Very needy client

[chara]

I really messed up here and feel so stupid. So I had this client who came for a massage as she wanted relief from back pain and some relaxation. So she had the massage and all was well (I thought) anyway, she added me on Facebook (first mess up), shouldn't have added a client to my personal page! Then she messaged a week later to say the pain was worse and had kept her awake. At this point I told her I was not medically qualified to diagnose and she should see her doctor, maybe they could refer her for some physio or something. I also said until she had a diagnosis I didn't think a massage would be appropriate until she knew what was causing it. She was quite insistent that she wanted a treatment so I offered her some reiki as its non invasive. Anyway she had that. At a certain point she was really upset saying how the pain was unbearable etc, so I agreed to go for a coffee with her to cheer her up, be sympathetic (another mess up)!!
Since then she has not stopped messaging me, every time I look at my phone there're between 4-7 messages, random stuff like pictures of her family, updates on her pain, pictures of clothes she likes etc. She says she's so glad she can talk to me and that its great we're such good friends now. She keeps asking me to meet to 'cheer her up', she keeps tagging me on Facebook, I have managed to avoid meeting by saying I'm really busy, she has booked in for another appointment for reiki in a months time.
I genuinely feel sorry for her and want to help but to be honest I don't want to be socialising with her, it's too much, I know I made a huge mistake by having her on Facebook and going for a coffee, this is definitely a lesson learned for the future!!
The question is how the hell can I back track and cool her off? At first I was responding to her messages but now I respond just once or twice a day, after all she's a client so I can't ignore her completely. What an idiot I am!
I vow to NEVER have another client on Facebook!

 

[Rebeccalucy]

Hello!
Sounds like a real pain.. firstly do you work at the salon or run it? Because I know that usually an employee has certain limitations to communicating with clients outside of work like adding on Facebook, texting etc. You could use this as a reason to stop contact outside of work or maybe suggesting that new rules have come in to place at work regarding this! Secondly I think replying to her even just once a day is adding fuel to the fire so best off stopping that all together.. it is hard to seperate this sort of work from home at times but ultimately you are only there to provide her a service and a chat while she's there to let of steam but that's more than enough! It's hard but maybe you need to be a bit firmer and make this clear to her. You aren't there to take her problems on board x

 

[chara]

Thank you for the reply. I'm self employed renting a room, God I wish I could use the new rules excuse! You're right I do need to toughen up! Less replying definitely! In fact today I haven't replied and I have 6 messages and 2 Facebook tags already! Think I might also say I'm gonna make my Facebook family only then block her, feel kind of bad but it's driving me nuts! Thanks again

 

[Nicholanac]

It's such a tricky one! I done the same thing and was practically stalked by a client who thought she was a best friend and I was too polite, she even invited herself to my engagement party and walked by my house every day with her dog which she never done before.

I started saying how busy i was, replying less. Keeping messages simple and sharing no information with her. Any staus etc ypu can put on a custom list so certain people cant see (on facebook) also put her in a restricted friends list or limited so that she doesn't have much to see about your personal life from now on. I started replying only to her messages about work and just explaining how busy I was getting and maintaining a friendly but more professional view, not giving opinions on other things not related to work. She eventually backed iff and i then deleted her and i havent seen her since! Maybe her dog doesnt need exercise anymore?
As polite as you are and bad you feel for her you must put the distance between yourselves and re-establish a professional relationship. If you need to back off more, tell her you have a lot going on and haven't been replying to messages often other than work, but don't keep explaining yourself. Just ignore her and she will eventually take the hot and find someone new to latch on too. Harsh but sometimes it needs to be done!..take it from someone that knows xxx

 

[chara]

Thank you Nicholanac,
Yes I've been very polite and accommodating, too much! I've completely stopped responding to the random photos of family and pets and will only now reply to messages about treatments and then I'll only reply couple times a week at most. I had clients on fb before without problem but this is a lesson I've learned now and after this I won't be adding any more EVER! Maybe it's the same person, she has a dog and keeps saying I should meet him lol