She's making me crazy !!

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vicky

Southern Geek
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I know i'v been going on abit this week but with all that has happend i'm at my wits end. My daughtedr is 11 and i think i'm going kill her..!
This girl only has to look at me the wrong way and it makes my blood boil.:evil:
She talks to me and her dad like crap and is only nice when she wants something. Her and her sister fight ALL the time, i just can handle it any more.
This morning i was that close to slapping her face it scared me, im fightend im really gonna hurt her.

Any advice is much needed.
 
Vicky this is quite normal. Has she just moved up to senior school, they change over night when they do! She is just pushing you to see how much she can get away with, they all do it. It's damned hard work to keep reprimanding them, and sometimes you think that giving in is easier. But you and your hubby need to give a united front.

I used to say to me girls, how come I love you more than anyone else in the world but you treat me the worst. Sadly it's all part of the hormonal thing. PLus other parents let their kids get away with muder these days, your daughter wil see this and think she can too.

I am so glad I have got past that stage, it was like a battle of wits all the time. When you feel calm sit down and talk to her quietly, it'll be like in one ear and out the other, but deep down they will respect you for it and eventually your little "Kevinette" will be a normal person again.

Just try not to get into a slanging match - oh and I slapped mine a few times, shocks the merry hell out of them I'll tell ya!
 
Oh Vicky ... welcome to my world hun :( My daughter is now 15 _almost_ 16 and its amazing she has got to this age without some form of breakage... mainly her neck!!! She has been horrible since the age of 7 and progressively gotten worse. I did slap her around the shoulders a few months ago for her telling me to 'F off' and I saw red as that was a first. However, I then had the school onto me saying 'there must be another way' ... she can count on her fingers the number of times in her LIFE she has had any sort of physical punishment .... but yet I am the ogre. I am not allowed to slap her again ... (the laughable thing is I very VERY rarely did ...) but its like she has a hold over me! She deliberately goads me into getting mad with her. But I seem to have found a punishment to suit... -Ground her- .... she has spent more time in these last few weeks than she can remember ... infact she said to me the other day .... 'Mum, just hit me and get it over with and let me go out' ... I had to laugh.... cheeky mare.

All I can say Vicky... when they go to high school it gets worse and worse and worse... but you will get to cope.... mothers and daughters we are so similar you know... ! Take a deep breath and count to ten .... at least your daughter is probably doing ok at school (my daughters teachers haven't a bad word to say about her amazingly enough) so their behaver is all for our benefit, she is just showing you that she has a mind of her own and she is the only one in the world who matters .. me me me.... but its you that really matters deep in her heart and it will take another 10 years before you see that unfortunately ;)

You are not on your own love..... your daughter will be emulating her friends behavior and cockiness...... give us a pm if you would like to chat anytime .... just remember for all them glares she gives you... and all the back chat... she loves you but it just ain't kewl to show it .... stay calm love... it will all be over soon enough lol!
 
Thanks Sass

Honestly its killing me, at this moment and most moments really i hate her and that feeling hurts like hell. I can't ever remember having this kind of relationship with my mum..! She always says that she wonts to live with her Nan, do i let her go..!
 
Maybe a little space for the pair of you will do you good, but you will need to speak to her nan (your mum?) first to lay down the rules. Perhaps she is thinking she will get away with more by staying with her.

My girls had me in tears at times, especially as a single mum and no support to back me up. The trouble is you just want to be nice to them and then they take the proverbial.

But it's the old thing of our offspring thinking we are totally unreasonable, never been young etc. I think that's why we are so hard on them sometimes, cos we remember what WE were up to at that age!!!! If my girls were in late I'd sit and worry like hell, I'd say to them that they know they are safe, but I don't.

I often theink that mother nature make them a nightmare at this age so that when they leave home it's like a relief rather than a wrench!
 
Oh am another one Vicky with a cocky 15 year old lol
I actually laugh when mine starts, To her I am the worst mum in the world, She tells me constantly that she hates me. But as soon has she wants something buying she is as nice as pie lol
I would say don't let it get to you and don't worry that something is wrong, Its just teenage girls of today. I think the reason we didn't act like this in our day was because I would have been belted bloody hard for even saying half what they do nowadays, But kids of today say oh if you hit me I will ring social services or childline. Right off now beginning to sound like me mother lol
 
I WAS THAT CHILD.... yes i am sorrry to say but i was that daughter that you are all talking about... i hated my parents... if they said be in at ten i would ome home ten in the morning... i ended up staying with my sister for a couple of months.. but trust me the grass was greener at home... i have not turned out too bad... i love my mother and i was the worst when my father died.. i sat for months wishing i had given them an easier life... but my mother says i was the better ones of the three of us.. ha ha ha..give her time it is so hard to ajust to going to the bigger school or even being the eldest year in the smaller school... the odd slap (lock me up now) will make her know you mean bussiness. it will not kill her...... she is trying your patience and she is thinking it will be more fun at nans but make sure your mum is not a softy and makes her do more at hers she will come running home with her tail between her legs.... trust me been there and home again.... Chin up hun:hug:
 
Thanks for the replies, please let there be light at the end of this tunnel...lol

I'v had a good cry and im gonna sit her down and see if we can talk this through. The worst thing is i have a 9 yr old thats gotta get to this age and its only gonna get worse..! How do parents cope !

Thanks again ! and im sure i will be pm'ing for advice very soon ..x
 
vicky said:
Thanks Sass

Honestly its killing me, at this moment and most moments really i hate her and that feeling hurts like hell. I can't ever remember having this kind of relationship with my mum..! She always says that she wonts to live with her Nan, do i let her go..!

hi vicky.....dont feel bad about the way you see your daughter right now......it may seem as if you hate her but what you actually hate is the way she is acting and that is standing in the way of your true feeling of love for her

i've got all this to look forward to with my son....he is only 5mths old right now so a little way to go but i'm sure like every other parent in the world i will get it sooner or later....lol

i hope things calm down soon

kind regards

stanleyann
 
Well Vicky there is light at the end of the tunnel love... just doesnt seem like it when you are the thick of it... once they get their own independence I think they realise that you were not trying to ruin their lives and that you had their best interests at heart, I have a daughter who is almost 21 now and we had a few years of not getting along, but we seem to get along fine now, she has left home mind you but comes home to visit quite often and we enjoy each others company at long last (well I enjoy hers, I am only guesing that she enjoys mine lol!). She had a spell of living with my parents but she was somewhat older than your daughter, I think at 11 you still have the upper hand and you have to show who is still the boss - you, not her lol! By the time they reach 15 - 16 it gets harder and I sometimes wonder myself who is the boss me or my daughter sigh! I guess its about 60 -40 to me 'just'!!
 
Oh mine is 4 going on 14.Honestly.You should see her stamp her foot and cross her arms...its so hard not to laugh.She is so naughty that the only time she ever listens is when i lose the plot(i don't think i had it to start with!!??).


I feel for you Vicky because i do was the teenager from hell!!!Sometimes i think a good slap...sorry if i'm offending anyone,if i am i guess you're probably not parents or you wouldn't be offended,kids know there rights these days which is the problem but a good slap never hurt me(well...it did but not in that way)In fact my dad had a bamboo cane which used to come out if i even looked at him the wrong way!!!
 
I have an 8 year old sister who is just like this as it makes me want to kill her!
Maybe theres only one solution left if youve tried everything, its time to call in...

SUPERNANNY!!!
 
Oh I feel for you! I never was that kid although my parent will differ...!

I only returned recently from visiting the folks where my 17 1/2 yr old sister acted like I wasnt there and spoke to me like crap, I gave out ****e to her for driving like a looney with no belt on and for getting a huge n I mean huge tattoo! it ended in a family row with me bawling........me!
Parents told me to ignore her n that shes a teenager and she'll change but I had such a crap holiday as we were like strangers, always at each other?
Why are we like this I'm 24? I know I felt bad for not seeing her one end of the year to another and when I saw the tat I exploded...........she didnt even tell me, didnt ask, oh its ok cos all americans get tattoos, all her friends have them, if all her friends jumped off a cliff would she? probably they're her family aparently...................is this how you mums feel?
 
when i first read this is was a little shocked...have to say...all this talk of hate and slapping...these are our children. But after reading the replies and not having a daughter of that age...YET !!! (eldest is 9 and still very sweet) what right do i have to judge..none. So although i cannot offer any kind of help...all i will say is that i bet your bottom dollar, if these kids are ever in any trouble...it will be you that they turn toofor help. They think they know it all and you don't understand...but they still need you...they just don't want to admit it. Best of luck mums xxxxx
 
Yep welcome to my world as well had a bad time with 22 year old, also my 17 year old she can still be bad depending on what day it is LOL!!!! Then my 12 year old has started she just gives me nasty looks at the mo but know I have a lot more to come!!!1

Then I have my 5 year old to cope with it might be an expert by then LOL!!!! Then I have Ty the baby boy but I expect I will have differant issues with him.

Good luck hold in there it does not go on for ever.

When I look back I have had far more good times that bad times with my kids it is all worth it in the end.

Caz xxx
 
I think you were right in saying this as it is like everything in life unless you have been there you do not know what it is really like!!!

I have laid in bed crying over the way my eldest girls have treated me, they come from a good home with rules but plenty of love.

But I have been through H--- and back with them.

I have had my life on hold for the past 7 years we bought a house and my husband moved around in the Army I stayed put so that my girls could stay at there school, follow there dreams, keep there friends and you would not belive what I got bgack from them!!!!

It was hard work bringing up 5 kids on my own just having hubby home 2 weekends a month for 7 years.

It was only last week when I had all the tiles off the wall and could not cut the ones that needed cutting that my 17 year olds boyfriend said he would help. After 1 hour she was not happy as she wanted the attention so I told him to leave it which he did and she was happy. It was her poor Mum that was up till 2pm trying to finish off the job on her own did she care NO!!!!

This poor Mummy has just spent £700 last week on her weeks driving course, and she is also looking on me to lend her £2.000 for a car.

I must say I feel everything these other geeks are feeling right now.

Caz xxx



NailStyle said:
when i first read this is was a little shocked...have to say...all this talk of hate and slapping...these are our children. But after reading the replies and not having a daughter of that age...YET !!! (eldest is 9 and still very sweet) what right do i have to judge..none. So although i cannot offer any kind of help...all i will say is that i bet your bottom dollar, if these kids are ever in any trouble...it will be you that they turn toofor help. They think they know it all and you don't understand...but they still need you...they just don't want to admit it. Best of luck mums xxxxx
 
Once again thank you all so much for your support, i really need it right now..!


As much as it may shock people reading what i have written its 100% worse feeling it. When i had this beautiful little girl all i felt was warmth and love, not for one minute did i ever think that i could feel like this.
The hardest thing i'v ever writen was this thread, too admite that at times i hate my own flesh and blood is bloody awful and yes i do feel like a bad mother and i have failed my daughter.

Im just hoping that like many that have written i and her will come out the other side a stronger family, then i have to go through it all again with my youngest...oh joy lol
 
Oh Bless you are not a bad mother never tell yourself this!!!!

Kids are not easy but you will see the end of the tunnal one day.

Caz xxx


vicky said:
Once again thank you all so much for your support, i really need it right now..!


As much as it may shock people reading what i have written its 100% worse feeling it. When i had this beautiful little girl all i felt was warmth and love, not for one minute did i ever think that i could feel like this.
The hardest thing i'v ever writen was this thread, too admite that at times i hate my own flesh and blood is bloody awful and yes i do feel like a bad mother and i have failed my daughter.

Im just hoping that like many that have written i and her will come out the other side a stronger family, then i have to go through it all again with my youngest...oh joy lol
 
hun, believe me when i say i know how you feel, i have so much heartache with my son over the last 5 years and now my 12 year old daughter is a child demon, her favourite name for me is "fat ugly b****" and when i ask her to do something she sais "you do it your the mother"
she reduces me to tears almost every day and when she see's she has upset me she sits in front of me and smiles like a cheshire cat, she beats the daylights out of my younger daughter and cant see why it is wrong, one time i slaped her backside as she threw a bar stool at me, and she just stood there and said, your not alowed to slap me so im gona report you:eek: , she stands up the garden when i wont give her pocket money and shouts, my mums a f****** c***,
she has seen the pain i have sufferd with my son but still she does it and nothing i try stops her,
anyway my point is hun you are not alone, and things can only get better, if you can when she starts, try going for a walk or to a friends for coffee, maybe lock yourself in a room barackade the door and call someone for a chat, i will pm you my number so if you want you can scream down the phone, i prommise i wont mind, keep trying to smile hun:hug:
 
Well I take it all back .... I have an angel child up to your daughter Tracy .... my goodness how on earth do you cope with that sort of behaviour? I flipped when mine told me to 'F off' the one and only time she did it. My daughter is really just lippy and grumpy but after reading your posts I am feeling very very glad that my daughter is prolly just hormonal. You must be at your wits end Tracy, yet you still have time to consider others by doing your walk, what a wonderful person you must be. Gosh I am feeling very humbled now :(

I have seen kids with behaviour problems similar to what you describe your children doing on that tv show 'The Nanny' or something like and there is ways of getting them to conform to 'normal' exceptable behaviour .... hell knows how its done mind ??
 

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