Hi, this is the very first post I've put up in these forums, but I just had to say something to you, Yolanda. A very similar thing happened to me, the father of my daughter was a complete waster, who couldn't keep his hands off other women. I found myself pregnant too, and very quickly made up my mind I was going to go it alone (very scary thought, though, especially as I lived 170 miles from my home town and family at the time) I told him about the baby, and he made all the right noises about doing the right thing and caring for us, blah, blah, blah.... then decides that it's too much and off he went to his latest conquest, only to move her into town, so I saw them around all the time. He even tried to get our friends on his side, but luckily they saw him for what he was, and told him where to go....he he
I had to move into lodgings, as I couldn't stay in our accomodation. I hired a van, and took all my furniture up to my parents and put it into storage. I stayed down south, until 3 weeks before my baby was due, left work, and moved back up to my parents. Lived with them for a while (my daughter had big problems with her hips at birth, so it seemed best to stay with them) then moved into our own place. Ever since then, barring some short lived relationships, I've been on my own. My daughters father has ever paid a penny towards her, nor would I want him to, then he would have no claim on her - I decided that when she was born. She has met her father once - they got on fine, but his girlfriend (the latest in a very long line) decided she was jealous, so he ended the meeting, and has never bothered since. My daughter is now nearly 18, and, despite all her problems (she has ADD) she wants to be a lawyer, and is working extremely hard towards that goal. I have found it really tough going at times, but, Yolanda (and I'm sure everyone would agree) we are women, and you suddenly seem to get this reserve of strength from somewhere, when it is your child that's involved. Her father broke my heart, big time, but every time I found myself thinking depressing thoughts, I consciously made myself think 'Sue, you've got far more important things to think about now - not that blo*dy waster' and I have to agree with you Yolanda about the missing him in bed bit cos he knew all the right buttons to press....lol but you CAN do it, hunny, I've been reading what all the other ladies have put, and from what they know of you, you're a good woman, and you've got the guts to stand up for yourself and your children. Be strong hunny - it's hard....hell, I know, I've been there, but it'll all pay off in the end - you'll come out stronger, wiser and all the better for this experience, doesn't seem like it now, but you will.
I'm not fantastic with words, and I'm not really sure I've said this all right or even have said all I want to say, but you have all your friends behind you, and supporting you all the way. You don't need this loser, be strong, fight for your children, and for yourself.
I'm thinking of you, and sending you loads of hugs
love and best wishes
Sue xxxxxxxxxxx
I had to move into lodgings, as I couldn't stay in our accomodation. I hired a van, and took all my furniture up to my parents and put it into storage. I stayed down south, until 3 weeks before my baby was due, left work, and moved back up to my parents. Lived with them for a while (my daughter had big problems with her hips at birth, so it seemed best to stay with them) then moved into our own place. Ever since then, barring some short lived relationships, I've been on my own. My daughters father has ever paid a penny towards her, nor would I want him to, then he would have no claim on her - I decided that when she was born. She has met her father once - they got on fine, but his girlfriend (the latest in a very long line) decided she was jealous, so he ended the meeting, and has never bothered since. My daughter is now nearly 18, and, despite all her problems (she has ADD) she wants to be a lawyer, and is working extremely hard towards that goal. I have found it really tough going at times, but, Yolanda (and I'm sure everyone would agree) we are women, and you suddenly seem to get this reserve of strength from somewhere, when it is your child that's involved. Her father broke my heart, big time, but every time I found myself thinking depressing thoughts, I consciously made myself think 'Sue, you've got far more important things to think about now - not that blo*dy waster' and I have to agree with you Yolanda about the missing him in bed bit cos he knew all the right buttons to press....lol but you CAN do it, hunny, I've been reading what all the other ladies have put, and from what they know of you, you're a good woman, and you've got the guts to stand up for yourself and your children. Be strong hunny - it's hard....hell, I know, I've been there, but it'll all pay off in the end - you'll come out stronger, wiser and all the better for this experience, doesn't seem like it now, but you will.
I'm not fantastic with words, and I'm not really sure I've said this all right or even have said all I want to say, but you have all your friends behind you, and supporting you all the way. You don't need this loser, be strong, fight for your children, and for yourself.
I'm thinking of you, and sending you loads of hugs
love and best wishes
Sue xxxxxxxxxxx
