When is it wrong to keep quiet? Debate.

[dandelionpoppy]

I've been reading a thread on bullying, and it made me think about a wider issue.

Let's take the example of a sexual assault.
Does the victim have a moral obligation to report it,and protect other potential victims, or does he/she have the right to choose to keep it quiet and carry on with life without the trauma of a court case?

There must be other examples, too.

I don't have a definite opinion. Do you?

 

[LocksOfLove]

I'll PM you. Don't fancy plastering it on here xx

 

[mollie1985]

It is ultimately their choice to keep quiet and there's perfectly good reasons too but at the same time keeping quiet lets the culprit carry on doing whatever they are doing, what gets me that needs to be highlighted is that not speaking out causes a lot of stress to the victim and can lead to depression,fears, etc and in severe cases suicide but on the other hand speaking out can also cause these things xx

 

[LolliDolli]

Obviously everyone has the option to keep quiet but I really do think more people should speak up.


Laura xx

 

[mollie1985]

The perfect example is when you read real life stories especially when it's sexual assault and they have lived with it their whole life and then they eventually speak up and for once feel in control x

 

[virtues2011]

I've been reading a thread on bullying, and it made me think about a wider issue.

Let's take the example of a sexual assault.
Does the victim have a moral obligation to report it,and protect other potential victims, or does he/she have the right to choose to keep it quiet and carry on with life without the trauma of a court case?

There must be other examples, too.

I don't have a definite opinion. Do you?

What do people class as sexual assault? You will have an argument in any sexual assault cases same as bullying.

Look at the young girls today, do you think they should be in a nightclub with hardly any clothes on then walk home all on their own, hammered at 4am? Are they asking for it? Do we as a society make it 'ok' for this to happen with the amount of sexually related TV programmes, songs, sex shops, skimpy range of clothes that are all around us....I don't think men are always to blame for these issues. women are equally to blame and some what worse in certain situations especially when alcohol is involved. Cry wolf.

My daughter has a rather large bust, all through school she wore big baggy clothes to hide it, she had boys poke her, touch her, call her names... it only came to light when she left school. She gave them as good as she got and I believe actually slapped a few of them in the chops. She never reported it. She didn't think it was worth it and chose not to. Everyone has different thresholds. Then you will get the work place scenario, squeezing to pass someone and you accidently touch them - straight to a sexual harassment case.

This country is becoming to easy to sue anyone for anything, not helping with the hundreds of no win no fee solicitors around. God only knows how they all survived 100 years ago.

What is acceptable to one is not to the other.

 

[LolliDolli]

Woman should be able to wear what they want and drink what they want. It's not the 1920's!

I don't see how wearing short skirts and going home at 4am is 'asking for it'
Are they stood in the street shouting 'COME AND **** ME'

Saying they are asking for it is just like saying they deserve it. And that's awful.


Laura xx

 

[mollie1985]

What do people class as sexual assault? You will have an argument in any sexual assault cases same as bullying.

Look at the young girls today, do you think they should be in a nightclub with hardly any clothes on then walk home all on their own, hammered at 4am? Are they asking for it? Do we as a society make it 'ok' for this to happen with the amount of sexually related TV programmes, songs, sex shops, skimpy range of clothes that are all around us....I don't think men are always to blame for these issues. women are equally to blame and some what worse in certain situations especially when alcohol is involved. Cry wolf.

My daughter has a rather large bust, all through school she wore big baggy clothes to hide it, she had boys poke her, touch her, call her names... it only came to light when she left school. She gave them as good as she got and I believe actually slapped a few of them in the chops. She never reported it. She didn't think it was worth it and chose not to. Everyone has different thresholds. Then you will get the work place scenario, squeezing to pass someone and you accidently touch them - straight to a sexual harassment case.

This country is becoming to easy to sue anyone for anything, not helping with the hundreds of no win no fee solicitors around. God only knows how they all survived 100 years ago.

What is acceptable to one is not to the other.

I'm actually getting quite annoyed with your attitude on this thread and the bullying thread,you know something your the reason why people don't speak up and if your daughter was "poked and touched" then that is sexual assault and should have been reported just because your daughter slapped a few doesn't make it ok

 

[virtues2011]

I'm actually getting quite annoyed with your attitude on this thread and the bullying thread,you know something your the reason why people don't speak up and if your daughter was "poked and touched" then that is sexual assault and should have been reported just because your daughter slapped a few doesn't make it ok

You are more than welcome to jump up and down at any of my posts. . That's your problem, not mine. I'm not taking it personally. I find it very hard to believe that I am the reason people don't speak up. .... Are you bullying me because you don't agree with my views?. . Shall I report you? See .. Where does it end.

I still defend the point that everyone is different and has different thresholds of what they class as bullying.

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[virtues2011]

Woman should be able to wear what they want and drink what they want. It's not the 1920's!

I don't see how wearing short skirts and going home at 4am is 'asking for it'
Are they stood in the street shouting 'COME AND **** ME'

Saying they are asking for it is just like saying they deserve it. And that's awful.


Laura xx

Ha ha. .It was a thought process Laura. . Not that I agree with it.

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[mollie1985]

If everyone had your attitude then nobody would speak up and to be honest I can tell exactly what kind of person you are as iv seen numerous threads with you provoking people so we can agree to disagree

 

[virtues2011]

If everyone had your attitude then nobody would speak up and to be honest I can tell exactly what kind of person you are as iv seen numerous threads with you provoking people so we can agree to disagree

really! That's laughable.

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[Missy1213]

I feel everyone has a choice. They can choose to keep quiet or speak out.
Their choice. It's happened to them after all.
Those cases where the abuser will go on to abuse others I would hope the victim would be brave enough to speak out to prevent others going through what they did. If they didn't though who are we to say anything.

 

[mollie1985]

Sorry just another thing see you mocking being bullied because I don't agree with you isn't helpful neither bullying is a serious matter that doesn't get addressed the way it should

 

[dandelionpoppy]

Let's keep this as a debate.
Stay on track Geeks!

 

[virtues2011]

Sorry just another thing see you mocking being bullied because I don't agree with you isn't helpful neither bullying is a serious matter that doesn't get addressed the way it should

Regardless of your personal thoughts towards me, what do you class as bullying? I have 35 staff. I have to take any issue of this nature seriously. Personally no one has ever made me feel depressed, unhappy or worthless but I am of a stronger character than most. Why does that make me wrong in your eyes. .. Because you don't like what you read.

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[mollie1985]

Regardless of your personal thoughts towards me, what do you class as bullying? I have 35 staff. I have to take any issue of this nature seriously. Personally no one has ever made me feel depressed, unhappy or worthless but I am of a stronger character than most. Why does that make me wrong in your eyes. .. Because you don't like what you read.

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If your so strong and never been bullied then your never going to understand and yes I do disagree with your opinion but like me your more than entitled to it, bullying can be done in so many ways for instance cyber bullying is a big problem just now especially on Facebook etc name calling is bullying, bullying to me is when one person is targeted repeatedly

 

[virtues2011]

If your so strong and never been bullied then your never going to understand and yes I do disagree with your opinion but like me your more than entitled to it, bullying can be done in so many ways for instance cyber bullying is a big problem just now especially on Facebook etc name calling is bullying, bullying to me is when one person is targeted repeatedly

School children I understand as it just doesn't stop there it carries on all through classes, breaks and at weekends. Not sure I personally agree with adults throwing the bullying card about so much but that is purely my opinion and it would have to be a really good reason before I mentioned the word. There are always people in life who you won't get on with who make comments towards you, call you names etc is how you deal with it. Every situation is different and should be looked at as such.

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[dandelionpoppy]

There is a thread on bullying.....can we open up the debate a bit? We seem to be getting into a bit of a rut here:wink2:

 

[xxAmyxx]

Things that only effect you are ok to keep quiet about.

Sexual assault should be spoke about, bullying is a odd subject though; bullying is so different to each individual. In my experience they go away when no emotion is shown or unfortunately when threatened with violence.

If I was in a job and something kept happening I would leave but make the reason known why; I'm leaving because I can no longer put up with bla bla and their behaviour.

If someone is an onlooker to any kind if bullying/assault/abuse they should NOT keep quiet, to me this makes you as bad as the bully etc. For victims it's their choice.