Would you leave your baby alone in the car?

[An*Gel]

I rent a space in a hair salon and we have a client who has been coming in for years. She is very close to the owner of the salon and her father died of cancer last year. On his deathbed she asked him to bless her with a baby that she has wanted for years and she found out she was pregnant a few weeks later.. sorry to waffle a bit. Anyway along came the lovely little baby girl 9 months later and our client seems really thrilled.

Only thing is, that the salon owner told me that she often leaves her in the car while she gets her hair done. Both myself and the salon owner are horrified by this and the salon owner often insists that she bring the baby in (6 mthns) as she's "dying to see her" (don't think I could be so tactfull)

A few months ago the salon owner was walking along the main street and saw the baby alone in the car again. The poor little mite was crying so she rang the client's mobile and she said she was just in the chemist, which is about 200 yards away.

So, just this evening, I was doing my grocery shopping with my hubbie and 2 year old and I met the client and asked "no baby this evening?".. she told me that she was asleep in the car .. well, I swear my heart stopped.. she said she knew it was wrong and I couldn't hold back and told her that it was very wrong and that anything could happen. (it was dark at 6 this evening and it's an underground carpark).. I go with my hubby 'cause it gives me the creeps in the dark.

I'm sorry this is so long winded... I was speaking to the salon owner and told her what happed and now she thinks we should report it to social services.. Oh God I just feel sick about the whole thing.

I don't think we should report her, but think we need to do something. I personally feel she might be depressed but hides it well (can you hide depression?.. I honestly don't know). I asked the salon owner to have a chat with her as they would be very friendly, but she's afraid of offending her.

What would you do?

 

[marioned]

I think this is so wrong. Anything could happen during the time she is away from the baby. Apart from the dangers of being taken, what if there was a fire, the baby choked, became unwell..... I just don't want to think what could happen. It just fills me with horror to picture a little, tiny, innocent baby left in a dark carpark on its own!

 

[shell28]

I think it is sooo wrong but i think you both need to think long and hard before you ring social services. Sorry if that upsets anyone but i just think reporting it is a very big thing and should not be taken lightly dont get me wrong what she is doing is very wrong but you both need to sit her down and talk about it maybe say that in no uncertain terms that if she keeps on doing it then you will have no choice but to report her.

 

[MINKUS]

oh gosh what a tough one - this would positively EAT at me:irked:

Only thing i can say is....i'd rather be OVER cautious than something ever happen to the poor mite and then live with the guilt.

Its freezing in a car this time of year...as you say anything could happen

Some people

Good luck

 

[gillian w]

I think you have to do something.Not sure about social services yet, maybe contact the local department where her childs health visitor would work from.They can advise you as to what you can do.
Apart from the danger to the child it would also be illegal.

 

[Annie23]

I can understand Shell where you are coming from, but the mother is putting the babys life at risk, imagine how they would feel if something dreadful happened. Is there any chance you could talk to her family before ringing social services they might not know what is happening. But really in a situation like this do you have any option but to ring social services, I know this may seem harsh but the baby's welfare must come first.

 

[An*Gel]

I think it is sooo wrong but i think you both need to think long and hard before you ring social services. Sorry if that upsets anyone but i just think reporting it is a very big thing and should not be taken lightly dont get me wrong what she is doing is very wrong but you both need to sit her down and talk about it maybe say that in no uncertain terms that if she keeps on doing it then you will have no choice but to report her.

I totally agree with you michelle. I know it's wrong to leave the baby and I'm really hoping we can talk to her... ringing social services is out of the question as far as I'm concerned (my hubbie agrees too) don't know how to go about talking to her though or even going about getting her some help...you know yourself how it is with clients, you have to tread carefully.. if she was my friend I would sit her down and have a good talk to her

 

[HeLLoKittY!]

This is horrendous

I would rather tell her how irresponsible she is (if she got caught might face having the baby taken off her) & risk loosing her as a client/friend than not warn her of the dangers.

If I walked past a car and saw a child/baby on their own I would flip.

It's just not on, it's neglect.

 

[ValencianNails]

I personally feel she might be depressed but hides it well (can you hide depression?.. I honestly don't know).

It's quite possible that she has some form of depression, possibly post natal? It's also quite possible to hide depression from those around you, I've done it myself (quite a few yrs ago) and it doesn't help one bit to keep it all bottled up.

I really don't like the thought of this thread being on the site, you never know who's looking and if I were this lady then I'd be mortified to be reading about myself and being discussed publicly

 

[gillian w]

Well i think you can point out to her that if someone else were to have walked past the car or seen the baby in the car park and rang the police, and it was found out that she was a good way away having her hair done, that would be classed as child neglect or even abandonment because of the age of the child.
She could then be arrested and social services would definately be called.
Tell her a bit of a tall story about something like this actually happened to a friend of a friend and see if it frightens her into not doing it again

 

[An*Gel]

It's quite possible that she has some form of depression, possibly post natal? It's also quite possible to hide depression from those around you, I've done it myself (quite a few yrs ago) and it doesn't help one bit to keep it all bottled up.

I really don't like the thought of this thread being on the site, you never know who's looking and if I were this lady then I'd be mortified to be reading about myself and being discussed publicly

Ohhh I feel bad enough about this whole thing.. I'll never sleep tonight!!!:cry:

 

[Zingara]

I know it difficult, but I think the question I'd ask myself, is "could I live with myself if I did nothing and then something happened to the baby"

If you can't face calling social services, then maybe call the police if and when it happens again and report a baby in a car alone? That way she may get a warning as opposed to action, immediately, to stop her doing it again?

Christ....if someone wants a child so much, why would they leave them at risk like that? I just don't get it?

 

[gillian w]

How about getting advice from the nspcc About the NSPCC Helpline?

 

[An*Gel]

Thanks a million Gillian :hug:.. might just do that, as a few of you have said (and what's eating me) is that if something happened to that baby then I would feel terrible that I didn't do something about it.

 

[cathill]

When i had my first child 6 years ago i once left her in the car whilst i nipped into sainsburys to get 1 thing! over the tanoid i heard my car reg called and i went to the desk my heart dropped and actually someone had complained i felt so bad and i guess it made me think i was young then and didn't really think of the dangers but i've never ever done it since i now have another baby and wouldn't dream of leaving him , even when i'm at the petrol station i take them both in with me. Such cases as madaline mc cann surely must of made people think twice. Underground in a dark car park though is terrible if i'd of seen it i'd of reported it to the police i reckon.:irked:

 

[HeLLoKittY!]

When i had my first child 6 years ago i once left her in the car whilst i nipped into sainsburys to get 1 thing! over the tanoid i heard my car reg called and i went to the desk my heart dropped and actually someone had complained i felt so bad and i guess it made me think i was young then and didn't really think of the dangers but i've never ever done it since i now have another baby and wouldn't dream of leaving him , even when i'm at the petrol station i take them both in with me. Such cases as madaline mc cann surely must of made people think twice. Underground in a dark car park though is terrible if i'd of seen it i'd of reported it to the police i reckon.:irked:

My kids always come into the petrol staton with me,I would never leave them, there are some horrible monsters out there and you can't be too carefull.

Children don't ask to be born it's up to the parents to protect them.

 

[An*Gel]

When i had my first child 6 years ago i once left her in the car whilst i nipped into sainsburys to get 1 thing! over the tanoid i heard my car reg called and i went to the desk my heart dropped and actually someone had complained i felt so bad and i guess it made me think i was young then and didn't really think of the dangers but i've never ever done it since i now have another baby and wouldn't dream of leaving him , even when i'm at the petrol station i take them both in with me. Such cases as madaline mc cann surely must of made people think twice. Underground in a dark car park though is terrible if i'd of seen it i'd of reported it to the police i reckon.:irked:

I know what you mean.. we all do silly things when we are young. I think what happened to Madeline McCann has made us all terrified (and paranoid) I just want to clarify something though ... running into a garage to pay for your petrol while watching the car from the window, running back into the house when you have forgotten your mobile etc. is one thing, but to leave a 6 month old while you go into a busy shopping centre (there was a queue at each checkout) and leave your baby in an underground carpark.. (which is lit up by the way).. she must have been there for at least 20 mins.. that really worries me, especially since I know she does it all the time without a thought.

 

[JackieMc]

Horrendous and so irresponsible........ I won't even leave my dogs in the car alone!

Whatever her reason for doing this (medical or just plain stupidness) someone needs to talk to her about it, and Social Services are ther to help people not just grab their kids away from them the minute something goes wrong so perhaps it would be best to speak to them, at least they are professionals and used to dealing with this sort of thing.

 

[cathill]

Make a complaint i would you can do it without giving your name she would never know it was you and it might ease your worries and all ours!!!x

 

[An*Gel]

I'm going to have a chat with the salon owner and come to some sort of conclusion.. she's really upset about this (I am too.. I mean hello!! it's nearly midnight.. that's way passed my bedtime and I'm still up worrying about this).. thanks a million for all the replies.. would still like to hear anyone elses opinion though, but for now I'm off to bed (hope I don't dream about babies being kidnapped)