expect it. So you never know exactly what she could be feeling/experiencing.

I personally wouldn't do it again. Have you asked the disabled woman if she wants it done? It is not fair of her mother to insist the waxing be done.

Aye, and the thing with Sonia is that she has a very good knowledge of the way her body works for her, and is able to communicate her needs fluently as required. She's said to me that she'd never risk a wax on account of having variable sensation in her skin, for example, as I explained above.

 

[Annie23]

No way under these circumstances would I treat this lady and am not sure if I would report her mother to social services (its a difficult one) - it sounds to me like the mother is trying her best to look after her daughter but is being blinkered when it comes to the fact that the daughter really doesn't want to have the treatment. Her attitude is most probably its over in a few seconds so where's the harm. Obviously though in this case its also causing psychological harm so just don't do the appointments. I know that she is most likely to go elsewhere but let the new therapist deal with it - I am sure that they will feel the same and act accordingly and eventually the mother will get the message.

Ruth is correct in saying that certain areas of body are more sensitive to pain, I have a medical condition that affects my legs. I could be waxed anywhere on my body and not care about the pain, but try wax an inch of my legs and I would probably hit the ceiling!

hth's

anne xx

 

[tinkywinky]

Thanks for your support here guys. The mother is trying to do the best for her daughter. I can see that one side of her body hurts more than the other this is apparent when waxing. It also upsets me to do this to her as I feel like I am being bullied. I may just send a letter saying I can't do this anymore and don't feel comfortable being told to wax someone who can't speak to me. She's wanting them doing EVERY WEEK!

Also, on a time consumption basis, I'm there for at least 2 hours, plus it is half an hour away. This means I have to put my kids in childcare for extra hours, I also work 4 days a week and am my own with them.

I have enough to deal with but don't want to let this lady down. She gets very stressed as do the carers about the whole situation.

 

[tinkywinky]

I am going to ring my insurance this morning. It's not worth me losing my skills if something went wrong!

 

[champagne]

Just to add, I have a Blind client......who has a lot of waxing all in one go.....she is very relaxed and comfortable with me, I talk her through it all and shes just fine.....

But in a case such as yours.....No Way!

If something was to go wrong....who would the bullets be fired at.....I wouldnt even bother contacting the insurance comp, I just would not do it xx

 

[rouge]

Put it this way, if it was a non-disabled client, would you continue with a treatment if she was reacting like that? It sounds to me like the lady is making it very clear that she doesn't want to be waxed. The mother may not be aware of how extreme her daughter's response is if she's not in the room when you're there.
Personally, I wouldn't report her, I would sit the mum down and explain very clearly why you will not be continuing to treat her daughter. Put it in writing if you have to as well, but out of courtesy I think you should at least attempt to speak to her.

 

[Brandywine]

Under no circumstances would I be waxing this persons eyebrows, whether or not her mother wants it done or not. The client obviously doesn't want it done and her mothers opinion does not go over this.
I work with people with severe mental health problems and also learning difficulties and there is legislation about informed consent.
This means that before anything is "done" to a person they need to give their consent and you need to make sure that they understand what is happening. If this lady is trying to fight you off she doesn't want it done and I think you may find yourself in trouble.
You need to stand up to the mother, explain it all to her and not be persuaded to do it again, as you need to protect both yourself and your client.
To be honest if the ladies carer has any training she should of been aware of this herself.

 

[sarahjs]

Hi Tinkywinky, I'm level 3 learning disability support worker now doing beauty, still employed by social services and picking up the odd shift and I would say that I definately wouldn't treat the lady if she isn't happy with it. People with learning disabilities have as much right as anyone to not like something , it's just that sometimes depending on the individual they cannot express it in a way that can be understood. I am sure her Mother wants her to look nice like all mother's want there daughters to look nice but it isn't fair for the lady to be stressed out like this. I am surprised that the carer who is present doesn't speak up about this. Is she a socal services support worker, or employed by an agency ? I know that if it was me in my support worker role I would definately have to report it to my superiors as it sounds awful.

Sarah x