Friend's jealousy

[Nailedit15]

I have been training,learning and practicing for over two years. I breathe nails pretty much. Research every night watch videos every day. Its the only thing I have ever felt happy doing. I want to Then go on to have my own salon. I do have a small business working from home and sometimes mobile all my clients are word of mouth too. I worked really hard to get where I am etc its been a long year started training in extensions a year ago but gel polish two year ago. I didn't jump straight into nails I found out what was professional what wasn't etc.

Anyway at the time when I started my business of my friends did not really support me in the slightest. We think it was the green eyed monster but it's not my fault. You reap what you sow. This friend is finding it hard being on benefits and sick of struggling with money but hasn't tried a job so now she wants to start up doing nails but mainly beauty. No real passion for doing nails as she said it's just to get a bit of money to keep her going.

This has really annoyed me because I don't do nails for the money i do nails because I have a passion for it. Her thing is beauty and I feel like she's now acting like it's her passion. When I have let her practice on me and in the beginning told her things here and there cause she's going on training beginning of next year so thought would show her my way of things which I regret because I worked hard and had no one help me. It just feels like she couldn't see me doing what I love she had to do the same. I don't see why she couldn't have done the courses for beauty and make up which is what she wants for the price of her nail course. I know I sound like a spoiled brat but it just maddens me it's to earn a bit of cash on the side. She has no clue at all about what she's doing. She hasn't got a stable mental state or environment to be successful.

Sorry for the long bratty rant I want her to be successful but I don't want my one and only passion to be taken and used to earn a bit of cash. Yeah money from doing nails can be good money once established but as I said it's not about the money for me it's about the passion of creating from stubby or plain nails to seeing the clients reaction to beautiful created nails.

 

[Redduck]

Imitation is the biggest form of flattery. She obviously sees you doing something that you clearly love and are good at and she wants to be the same.

What she doesn't see is the hours you've put into your business, the passion, the hard slog of becoming successful.

Encourage her but limit it to where you feel comfortable. If you don't want to be part of her training then don't give her hints and tips. I'd also question your friendship with her as it sounds like it may have run it's course.

When I started out one particular therapist really helped me and to this day she is a very close friend. I pay this back by helping people who are new to the business or training but I only give the help that I know I can give willingly.

The people who share our passion will fly regardless of our help but it's nice to be able to help in some small way.

There will always be plenty of people who aren't going into the business for the same reason as yourself but it doesn't necessarily mean that they are wrong. Some will cut corners and mess at it and won't succeed. Some will succeed but that's their battle and I wouldn't waste time and energy on it.

 

[sammi010]

I would take it as a compliment! She's seen your passion and how happy it makes you, she's seen you grow and gain sucess. She's the one that envys you and wants the same.

You've done it the right way, you know the hard work needed to even just get the basics right never mind the more advanced stuff that sets you apart from your competition. If she doesn't see that what's needed or isn't willing to put in that work she's going to struggle to attract and retain clients and it will fizzle out.

If she does crack on and get the bug then you have inspired someone, isn't that a nice thing?

 

[AcidPerm]

?..This friend is finding it hard being on benefits and sick of struggling with money but hasn't tried a job so now she wants to start up doing nails but mainly beauty. No real passion for doing nails as she said it's just to get a bit of money to keep her going. This has really annoyed me because I don't do nails for the money i do nails because I have a passion for it. Her thing is beauty and I feel like she's now acting like it's her passion.
... so thought would show her my way of things which I regret because I worked hard and had no one help me.
...I don't see why she couldn't have done the courses for beauty and make up which is what she wants for the price of her nail course. I know I sound like a spoiled brat but it just maddens me it's to earn a bit of cash on the side. She has no clue at all about what she's doing. She hasn't got a stable mental state or environment to be successful.

Oh dear, unfortunately you're the one who appears to be the green eyed monster in this scenario.

What is wrong with wanting to come off benefits and earn some money? I certainly don't work just for the love of hairdressing. I like to be paid for my efforts.

Being successful shouldn't be at the expense of your friends.
In fact, from the way you describe her, you obviously feel rather smug and superior to her and don't actually value her friendship at all. Maybe you should quietly stop being her 'friend' and just concentrate on building your business?

 

[Nailedit15]

Yeah that's the thing I gave spare books things to train with not once picked up. I don't think she realises how hard it can be! I just feel just now It's more money making than actual passion. I don't mind at all helping out if I knew the person was serious! That's true I just feel slightly disappointed because I have a massive passion for them and just feel it's money maker and she's not taking it serious as me!

 

[Cathi44]

I have to say, I agree with AcidPerm. You say you haven't had the support and have done this on your own. So you know how it feels. How about showing some support for your friend. If she wants to turn her life around surely, as her friend, you should be applauding that and giving her the support and help she needs?
You say "She has no clue at all about what she's doing. She hasn't got a stable mental state or environment to be successful." Well once she's had her training and is qualified she will know what's she's doing. But to say she's unstable and can not be successful, that doesn't sound like much of a friendship to me. Perhaps she'd be better off without your 'friendship' (and so would you) so she can surround herself with positive people who will encourage and help her. If it turns out she hasn't got the passion or ability for it, she won't make it through her training or build a business, so no threat to you. I'd concentrate on building your business and, if you can't support her, let your friend head off and do her thing, whatever that ends up being. You'll come across lots of people in competition with you, and those who don't operate to your standards or abilities. If you spend too much time worrying about them you'll drive yourself bonkers. Be happy and confident that you're doing the best you possibly can, and concentrate on your own business and reputation. It also doesn't hurt to be kind and helpful, even if you can see the flaws.... Karma.......

 

[Nailedit15]

Oh dear, unfortunately you're the one who appears to be the green eyed monster in this scenario.

What is wrong with wanting to come off benefits and earn some money? I certainly don't work just for the love of hairdressing. I like to be paid for my efforts.

Being successful shouldn't be at the expense of your friends.
In fact, from the way you describe her, you obviously feel rather smug and superior to her and don't actually value her friendship at all. Maybe you should quietly
stop being her 'friend' and just concentrate on building your business?

Actually no am not the green eyed monster because I feel annoyed that I helped someone who couldn't be happy for me when I started up and got nothing but attitude!

Second of all it's not about coming off benefits it's to earn along side with it without declaring it. To me that's not being passionate about developing a business. Yes she can legally earn so much and benefits would be reduced by what she earned but she isn't interested at all about doing it the hard way. It's frustrating to watch someone not go by the books when I have done nothing but research what needs done before I set up. I had no one help me. I offered help on a plate because I thought she was serious about it but it's just a money maker. By all means don't work for free but if someone is spending a lot of money to get into the business at least do it proper for the love of it.


My success certainly isn't the expense of my friends but I would like to be supported not snarly comments because of jealousy and to make me feel like rubbish for chasing what I wanted.

Am far from feeling smug or superior. I used to be where she was I had spent hours with her talking to sort things out. Pointing her in the right direction. I take my profession serious and feel that she doesn't which is up to her. I feel like all the things I gave and advice was met with a closed door. I want to see her succeed and build a business on the things she loves not because she sees others doing something. I would help anyone who was passionate about anything to succeed in fact I have even put word out about her setting up before I knew it was underhand. The fact it's being done on the side has upset me. Anyone can do a course and put on nails. It takes hard work to set up a business and do it right

 

[vickychicky_]

I feel for you, I really do! I've been in a similar situation myself! It's not jealously or 'green eyed monster-ness' [emoji23] it's complete frustration! Sometimes you just need a good rant! Xx

 

[Cathi44]

Actually no am not the green eyed monster because I feel annoyed that I helped someone who couldn't be happy for me when I started up and got nothing but attitude!

Second of all it's not about coming off benefits it's to earn along side with it without declaring it. To me that's not being passionate about developing a business. Yes she can legally earn so much and benefits would be reduced by what she earned but she isn't interested at all about doing it the hard way. It's frustrating to watch someone not go by the books when I have done nothing but research what needs done before I set up. I had no one help me. I offered help on a plate because I thought she was serious about it but it's just a money maker. By all means don't work for free but if someone is spending a lot of money to get into the business at least do it proper for the love of it.


My success certainly isn't the expense of my friends but I would like to be supported not snarly comments because of jealousy and to make me feel like rubbish for chasing what I wanted.

Am far from feeling smug or superior. I used to be where she was I had spent hours with her talking to sort things out. Pointing her in the right direction. I take my profession serious and feel that she doesn't which is up to her. I feel like all the things I gave and advice was met with a closed door. I want to see her succeed and build a business on the things she loves not because she sees others doing something. I would help anyone who was passionate about anything to succeed in fact I have even put word out about her setting up before I knew it was underhand. The fact it's being done on the side has upset me. Anyone can do a course and put on nails. It takes hard work to set up a business and do it right

Actually Nailedit15, I do get where you're coming from. So apologies if my previous response sounded harsh. But.... I think your friendship is done. I think you'll end up resenting her whatever she ends up doing (and from what you've said above, you have given her help and guidance) If she really is just in it to make some quick money she'll very quickly find out that 'aint going to happen. Once she realises how much time, money and effort is required, for very little short term reward, she may want to re-think her new 'career'. So exactly as I said before.... loosen ties with the friend and concentrate on your business. And if it's making you feel like this, don't entertain any more conversations or give any more of your time to helping her with it (you'll just find it drains your positivity and becomes a burden on you)

 

[Nailedit15]

Actually Nailedit15, I do get where you're coming from. So apologies if my previous response sounded harsh. But.... I think your friendship is done. I think you'll end up resenting her whatever she ends up doing (and from what you've said above, you have given her help and guidance) If she really is just in it to make some quick money she'll very quickly find out that 'aint going to happen. Once she realises how much time, money and effort is required, for very little short term reward, she may want to re-think her new 'career'. So exactly as I said before.... loosen ties with the friend and concentrate on your business. And if it's making you feel like this, don't entertain any more conversations or give any more of your time to helping her with it (you'll just find it drains your positivity and becomes a burden on you)

I wouldn't mind so much if it was done right! TBH I think it's kinda done too. I have made so much effort in this and personal. When I got the snide remarks I met them with well if they worked hard for it they do deserve to be where they are at and have said I will help as much as I know. It just hurts and annoys me that am really passionate about it and she agreed wanted to do it the proper way to now doing it on the side.

I think that's my problem is I do feel drained more than anything. I do understand lots of people do it just for money in this business and takes easy way. I think it a thorn on my side because it's close to home. It just boggles me how she isn't doing the beauty side first when that's what she wanted to do. It doesn't come easy at all. I have showed her all the hard work and practice it takes behind the scenes.

 

[laurakate]

It sounds like the issue here runs deeper than nails/beauty etc.

Some friendships get to the point of no return and that's ok. I walked away from a 16 year friendship this year because I couldn't handle the persons attitude towards me any more. It takes courage to do it but sometimes it is worth the emotional relief of calling it a day with someone. If the friendship doesn't feel genuine and pleasurable any more, it might be time for you to part ways.