Hi Roxi
I’m really sorry to hear of your daughter’s struggles.
Firstly, you want to encourage the skin to heal and recover as quickly as possible. Covering up with make-up can be helpful - ideally use a treatment product daily as well as a cover up.
A thin smear of sudocreme at night is a good habit. The zinc promotes skin healing.
A multi-vit supplement will also be helpful - being under stress increases your nutritional requirements. And probiotics are also fabulous for skin healing - maybe a daily yoghurt or a supplement.
Bio oil, etc, isn’t quite as wonderful as people hope. You’d be better off buying a tub of evening primrose or borage oil or star flower oil health food supplement intended for oral consumption and piercing one and massaging the oil in. You only need a thin smear, so just one or two capsules a day - use a normal moisturiser over the top. E45 is lovely stuff.
Finally you can buy medicinal silicone which is wonderful. You can buy sheets that you apply, and also an ointment. It isn’t appropriate for me to go into details on this forum, but if you Google you will see that it’s often recommended for C section scars. If there are any patches of really damaged skin this might be an option.
Next year, if the scars look noticeable you could consider Environ’s body products, they are wincingly expensive but rather amazing. We’ve had fabulous results even with very old scarring.
It’s important to use a sun block over the scars this year. A mineral based makeup will also double up as a sun block. Sun exposure is important for mental health and well being, so it’s better to use a sun block skin product rather than stay in the shade or wearing coverup .clothes.
Regarding cosmetics. Jane Iredale do a product called disappear and it works really well. We use it to cover tattoos. It’s also handy for covering spots. The best way to cover is by using a mineral powder foundation, pressed on with a sponge and then apply concealer (JI disappear) with a brush and build up in layers finishing with a spritz of liquid to set the powder (there are setting sprays that you can buy but actually you can use any liquid - rose water, toner or just Evian). You need a brush as fingers just wipe it off. You can press the product into the skin with a brush.
Here is a Facebook link to an application video
You might want to experiment with fake tan and bronzers. It’s usually recommended that you don’t show too much attention to self harming scars because you don’t want to “reward” the behaviour. It’s really difficult to find the balance between nurturing your child and supporting them to unlearn harmful habits. Focussing on fake tan might help you stay “normal” rather than disappearing down the rabbit hole. A bronzer has light reflecting particles. They help to minimise bumpy skin and textural issues. So you might want a combo of fake tan, plus a bit of concealer touch up, followed with a slick of bronzer for maximum red carpet glow.
One last tip that might help. Has your daughter tried drawing on her skin with red marker pens when she feels the urge to self harm? I don’t want to give advice, but I do know this tip has helped release the pressure cooker of stress for some people.
I have some suicide attempt scars. They’ve healed pretty well. I’m ok with them although I think they distress other people. I find them very grounding, they acknowledge my journey both looking back at where I’ve been and my recovery. In an odd way I draw strength from them because they remind me I can survive something that felt overwhelming at the time. It would feel odd to have no physical trace of that part of my life.
Try not to worry about how your daughter will feel about her scars in the future. They are not something to for her to feel shame about. I have a few clients with self harming scars and they regard them with the same bittersweet pride that I feel about my own scars. I imagine that it’s difficult to understand how you can look at a tangible reminder of a time when we were properly “messed up” and not feel regret and pain but accepting yourself and moving forward with your life means embracing your history and making peace with it, it’s really tough being a parent, no-one tells you how painful it can be. But on the upside, when your children overcome adversity I think it makes your pride and joy all the sweeter.