Camouflage make up

[Roxi]

Hi can anyone recommend a good camouflage makeup for covering self harm scars.
It’s my daughters (16) prom in July and she’s got a lovely dress with a slit up the side. She’s got a lot of self harm scars on her thighs, so ideally we’d like to cover them.
I had a look at a charity called Changing Faces but it seems there’s a long wait list so I’ve probably left it too late.

Thank you for any help

 

[RosieR]

I am so happy to learn that your daughter has recovered from her self harming enough to be prepared to wear a dress with a slit. Could it be that there's no need to cover them 100%?

If the scarring is not too bad have you considered a good quality thick concealer or long lasting high cover foundation? They could be used at a push and then set with translucent powder.

I trained in cosmetic camouflage using Covermark products and found them to be very good. Time has gone by and I now see that they do a leg makeup which could make application simpler.
You may not have a lot of time until July but you can learn how to do it between you and your daughter. The videos on the Changing Faces website, give you some guidance on the appropriate tools and methods depending on the sizes of the areas to be concealed.

I hope you get fixed up and can start practising soon.
If it helps to know this my friends' daughter did the same to herself and now 6 years later her scars are hardly visible, she was lucky to have a lovely mum like you by her side.

 

[Roxi]

I am so happy to learn that your daughter has recovered from her self harming enough to be prepared to wear a dress with a slit. Could it be that there's no need to cover them 100%?

If the scarring is not too bad have you considered a good quality thick concealer or long lasting high cover foundation? They could be used at a push and then set with translucent powder.

I trained in cosmetic camouflage using Covermark products and found them to be very good. Time has gone by and I now see that they do a leg makeup which could make application simpler.
You may not have a lot of time until July but you can learn how to do it between you and your daughter. The videos on the Changing Faces website, give you some guidance on the appropriate tools and methods depending on the sizes of the areas to be concealed.

I hope you get fixed up and can start practising soon.
If it helps to know this my friends' daughter did the same to herself and now 6 years later her scars are hardly visible, she was lucky to have a lovely mum like you by her side.

Thank you so much. Unfortunately she’s still very much in the midst of it all and there is significant scarring, but I am so pleased she still wants to wear a dress like that.

I’ll have a look at the Covermark products, she has said she will wear tights otherwise, but ideally bare legs would look much better. She’s also got scarring to her arms, but we’ve bought a cover up too for her to wear, she’s very goth so the morticia Addams look is the vibe

 

[TheDuchess]

Hi Roxi

I’m really sorry to hear of your daughter’s struggles.

Firstly, you want to encourage the skin to heal and recover as quickly as possible. Covering up with make-up can be helpful - ideally use a treatment product daily as well as a cover up.

A thin smear of sudocreme at night is a good habit. The zinc promotes skin healing.

A multi-vit supplement will also be helpful - being under stress increases your nutritional requirements. And probiotics are also fabulous for skin healing - maybe a daily yoghurt or a supplement.

Bio oil, etc, isn’t quite as wonderful as people hope. You’d be better off buying a tub of evening primrose or borage oil or star flower oil health food supplement intended for oral consumption and piercing one and massaging the oil in. You only need a thin smear, so just one or two capsules a day - use a normal moisturiser over the top. E45 is lovely stuff.

Finally you can buy medicinal silicone which is wonderful. You can buy sheets that you apply, and also an ointment. It isn’t appropriate for me to go into details on this forum, but if you Google you will see that it’s often recommended for C section scars. If there are any patches of really damaged skin this might be an option.

Next year, if the scars look noticeable you could consider Environ’s body products, they are wincingly expensive but rather amazing. We’ve had fabulous results even with very old scarring.

It’s important to use a sun block over the scars this year. A mineral based makeup will also double up as a sun block. Sun exposure is important for mental health and well being, so it’s better to use a sun block skin product rather than stay in the shade or wearing coverup .clothes.

Regarding cosmetics. Jane Iredale do a product called disappear and it works really well. We use it to cover tattoos. It’s also handy for covering spots. The best way to cover is by using a mineral powder foundation, pressed on with a sponge and then apply concealer (JI disappear) with a brush and build up in layers finishing with a spritz of liquid to set the powder (there are setting sprays that you can buy but actually you can use any liquid - rose water, toner or just Evian). You need a brush as fingers just wipe it off. You can press the product into the skin with a brush.

Here is a Facebook link to an application video

You might want to experiment with fake tan and bronzers. It’s usually recommended that you don’t show too much attention to self harming scars because you don’t want to “reward” the behaviour. It’s really difficult to find the balance between nurturing your child and supporting them to unlearn harmful habits. Focussing on fake tan might help you stay “normal” rather than disappearing down the rabbit hole. A bronzer has light reflecting particles. They help to minimise bumpy skin and textural issues. So you might want a combo of fake tan, plus a bit of concealer touch up, followed with a slick of bronzer for maximum red carpet glow.

One last tip that might help. Has your daughter tried drawing on her skin with red marker pens when she feels the urge to self harm? I don’t want to give advice, but I do know this tip has helped release the pressure cooker of stress for some people.

I have some suicide attempt scars. They’ve healed pretty well. I’m ok with them although I think they distress other people. I find them very grounding, they acknowledge my journey both looking back at where I’ve been and my recovery. In an odd way I draw strength from them because they remind me I can survive something that felt overwhelming at the time. It would feel odd to have no physical trace of that part of my life.

Try not to worry about how your daughter will feel about her scars in the future. They are not something to for her to feel shame about. I have a few clients with self harming scars and they regard them with the same bittersweet pride that I feel about my own scars. I imagine that it’s difficult to understand how you can look at a tangible reminder of a time when we were properly “messed up” and not feel regret and pain but accepting yourself and moving forward with your life means embracing your history and making peace with it, it’s really tough being a parent, no-one tells you how painful it can be. But on the upside, when your children overcome adversity I think it makes your pride and joy all the sweeter.

 

[Roxi]

Hi Roxi

I’m really sorry to hear of your daughter’s struggles.

Firstly, you want to encourage the skin to heal and recover as quickly as possible. Covering up with make-up can be helpful - ideally use a treatment product daily as well as a cover up.

A thin smear of sudocreme at night is a good habit. The zinc promotes skin healing.

A multi-vit supplement will also be helpful - being under stress increases your nutritional requirements. And probiotics are also fabulous for skin healing - maybe a daily yoghurt or a supplement.

Bio oil, etc, isn’t quite as wonderful as people hope. You’d be better off buying a tub of evening primrose or borage oil or star flower oil health food supplement intended for oral consumption and piercing one and massaging the oil in. You only need a thin smear, so just one or two capsules a day - use a normal moisturiser over the top. E45 is lovely stuff.

Finally you can buy medicinal silicone which is wonderful. You can buy sheets that you apply, and also an ointment. It isn’t appropriate for me to go into details on this forum, but if you Google you will see that it’s often recommended for C section scars. If there are any patches of really damaged skin this might be an option.

Next year, if the scars look noticeable you could consider Environ’s body products, they are wincingly expensive but rather amazing. We’ve had fabulous results even with very old scarring.

It’s important to use a sun block over the scars this year. A mineral based makeup will also double up as a sun block. Sun exposure is important for mental health and well being, so it’s better to use a sun block skin product rather than stay in the shade or wearing coverup .clothes.

Regarding cosmetics. Jane Iredale do a product called disappear and it works really well. We use it to cover tattoos. It’s also handy for covering spots. The best way to cover is by using a mineral powder foundation, pressed on with a sponge and then apply concealer (JI disappear) with a brush and build up in layers finishing with a spritz of liquid to set the powder (there are setting sprays that you can buy but actually you can use any liquid - rose water, toner or just Evian). You need a brush as fingers just wipe it off. You can press the product into the skin with a brush.

Here is a Facebook link to an application video

You might want to experiment with fake tan and bronzers. It’s usually recommended that you don’t show too much attention to self harming scars because you don’t want to “reward” the behaviour. It’s really difficult to find the balance between nurturing your child and supporting them to unlearn harmful habits. Focussing on fake tan might help you stay “normal” rather than disappearing down the rabbit hole. A bronzer has light reflecting particles. They help to minimise bumpy skin and textural issues. So you might want a combo of fake tan, plus a bit of concealer touch up, followed with a slick of bronzer for maximum red carpet glow.

One last tip that might help. Has your daughter tried drawing on her skin with red marker pens when she feels the urge to self harm? I don’t want to give advice, but I do know this tip has helped release the pressure cooker of stress for some people.

I have some suicide attempt scars. They’ve healed pretty well. I’m ok with them although I think they distress other people. I find them very grounding, they acknowledge my journey both looking back at where I’ve been and my recovery. In an odd way I draw strength from them because they remind me I can survive something that felt overwhelming at the time. It would feel odd to have no physical trace of that part of my life.

Try not to worry about how your daughter will feel about her scars in the future. They are not something to for her to feel shame about. I have a few clients with self harming scars and they regard them with the same bittersweet pride that I feel about my own scars. I imagine that it’s difficult to understand how you can look at a tangible reminder of a time when we were properly “messed up” and not feel regret and pain but accepting yourself and moving forward with your life means embracing your history and making peace with it, it’s really tough being a parent, no-one tells you how painful it can be. But on the upside, when your children overcome adversity I think it makes your pride and joy all the sweeter.

Thank you so much, that’s all really helpful. We’ve been using bio oil, so I shall swap to one of your other recommendations.

My daughter has been in therapy for 2 years and on medication for 1 - also had suicide attempts. She’s tried all the tricks regarding self harm, but nothing else seems to help. I had a brief stage of very superficial harming when I was younger so I can relate to the feeling of needing to release.

She’s not normally bothered by the scars, but she just wants to feel extra special for prom. This is a major step for her as the school has been a huge part of her trauma, so actually being at prom is a celebration of her leaving that crap behind. She won’t use fake tan as she’s lily white and likes the goth look. Think Morticia Addams going to prom….

I really appreciate your Lengthy reply, I will read through again later when I’m not working. Thank you.

 

[Rilede]

I would suggest finding a reputable Hypnotherapist. I am sure that they can help her. There are also other holistic methods that can help with the scars
Good Luck