Would you forgive a cheater?

[PixieBeauty]

Hi all, hope nobody minds me posting this but it's something that comes up occasionally in chit-chat posts about relationships.

I'm asking a totally HYPOTHETICAL question here, but from someone who has been cheated on, I'd like to hear general opinions.

I always used to think I'd forgive a cheater. Definitely. Because for one person to have cheated there's something that's gone wrong in the relationship, it takes two people to work at it etc.

So I was cheated on...and I forgave him. Of course we had things to work on etc....a couple of years passed and he did it again. I ignored all my friends first time who said once a cheater, always a cheater. I figure we can all screw up from time to time.

So the second time round we called it a day. Within weeks I met the guy I'm with now, and frankly this is how it should be. 18 months in and it occurred to me the other day, why on EARTH did I think I deserved anything less than being with a guy that wouldn't cheat on me?? I couldn't quite believe what I'd thought I was supposed to put up with & forgive.

So, bit of my perspective there but hypothetically - would you forgive a partner that cheated on you?? Xx

 

[Mobile Manicure]

Hi all, hope nobody minds me posting this but it's something that comes up occasionally in chit-chat posts about relationships.

I'm asking a totally HYPOTHETICAL question here, but from someone who has been cheated on, I'd like to hear general opinions.

I always used to think I'd forgive a cheater. Definitely. Because for one person to have cheated there's something that's gone wrong in the relationship, it takes two people to work at it etc.

So I was cheated on...and I forgave him. Of course we had things to work on etc....a couple of years passed and he did it again. I ignored all my friends first time who said once a cheater, always a cheater. I figure we can all screw up from time to time.

So the second time round we called it a day. Within weeks I met the guy I'm with now, and frankly this is how it should be. 18 months in and it occurred to me the other day, why on EARTH did I think I deserved anything less than being with a guy that wouldn't cheat on me?? I couldn't quite believe what I'd thought I was supposed to put up with & forgive.

So, bit of my perspective there but hypothetically - would you forgive a partner that cheated on you?? Xx

Short and fast answer: No. I am worth more than that. Glad you realised you are too. We all are!

 

[kirsty]

Hell no!!!

 

[xxAmyxx]

No. Once a cheat, always a cheat!!!

 

[Jigglyb4ll]

Of course you should forgive, it's obvious that it didn't mean anything to him...

...HAHAA!! As if!!

'Trust is Like a vase...once it's broken you can put all the bits back together but the cracks will always show'
X

 

[Christine Mary]

No, no, no!!!

 

[Penny Vintage]

Personally the reason I could not forgive and work on it is because I would never trust them again. It would change me, and my attitude towards him. If he protected his phone even months or years later id get very paranoid, Thats not healthy. But I was born into a cheating environment and from a toddler my dad left for another woman. I don't believe in cheating, if I wanted to cheat I would have to realise I am obviously not happy and this persons not for me.. so move on and save the heart ache of cheating on that person. But thats my opinion, and I do definatly agree with once a cheater always a cheater.

 

[SillyBilly]

NO

I would never cheat and expect my OH to be totally the same.

 

[lila22]

No, ive forgave alot in the past but cheating is a no no! Im quite a jealous person (think its a scorpio thing) so i could not get over it! xx

 

[bobbyrazz]

I would say no. However its not always that easy to give up on someone

 

[lozenja]

I think it depends on situation.. If cheat was on a random drunken night out and was a once off pash and person confessed then I would give them a second chance but an affair type senario i could not trust again...

Sent from my GT-I9100 using SalonGeek

 

[PixieBeauty]

Ooh quite a strong response!

I like it!

Xx

 

[Prettyflamingo]

Not a chance ANSI probably wouldn't be very dignified about it either ha ha maybe that's a Scorpio thing!!!

 

[Laurachicgeek]

Simply no! Hold out and someone who is right will come along!!! It's always when you least expect it!

 

[lise]

def not have done in the past but hey its a big wide world out there

 

[Pinkbunny28]

Nope. Absolutely unforgivable. I would chop his thing off too lol

Another unforgivable would be if he hit me...x

 

[Luscious85]

I do believe that everyone makes mistakes but cheating is something I just could not forgive - things would never be the same again and I know I'd never fully get over it. That sort of thing makes you very paranoid and really brings you down - I'd much rather be on my own than even try to sort it out.

 

[McKendrick22]

No danger! I too was brought up with cheating and it absolutely destroys family's, i think its disgusting. Makes me feel sick even just thinking about my OH being with someone else he would definitely be gone!
And there is no such thing as a 'drunken mistake'. No excuse can make cheating of any sort better.
Vicki xx

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[Vixon]

I have forgiven in the past, well split up an then decided to get back together and try again( we have a child together)

Learned my lesson now though, although I'm not aware of any recent cheating( who knows though!)

.......what has happened though is he had absolutely no respect for me at all , does as he pleases , to he point where 3 weeks ago we went into town with some of his family for a drink, too many to get in one cab so us girls jumped in the first taxi and the lads( our boyfriends) wer getting in another one behind us.

So we wait in a bar, no money between us, no house keys cause the lads had them, only to find they wer in a lap dancing bar the whole time!

Now if that's not love I don't know what is!

2 hours I stood there waiting! Getting text messages saying "still waiting for a taxi"

I would have just gone home if I had any keys!

So my answer is HELL NO!

 

[Dream Nails]

No no no and just incase it's not clear no!!!
It's happened to me twice in the past and even now after being married to a wonderful man for nearly 10 years I'm still a paranoid fruit loop. I keep it bottled in though and nothing has ever happened in my marriage it's just the way I've been left.
Worse thing is the second one saw what the first did and then did the same thing.
Did I mention the word No
Vicki x