BBC- the great abortion divide

[CHarvey]

Surely adoption can lead to emotional issues for mother and child?

You can't force people to continue a pregnancy it would lead to back door abortions and would take a huge mental toll on the women carrying the child as well as a physical toll.

It's never going to be a topic that all will agree on as its an emotive topic. I had a friend who had an abortion whilst I was pregnant she was scared and felt very alone. I felt stronger than ever during my pregnancy that she had the right to choose if and when she ha children.

Are you saying that abortion doesn't cause emotional issues? Xx

 

[Claire-x]

Regardless of all of our opinions on this, I think the crux of this issue lies in the following question: Would you impose on a newborn child a parent that didnt want it? All the comments about counselling and education are right, but still if a womam has had all these things and still doesnt want the baby do we let her have the child then send her home from hospital with it, to be its carer and provider? I think its a very shortsighted view personally. It's not about life for life's sake, it's about quality of life.

The child could always be put up for adoption. The chances are, if the child is unwanted from birth it'll only be resented its whole life and all you end up with is a child with so many problems and trust issues that it eventually ends up in care anyway getting passed from foster family to foster family. I'm not generalizing here, just sharing a story I've been a part of!

 

[xxAmyxx]

It's all well saying about adoption, but children could be stuck in care? shoved to and from foster homes etc...Not to mention wondering why there parents didn't want them x

 

[jazmine]

Are you saying that abortion doesn't cause emotional issues? Xx

No not at all, or course there are emotional issues. But as an adult that made an informed decision you have to deal with it. For people it can go either way, regret or reassurance
that they mad the right choice.

 

[X18WAT]

what annoys me most is unfit mothers that choose alcohol, drugs and men over their children or drug addicts that not only have their first child taken from them but go on to have more which are also taken away from them. one of those people is my sister. my mum adopted her first child and he now has a happy, fulfilled life. he was taking away before he was 1 into care and was put in my mums care by the time he was 1 1/2 and is now 8. we know he still remembers being neglected due to the way he reacts to certain situations. i think its disgusting that people can bring a baby into the world when they've been taking drugs throughout the pregnancy resulting in the baby being born an addict. my sisters 2nd baby was in neonatal care for weeks so that she could be weened off the drugs, if thats even the correct word to use. she has now found a lovely family that has adopted her and my mum recieves 1 letter a year from her new mummy and daddy informing her of how she is getting on in life. if nobody was to have abortions and every 'unwanted' baby was given up for adoption, there would be a far less adoption rate due to the amount of babies waiting for new families resulting in a higher rate of foster children with no family. my opinion is that id rather end an unwanted pregnancy than knoe that my baby was out there with noone to love it and give it the life i couldnt. iv had one termination, and it was not a form of contraceptive as i was on contraceptive and unluckily fell within that small percent of chance of falling pregnant. i never judge people on these situations anymore but have the utmost respect for other peoples opinions and views on the matter and everyone should be supported regardless of their choice

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[lynn amber]

I was simply disagreeing with your statement that more people should chose abortion as the world is overpopulated and that we are "killing our planet"? Is that not tge point if a debate? You say something, someone doesn't agree and feels strongly on the subject so uses references from their own life to back up their beliefs

Well you are putting words in my mouth ,because I have never said more people should choose abortion.

on a separate note we are most defiantly killed our planet which has a lot of factors including overpopulation .

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[lynn amber]

It's all well saying about adoption, but children could be stuck in care? shoved to and from foster homes etc...Not to mention wondering why there parents didn't want them x

Agree :-D

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[lynn amber]

what annoys me most is unfit mothers that choose alcohol, drugs and men over their children or drug addicts that not only have their first child taken from them but go on to have more which are also taken away from them. one of those people is my sister. my mum adopted her first child and he now has a happy, fulfilled life. he was taking away before he was 1 into care and was put in my mums care by the time he was 1 1/2 and is now 8. we know he still remembers being neglected due to the way he reacts to certain situations. i think its disgusting that people can bring a baby into the world when they've been taking drugs throughout the pregnancy resulting in the baby being born an addict. my sisters 2nd baby was in neonatal care for weeks so that she could be weened off the drugs, if thats even the correct word to use. she has now found a lovely family that has adopted her and my mum recieves 1 letter a year from her new mummy and daddy informing her of how she is getting on in life. if nobody was to have abortions and every 'unwanted' baby was given up for adoption, there would be a far less adoption rate due to the amount of babies waiting for new families resulting in a higher rate of foster children with no family. my opinion is that id rather end an unwanted pregnancy than knoe that my baby was out there with noone to love it and give it the life i couldnt. iv had one termination, and it was not a form of contraceptive as i was on contraceptive and unluckily fell within that small percent of chance of falling pregnant. i never judge people on these situations anymore but have the utmost respect for other peoples opinions and views on the matter and everyone should be supported regardless of their choice

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Agree :-D

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[CHarvey]

Agree :-D

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The adoption system needs to be overhauled. My friend is desperate to adopt but is not allowed..why? Because she has ME, they don't take into account that her husband does not work and they are both wealthy enough to care for a child and have a whole lifetime of love to give.
I have another friend who has battled to adopt for 6 years ! Just been matched with a little boy, a boy who has been in care since he was 18 months and is now 6 years old! If only they hadn't felt the need to stop him adopting due to his sexual orientation then that little boy could have been with him since he was 18 months

 

[mm29]

What do you mean your friend can't adopt because she has you??


I have a friend that fosters and the care system is a bloody mess

 

[lydia c]

My mums adopted and it still affects her to this day ! The feeling of rejection plus her adopted father used to sexually abuse both her and my aunt , adoption isn't that easy as my mum still wanders why ? her and her sister when the parents went on To have more kids x

 

[Claire-x]

What do you mean your friend can't adopt because she has you??


I have a friend that fosters and the care system is a bloody mess

I think that's M.E - the illness. Sorry if I'm wrong x

 

[CHarvey]

What do you mean your friend can't adopt because she has you??


I have a friend that fosters and the care system is a bloody mess

M.E..auto correct lol

 

[lydia c]

My friend wanted to foster but wasn't allowed as her two kids share a room and the dad helps bath their kids , they found it insulting as her husband wouldn't be allowed alone with the child x

 

[CHarvey]

My mums adopted and it still affects her to this day ! The feeling of rejection plus her adopted father used to sexually abuse both her and my aunt , adoption isn't that easy as my mum still wanders why ? her and her sister when the parents went on To have more kids x

But if your mums parents hadn't chosen adoption, and instead had aborted, then where would you be? Xx

 

[mm29]

Oh never thought of that,
It's a bloody shame when people arnt allowed to adopt for crazy reasons!
That's a whole other thread..

 

[lydia c]

Yeh I say that to her if you weren't here and living in England we wouldn't be here ( she's Canadian ) but she finds it hard to be close to me and my sister as she says she didn't really have a mum , they were not nice bit one thing she is a brilliant grandmother Xx

 

[CHarvey]

Yeh I say that to her if you weren't here and living in England we wouldn't be here ( she's Canadian ) but she finds it hard to be close to me and my sister as she says she didn't really have a mum , they were not nice bit one thing she is a brilliant grandmother Xx

The adoption process needs to be privatised. In the USA they have "open adoption" this means that you still have contact with your birth parents whilst being raised by you adoptive family. X

 

[mm29]

The adoption process needs to be privatised. In the USA they have "open adoption" this means that you still have contact with your birth parents whilst being raised by you adoptive family. X

Do you think that's a good idea?

 

[CHarvey]

Do you think that's a good idea?

For the largest part yes. Of course there would be issues. I think the teen years would be hard, but with support from adoption councillors it can and does work x