Would you ever ....

[lila22]

Before phones I just use to think I was going round the bend!!
My ex ex (daughters dad) who I was with when I was 21 (40 now) would go out on a Friday night and sometimes not come home till Sunday!! And I lived with his parents and him!!
He was always lying and making me paranoid, so yes I'd of snooped if he had a phone!
If your in that situation with no trust I think most would be tempted luckily I'm not now and don't have a reason to! Xx

 

[Julie-Liz]

Out of interest ...these of you who did check their messages....were the messages you found the straw that broke the camels back .? If you were in the same situation 20 years ago before the advent of mobiles ...being suspicious of your OH ....what would have or could have you done to verify their duplicity ?

To be honest if it was 20 yrs ago I would have been 8 yrs old lol but if mobiles and FB weren't around now, he wouldn't have been able to have the discussions I found on his phone! Sometimes I think social media creates more problems and opportunity for over friendly chats that started out as quite harmless.

 

[Mobile Manicure]

No. I'm not interested at all. He hardly gets calls or texts unless they're from me. If he suddenly started to get an active phone life and acted mysteriously and disappeared for hours on end then maybe I would but I have no reason to now.

 

[libbylou]

I do i check texts , f/b,twitter everything , i really do not know why i do it , i just do, i have never found anything doubt i ever will. Very trusting person i am not.

 

[Mobile Manicure]

I think 20 years ago you would have just followed them to see where they were really going !

Ha ha ha. Yes I did that about 25 years ago. Stupid ex boyfriend.. I still don't know what I ever saw in him. Oh yes I remember now. He came from a filthy rich family. He said he was staying home. I didn't believe him and grabbed my best friend and we went to his favourite bar where he and all his friends hung out. Sure enough I caught him snogging some other girl in a corner. I was distraught (only young, so much to learn) and cried all the way home.

 

[Abbie101]

After reading this thread yesterday gave me some horrible dream last night about my boyfriend deleting his text with some girl ... It was actually horrible it was a lot longer than I just described but that's how the dream started 😁 xx

 

[GirlyGeek]

I do sometimes snoop even though I know logically I won't find anything. My partner is amazing and he is the most see through person in the world. He's very innocent in that he hates lying and couldn't even tell somebody it was 14:10 o'clock it it was 14:15 ... but insecurity from past relationships sometimes gets to me and I have a quick nosy.

Stems from an ex I had before I got with partner who went to work once and left his msn conversation open on the computer by accident. There wasn't anything sexual or lewd but I found out a lot about what his friends / family thought of me and what aspects of my personality he wanted changed. Well I'm sorry but I am not changing for anybody and I'm not going to socialise with two faced friends!

 

[coco.]

I do look at his phone but only because I'm super nosey I trust him completely but I like to know all the gossip that he forgets to tell me

But this has got me thinking and I'm not going to be nosey anymore

He is useless for passing messages on and invites etc so I have found important things out from his messages but I'm not going to look anymore because i guess it is wrong

God I wish I weren't such a nosey cow because this will be hard 😔

 

[Abbie101]

I do look at his phone but only because I'm super nosey I trust him completely but I like to know all the gossip that he forgets to tell me

But this has got me thinking and I'm not going to be nosey anymore

He is useless for passing messages on and invites etc so I have found important things out from his messages but I'm not going to look anymore because i guess it is wrong

God I wish I weren't such a nosey cow because this will be hard 😔

This is exactly what I'm like... Trust him 100% but I'm just so nosey haha x

 

[facelashbrow]

Funnily enough this thread put it in my head to have a peek and now I feel sick.

I havent even found anything concrete but just a feeling. Theres a girl at my hubbys work and when I met her straight away she was a bit awkward and I thought, you are so his type, he'd fancy you. She is beautiful, very slim and 21. But no reason to be suspicious at all. He's been put with work 3 times in the last 8 weeks with work which I know doesnt sound much but we have a family and before that I think it had been twice in 6 months. he's out again tonight a bit last minute and been off when hes at home but saying hes just tired, but otherwise been happy, even today was declaring his love and persuading me not to be cross cuz he's out again. And I am not being controlling, I had a baby 8 weeks ago and a 3 year old so bedtime is testing.

Scrolling thru SG and this thread, innocently think I will have a look on fb expecting to see his boring msgs about warhammer meet ups and whilst he's been out he's messaged her. Nothing incriminating but still. I searched her to have a look, they're not friends. Noticed whilst in the search that you get a search history and that she has been searched for several times and not just today. Also another two girl, plus his ex. The ex was added as a friend.

I know its not exactly crime of the century but I feel really uneasy. He's only searched this girls since may, whilst were having little sex (had had none at this point) and nothing before. All girls are fit and his type.

Theres nothing wrong really but I do feel sick and have a feeling I cant describe. Am I being stupid? She hasn't seen his message. I literally cant tell anyone else so no one to give me a reality check.

Sent from my GT-I9505 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[facelashbrow]

he also msged his best mates ex out the blue-she had a new fit pic on. hr mentioned the kids and she lives in nz so hardly a threat but once she mentioned me he signed off.

Sent from my GT-I9505 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[virtues2011]

Oh Facelashbrow, I can see your concern. I would feel it too. It maybe harmless and I understand having a baby is stressful on both of you, this may be his release not to feel "a dad" so to speak, however this doesn't make it right or fair on you or the children. I don't know how you can even bring this subject up without confronting him with the truth, you have that option or just keep monitoring the situation, but you may not like the result...

 

[facelashbrow]

Thank you so much for replying virtues. I really needed someone to. I totally agree, they say dont look for this very reason dont they! My heart is pounding and I didn't know what to do...like you said I want to monitor it and see if anything does happen rather than pull him up on it now... I wouldnt normally read his phone but now I want to :-/ not that he ever lets go of it and he obviously doesn't have his number to have fbooked her.

I totally cant sleep now, baby will probably be up in the next hour or two anyway. He has since messaged again but its still not anything as yet. Its the frequent searches that bother me, I did wonder if maybe he deletes his msgs with her just in case so we will see.

I really hope this is something and nothing and a way to teach me not to snoop because on the whole we're really happy and I didnt expect to find anything.

He msged saying, Honestly I hope you're alright. Then 2hrs later, if I didnt make sense earlier I'm sorry but you're better than that.

he was due home at 11.



Sent from my GT-I9505 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[facelashbrow]

He did tell the friends ex that he didnt have much time to himself now he has two, which makes me laugh...

Sent from my GT-I9505 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[facelashbrow]

reading that, I dont think anything is going on but I do think he fancies her. its not showing that she has seen or replied to his msgs.

hes just messaged the other girl he searched asking if she is out next time.

I feel sick.

Sent from my GT-I9505 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[virtues2011]

reading that, I dont think anything is going on but I do think he fancies her. its not showing that she has seen or replied to his msgs.

hes just messaged the other girl he searched asking if she is out next time.

I feel sick.

Sent from my GT-I9505 using SalonGeek mobile app

You have no hard proof, but what you do have doesn't look promising. If he comes back and tells you that he's contacted some girls then that is all good in my opinion at least there are no secrets to that part. .. but if not I fear you may start asking him questions. I say that because I know I would, but then I also know I would confront him without further thought. It will eat you up if you keep it all inside and your relationship may suffer, don't fall into a depression because of what you have seen. It is easily done. I'm not sure how you can carry on being normal towards him...I feel for you. I really hope you can get this sorted. X

Sent from my GT-N7100 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[facelashbrow]

ordinarily when something similar happened when we were young, I just confronted him and it was all innocent. This time I just want to bide my time.

I searched her on instagram and found some other bits, nothing hard proof but again it's not looking good.

I will sleep on it (not much though as I am due to get up in 4 hrs) and see how I feel.

I had also text him around the time he msged her...although I didnt get a reply.

So much for being back by 11, its half past 2.

Sent from my GT-I9505 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[facelashbrow]

Thanks for replying btw.

Either way I feel as if I now know he has it in him to be sly (cheat?)...And the fact his searches have been over the past 2 months.

Sent from my GT-I9505 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[lottiemayy]

Oh facelashbrows you poor thing :/

Tryyyy and just relax and reassure yourself..it's probably all innocent, but that's easier said than done. I know if it were me I'd go in there all guns blazing!

I once found texts from a girl and felt exactly the same..pounding heart, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep...I did go guns blazing but dug a bit deeper and found that it was pretty innocent..just a young girl with a crush on my boyfriend!

He's probably just enjoying the attention but would never act on it!
With a new baby, he's may be feeling a bit left out and just looking for attention! Not that it's right to find it elsewhere - but there's probably nothing going on!

Hope you get some sleep and feel better in the morning x

 

[facelashbrow]

Thanks hun.

Things always look worse at night don't they?

Its just occured to me that everywhere in town shuts at 2. its now 4.15. We live half hr away max from town. wtf.

Sent from my GT-I9505 using SalonGeek mobile app