Take a risk or move on?

[Chezzababy]

Not really the one to give advice as am going through a rubbish time just now but it's easy to see and advise someone else from the outside.

Don't waste your time, I would say move on, be strong and learn by your mistakes.

All the best

xxxx

 

[Jocie]

Hey babe!

I honestly wanna say RUN! MOVE ON! DONT DO IT! But I wont because I know exactly how you feel. Every woman wants to be desired, and its hard when he is telling you what you want to hear. Like an earlier post says sounds what your tangled up in is a game.
Woman like complicated things (if we didnt we wouldnt get married ) if you do give it another go keep your eyes and ears open, respect yourself. I think you need closure and you defanitly will not get it untill you put it out of your mind. No relationship is stress or complicated free but it shouldnt be to complicated
From my personal experiance one of the relationships I had before my hubby was a lot like what your going through now and I got back with him and I deffs got my closure but not anything good from it. I cringe when I think back lol. But thats me everyone is different. Just be careful!
Xoxo:hug:

 

[sueelaine]

I've been in a very similar situation! Just reading your post made me think back.. I'd move on.. You don't need all the stress, yes, he might be totally faithful to you if you took him back, but you'll both still know it happened and you'll always have that doubt of how can you trust him. Maybe that's just me, I know some people that do get over trust issues quickly (or seem to anyway) but once someone's trust is gone to me I'll never fully trust them again.
I took my partner back after I found out and wish I hadn't... before, I was a happy, confident person and for a good few months (maybe even a year) it made me feel absolutely awful, worthless and humiliated. I'm only just getting back on track and feeling better in myself. People that make you feel this way aren't the people you want in your life.
Never stay friends with an ex cause it'll always go back round in circles. Maybe after a few years you'll be back in contact and really able to move past it because you would have grown as people, you'll respect eachother a lot more and look at things with a calmer head.

Just my advice hun, but from reading your posts it sounds like you really want to give it another shot. Don't take anything you don't deserve!

 

[souz]

i briefly read some of the posts and got the impression you have already made your mind up!! i wanted to say run a mile but knew that wasnt good advice as i am not having the feelings and emotions that you are so......

go with what your heart tells you or you will never know if he was the one!! love and relationships arent easy and maybe the trouble you two have had is just down to circumstance and wrong timing...who knows!!

if you want to give it another go why dont you set some boundaries and start off slow. Try not to get too wrapped up too quick, i know its hard for us women to do that but it can be done!!

if it doesnt work walk away and instead of trying to meet others to get over him why not stay on your own for a while?? once you learn to be on your own and be happy and content with life you will meet someone xx

 

[lillamy]

well hello there. I am probably not the best person to give u advice here but just wanted to tell you that I have been (and perhaps still am...) in a similar situation

I am in a relationship with someone else now (so decided to move on of course) who is also a huge challenge (he would never cheat tho, in other ways a challenge!) and not entirely sure I will stay in this relationship I am now in (probably not but I need time to get my strength together and so forth). However - the man that I am comparing your man with is still in contact AND he has been in contact for 8 years now. Yes 8 years! I haven't seen him for 5 years or so but he still contacts me on my birthday (some years more frequently) every year in the hope of seeing me again. He has made the effort to tell me how sorry he is about the past and all that but there really is so much trouble in there in that past that I cant face seeing him as I am too scared to get hurt. I almost did go to meet up with him last year but then backed out last minute as I got too scared. I just couldn't face it and whatever outcome that meeting might have had and what impact, I was too scared.

Having said all this I cant seem to get him out of my head completely, he is always "there" and I think that is because I never got complete closure. So I suppose that you and I can either leave things like they are and never get any proper closure or we can go and get our closure and risk getting very hurt.

Obviously I am with someone else now so I feel I cant get the closure while in my relationship still but I am just saying... things can go either way when u go after it and seems like you want to KNOW and I dont blame you but just be careful and keep in mind that you can get burnt but unless you try you will never know............. would be good to hear how you get on! x

 

[MissLou]

Wow, thank you all for your thoughts...I have a lot of thinking to do.

Can I just say though, it really isn't a game, well not for me anyway, I like the simple life and that's probably a lot of the reason why I didn't give him a proper go last time for fear of the obvious. I have tried for a long time to move on, I've been single for months in between, I'm happy with myself as a person, my job I;m happy with, I've progressed generally a lot this year, I got off my butt and finally got trained up in tanning, been promoting my hairdressing and going out with other friends, I haven't been curled up in a ball dwelling over him...So I'm thinking if he's still there (grrrr) I need to do something and getting over him doesn't seem to be working.

In saying that I do appreciate everyone's opinions and I'm grateful to the geeks that have shared their own experiences so I will give this situation one last BIG think before I do anything.

lillamy, yor post really touched a nerve with me, thank you so much for sharing, just by reading that has helped me make my mind up in one sense as I need closure either way. I'm aware that I may get really hurt but at the same time I feel that after being upset for a bit at least I would have found out one way or the other...I think it's a price I'm willing to pay....

Anyway as I say I am NOT doing anything until I have sat down and thought about this AGAIN (lol) once I've come to a decision I'll let you all know what I plan do (if anyones interested?) and hope for the best!!!


Thank you millions to all of you that took the time to reply, it really has helped me so much... :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: to you all xxxxx

 

[lillamy]

Wow, thank you all for your thoughts...I have a lot of thinking to do.

Can I just say though, it really isn't a game, well not for me anyway, I like the simple life and that's probably a lot of the reason why I didn't give him a proper go last time for fear of the obvious. I have tried for a long time to move on, I've been single for months in between, I'm happy with myself as a person, my job I;m happy with, I've progressed generally a lot this year, I got off my butt and finally got trained up in tanning, been promoting my hairdressing and going out with other friends, I haven't been curled up in a ball dwelling over him...So I'm thinking if he's still there (grrrr) I need to do something and getting over him doesn't seem to be working.

In saying that I do appreciate everyone's opinions and I'm grateful to the geeks that have shared their own experiences so I will give this situation one last BIG think before I do anything.

lillamy, yor post really touched a nerve with me, thank you so much for sharing, just by reading that has helped me make my mind up in one sense as I need closure either way. I'm aware that I may get really hurt but at the same time I feel that after being upset for a bit at least I would have found out one way or the other...I think it's a price I'm willing to pay....

Anyway as I say I am NOT doing anything until I have sat down and thought about this AGAIN (lol) once I've come to a decision I'll let you all know what I plan do (if anyones interested?) and hope for the best!!!


Thank you millions to all of you that took the time to reply, it really has helped me so much... :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: to you all xxxxx

yes please keep us posted Id love tp know what happens! and good luck:hug: