The Geek Chilli con carne cook off!!!!!

[Amethyst_Angel]

Thanks for this guacamole recipe....I love it....but why does it have to be so fattening !! My recipe for it also adds some lime juice....but if you overdo it it really spoils it.
I will give yours a try next time.....

That's funny... I thought that avocado was a good fat so guac is actually good for you. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!!! :green: :hug:

I think I have a very similar recipe to you, Izzidoll. Although I usually put a small amount of beer in it (rather than red wine).

I'm definitely going to give the chocolate a go tho.

Great thread!!!

 

[Sals]

This is quite funny. I didn't make a chilli last night but a pasta sauce that has chillies in it.

I have a stinking head cold and I thought it was just the right heat. Poor hubby's head nearly exploded, it was so hot!:lol:

Cleared my sinuses though!

 

[Amethyst_Angel]

Sorry if you've seen it before, peeps, but I thought this joke fitted Izzidoll's thread perfectly! :green:

***

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cooking contest. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted." Here are the scorecards from the advent:

(Frank Judge #3)

Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili...
Judge # 1 --! A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 -- (Frank) What the hell is this stuff?! You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put out the flames. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy!


Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili...

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor; needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili...

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.

Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now.
Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pie-eyed from all of the beer...

Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic...

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish, or other mild foods; not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover...

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.


Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety...

Judge # 1 -- Thin, yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I pooped on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair! No one seems inclined to stand behind me anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili...

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho-hum; tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress, as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me.
I've decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili...

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild, nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 farted, passed out, fell over, and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself.
Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?"

Judge # 3 -- Oh God.........

 

[izzidoll]

ROFLMAO!!:lol:

I want some of THOSE recipes though!!

 

[pazzy]

Thanks for this guacamole recipe....I love it....but why does it have to be so fattening !! My recipe for it also adds some lime juice....but if you overdo it it really spoils it.
I will give yours a try next time.....

Ahhhhhh I forgot about the lime juice!!!!

Yeh mine needs lime juice too for a zing!!!

 

[1999judy]

Hey...you lot...this is a chilli thread!! NO SPROUTS!

Any American geeks out there with a red hot recipe?

Oh and that Margarita recipe...

1 1/2 oz Tequila
1/2 oz Triple Sec ot Cointrau
1/2 oz lemon or lime juice.......I much prefer lime!!!

blend together with a load of ice if you want it to be like a slush puppy!!!

rub your glass rim with some lime juice and then salt....then chill in the freezer until required!!!
This is my Friday night ritual!!!!

Ah.... my kind of recipe

 

[Sassy Hassy]

Oh and if I use tinned tomatoes in any recipe I also add a teaspoon of sugar, again takes away any bitterness.

 

[Cathie!]

Just remembered, Scotch Bonnet chillis are nice and strong and sweet....defo a smidge of sugar with tinned toms.....

 

[Mrs.Clooney]

Sorry, can I interrupt please and ask what chipotle chillies are please? How are they different to supermarket chillies and are they widely available?

 

[Lavender-blue]

Well its 1.25.am and I have just made a chilli con carne !!!!

We are going to a bonfire party tomorrow night and I am taking the chilli as a food contribution. Yes bonfire party on September 1st.
Mad innit? Lol:lol::lol:

I have bought some 85% cocoa chocolate and am not sure how much to put in! Do I put the whole block in? Its quite a large block.

So far I have put 3 squares in, and am leaving it to simmer for half an hour then I am going in to taste!. I spose its safer to keep adding rather than putting it all in at once.
Everything has gone into this bloody chilli. Not sure whether I have put correct quantities in.
Normally I just throw swartz chilli con carne mix in.

I have done quite a large one cos its got to go round quite a few people.
I have used organic minced beef
onions, garlic, ginger(only a bit tho), juice of half a lime, paprika, cumin powder, red and green peppers, 2 red chillis , half a green chilli, worcester sauce, 2 oxos for the stock, 2 tins tomatos, sun dried tomato puree, corriander powder, red kidney beans, and the chocolate. I v got fresh corriander as well but wont put that in till tomorra, It smells lovely. Iv yet to taste it tho!!. My finges stink of lime juice, ginger and garlic all mingled up!! And I have washed my hands.

I am rambling its now 1.35 a.m and I wanna go to bed.