Help and Advice Needed!


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Well-Known Member
Dec 16, 2003
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I am in desperate need of some advice. I feel as though I am stuck in a rutt and I don't know what to do about it!

I am a qualified nail tech but at the moment just mostly do friends and a couple of regular clients in the evenings and weekend.

I currently have a full time job organising team building events. I work for a very small company (there are 3 of us!) and I am feeling more and more unmotivated by the day. The future of the company is unknown at the moment and I know that I need to get out. However, the thought of getting a new job in the same industry really doesn't motivate me either! And so I don't know what to do!

I am really enjoying my work with nails and it has given me a taster of the industry and I now know that I would like to develop my skills further. I have seen a full time course at my local college - for complimentary therapy. My dream is to one day study massage, relexology, nutrition etc etc, but I know that part time, this could take me years! This college course covers it all and I could be qualified in less than a year which would be amazing!

The only problem is, after the worst couple of months in my life so far (my financee of 4 years left me because he decided he just didn't want the committment anymore!), I have just taken over the mortgage on our house. Therefore, going back to college full time is a big no no as it is financially impossible.

I am so frustrated that money is preventing me from achieving my dreams. And so I am totally confused as to what to do next. Sorry for unloading all of my stresses here but I am just feeling totally lost and alone at the moment and thought that you wise fellow geeks may have some words of wisdom for me!

Any advice would be hugely appreciated. xxx
Hi Caz
Sorry to hear about your troubles, but you are not alone. There are many of us on this board who have had life changing problems. My ex left me when I was six months pregnant with our third child, and gave me huge grief financially. A large chunk of my life has disappeared into the midst of court cases and raising children alone. Anyway I am very very fortunate to now be remarried to a wonderfully supportive man and slowly we build a new life together.

Getting back to you(!), I wonder what advice I can give you? Life does not always run the path we would like it to and sometimes our end goal can seem at the end of a never ending tunnel. You will need to "retrench" for a period of time if you understand what I mean. Now is not quite the time for major changes until you can cope with the changes that have already happened. A dead end job is very frustrating but you will be able to move on at some point. Maybe a way will appear to take the college course at some point in the future. If not part time courses, although lengthy, will get you there, its just the patience you will need. Take comfort from those around you that care about you - your family and friends are invaluable at this time. I had so much support which I very gratefully accepted, and I felt empowered to get on with my life and make changes along the way.

Good luck and you know we are always here, just to listen and support even if we don't have the answers!:biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
Thanks for your response Deb. It really touched me. I am happy to say that I am coming out of the other side of the dark tunnel and I think that is why I feel the need to change. Having things as they are at the moment is not only frustrating but it also reminds me too much of the life that I used to live with my ex.

I know that I want to do these courses but I guess patience has never been my strong point! When I decide I want to do something, I want to do it NOW!

I am really pleased to hear that after all of your troubles, you are happy in you're life again. It also proves to me that it is possible to emerge the other side stronger.

Thanks so much for your advice. Lets hope I can do the patience thing!! :rolleyes:

Hi Caz

I did my courses part time firstly in the evenings and as then as an infill student during the day, over a three year period. Although this seems a long time it has flown by. Also on the course that I did (HNC) you can start practicing (by that I mean charging as a professional) after you have completed each unit. I started with swedish body massage, then thought I'd do Aromatherapy. This took me a year but then I could start in business. I loved facial massage so much that the tutor persuaded me to come back to do the facial course, which I did during the day as an infill student, one full day per week for one semester. I could then add facials to my repetoir. And so it went on, until I completed the whole course.
What I am saying is that as a part time student your end goal takes longer but you can become a therapist in certain specialities as you go along.
I also think that it benefited me to learn in this way as I was able to research much more than I would have done if I had studied full time. I think that it has made me a better therapist for doing it this way.

So perhaps you can start slowly and build up your skills one by one.

Whatever you do I wish you the best of luck. I certainly don't regret a moment....
My pleasure if a few words can help! I really echo Jane's thoughts on part time study. I originally qualified as a beauty therapist after three years full time study, but have added to my skill base since on a part time basis. Now that I have my work and children to also fill my time, I find a part time course is more than enough to cope with. It enables me to give of my best (hopefully) to each course and there is always more to learn than you realise. My Indian Head course recently meant that I also had to redo business studies, anatomy and physiology, health and safety etc etc in order to gain the qualification! I had no idea quite how much I was taking on!

One thought about your circumstances; you talk about wanting to change your life, would there be any benefit in moving house? ie could you downgrade slightly, have a smaller mortgage, less financial starin if you see what I mean? Just a thought, but of course moving is horrendously stressful ,so you do need to be emotionally strong to cope with that!
I know it feels like its the endof the world at the moment, but i think maybe this is the way you will change your life for the better. You say at the oment your life reminds you of everything about your Ex, well then step buy step perhaps you should work out a way to make small changes to get yourself away from that existence.

It may take you a while to do it, but you now have a goal in life to become a fulltime nail tech, so just start off slowly and do a part time, evening or day course as others have suggested, then when your circumstances change a little you can then gradually build it up to what you want to do. Good luck in your new venture, and you know you have loads of help and support on here,

Chin up and don't give up.:D
Thank you so much for all your support and advice. I feel a bit better already! I know that I have to work on the patience thing and gradually build up my business, and add to my skill as I go along.

Debs, I wish I could downsize my house and my mortgage, but it's only a small one bedroom house and so I couldn't really get much smaller! The only other option would be to move back in with the parents and after 8 years of living away, I don't think I could handle that!!

So, part time courses and a lot of patience it is!!

Thanks again for all of your support. It is so nice and reassuring to know that there are many other people out there in or have been in similar situations, and even though I don't know any of you personally, you are all caring and supportive.

I am so glad I found the Geek Site!! xxx

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