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sambam

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Good apples and fine wine!

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy....... So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality,they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
And... Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

And.......
This is stoopid but funny!
After completing the three questions you will understand the subject line.Follow the instructions to find your new name. The following is an excerpt [slightly anglicised] from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dave Pilkey. The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:


a = poopsie > > b = lumpy > > c = buttercup > > d = gidget > > e = crusty > > f = greasy > > g = fluffy > > h = cheeseball > > i = chim-chim > > j = stinky > > k = flunky > > l = bogey > > m = pinky > > n = zippy > > o = goober > > p = fruitcake > > q = slimy > > r = loopy > > s = snotty > > t = tulefel > > u = looney > > v = squeezit > > w = wobbles > > x = skipper > > y = dinky > > z = zsa-zsa.


Use the second letter of your surname to determine the first half of your new surname:


a = nappy > > b = toilet > > c = giggle > > d = burger > > e = zit > > f = puke > > g = lizard > > h = waffle > > i = nit > > j = monkey > > k = potty > > l = liver > > m = banana > > n = rhino > > o = bubble > > p = hamster > > q = toad > > r = gizzard > > s = pizza > > t = gerbil > > u = chicken > > v = pickle > > w = chuckle > > x = tofu > > y = gorilla > > z = stinker > >


Use the fourth letter of your surname to determine the second half of your new surname:


a = head > > b = mouth > > c = nose > > d = face > > e = buttocks > > f = breath > > g = pants > > h = knickers > > i = lips > > j = honker > > k = bum > > l = scoffer > > m = cheeks > > n = chunks > > o = belly > > p = biscuits > > q = toes > > r = bottom > > s = chops > > t = sniffer > > u = sprinkles > > v = kisser > > w = squirt > > x = humperdinck > > y = brain > > z = juice

Thus, for example, John Howard's new name is Cheeseball Bubblehead and George Bush's is Goober Chickenknickers.

xxx :D
 
Thanks for that one, Not sure about my new name though :|
Love Snotty Bubblepants lol
 
me - looney nit-face - not far wrong...
 
I'm Poopsie Nappychops !!!!
 
my is Zippy Lips:)




lynda
 
god this reminds me of being at school its ace love zippy zitchops aka dee
 
Oh no! I'm Loopy Rhinobottom!!!!! Lorraine x:lol:
 
Just done the nail geeks lol lol lol
Aka Pinky Chuckle-Buttocks :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
Not sure about my new name

loopy nappy face:p
 
buttercup giggle-lips,

that was weird because my dads pet name for me when i was little was 'buttercup'
 
wobbles bellypants
thats about right lol
 
i forgot to tell you mine- pinky bubblescoffer!!

its cool isnt it?!!! got it as an email n had to put it on here!!!

have fun!
 
hi

buttercup giggle zit!!

nice dont think i will be changing to it by deed poll or anything though.

lol
 
My new name is : Gidget Chicken Scoffer !

Funny that!

I like a bit of KFC !

What a laugh ! :biggrin:
 
Pinky BubbleChunks!


Tis gonna look great on my new business cards!!
 
i am now.....CHIM-CHIM LIVERCHOPS......i think it quite suits me.... :p


stanleyann
 
great fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love from ZSA-ZSA BANANA SNIFFER !!!
 
Oh yes how funny was that..........
love from Tulefel Bubbleface xxx
 
stanleyann said:
i am now.....CHIM-CHIM LIVERCHOPS......i think it quite suits me.... :p


stanleyann


Alot nicer than mine....Crusty liverchops! x
 
Goober Nappybelly !!! :o :o :o
 
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