I’ve lost my confidence

[ChristieS]

I’m just wondering what others have done to get out of this, I work in a salon pretty much since qualifying I became best friends with the boss, 7 years later I’m still there but on a rent a chair basis, I used to look forward to doing new things and now I feel like I’ve forgotten how to even be a hairdresser.. I look at old pictures of peoples hair I have done before and I can’t even remember how I did it.. I’m losing clients left right and Center but my “friend” is the one taking all of them.. I can’t go on holiday without losing 1 or 2 to her and I see her doing their hair and it is no different to how I ever did it. I am a lot quieter than my friend and around 3 years ago she introduced a nail technician.. they struck up a strong bond and I felt really pushed out being the quiet one. I know they talk about me behind my back and they also do it infront of clients, I know what you’re all thinking “just leave” I know I should but I just do not have the confidence to go elsewhere I dread work but I’ve become super quiet.. I’m in a serious rut and I just don’t know what to do

 

[ronray]

I’m just wondering what others have done to get out of this, I work in a salon pretty much since qualifying I became best friends with the boss, 7 years later I’m still there but on a rent a chair basis, I used to look forward to doing new things and now I feel like I’ve forgotten how to even be a hairdresser.. I look at old pictures of peoples hair I have done before and I can’t even remember how I did it.. I’m losing clients left right and Center but my “friend” is the one taking all of them.. I can’t go on holiday without losing 1 or 2 to her and I see her doing their hair and it is no different to how I ever did it. I am a lot quieter than my friend and around 3 years ago she introduced a nail technician.. they struck up a strong bond and I felt really pushed out being the quiet one. I know they talk about me behind my back and they also do it infront of clients, I know what you’re all thinking “just leave” I know I should but I just do not have the confidence to go elsewhere I dread work but I’ve become super quiet.. I’m in a serious rut and I just don’t know what to do

What about having a chat with your boss /friend and ask her for feedback. It can be tricky for her to address any issues becaue you're friends. If you volunteer the conversation it will be easier to discuss it. You have the choice whether you want it to be a formal thing or a friendly thing. Maybe even consider going on a refresher course, just to rejog your memory. If you really want to know why clients are leaving, maybe even consider asking for feedback. Do you have any idea why you might be loosing clients? Especially to your friend?
It's not always about how their hair looks with clients. Sometimes it's about the chit chat, or the quiet time, the attention they get, the service they get, the knowledge they get... Being a quieter person myself, when I first started hairdressing I had little confidence, and found it hard to start or hold conversation with people. But I found my passion in hair colouring and its been a game changer. All those years ago I wouldn't even be replying to this message! I wouldn't even answer the salon phone!
But its important to take criticism, and learn from it. Don't always see as a negative, see as an opportunity to be a better version of yourself. It may not even be anything you're doing. I had a situation where my boss was tearing apart my work to clients while I was away frm the salon, and because some people fell for it they then started booking with her.... Majority saw through it and stayed with me, and I've even gained clients because of it. Some people never stay loyal to their hairdressers. As for the the new friendship yiur boss has with the nail tech, there's nothing you can do about that, so you have to accept that people get on with other people too.

 

[ChristieS]

I think over the course of time I realised that I slowly lost the love and enjoyment I had in it, I used to be excited loved learning new things but she never took me to any hair shows because she had been there and done that, never offered to put me on hair courses so that I could improve and learn even more I was fresh from college and I definitely needed and wanted that.. I used to express my interested in this and it never happened so I guess I slowly lost interest and that’s where I started to feel I wasn’t good enough, the friendship isn’t what bothers me everybody has different friends I think it was how I started to be treated after they got close, closing doors to talk behind my back, hearing from other clients that they have been talking about me in a negative way whilst I wasn’t in the salon, I’m definitely quiet but I would do anything for any of my clients and the clients that I do have become really close, I really do need to leave the situation but I need my confidence and drive back, she’s not my boss anymore I just rent a chair because it is close and convenient but I definitely need a change.

 

[ronray]

I think over the course of time I realised that I slowly lost the love and enjoyment I had in it, I used to be excited loved learning new things but she never took me to any hair shows because she had been there and done that, never offered to put me on hair courses so that I could improve and learn even more I was fresh from college and I definitely needed and wanted that.. I used to express my interested in this and it never happened so I guess I slowly lost interest and that’s where I started to feel I wasn’t good enough, the friendship isn’t what bothers me everybody has different friends I think it was how I started to be treated after they got close, closing doors to talk behind my back, hearing from other clients that they have been talking about me in a negative way whilst I wasn’t in the salon, I’m definitely quiet but I would do anything for any of my clients and the clients that I do have become really close, I really do need to leave the situation but I need my confidence and drive back, she’s not my boss anymore I just rent a chair because it is close and convenient but I definitely need a change.

You've answered your own questions here. You need to change your situation, you feel like you need to gain confidence, you want /wanted to go on courses etc. So do it. She won't pay for them, but there's nothing stopping you from doing some yourself. Most hair suppliers have education sessions that are reasonably priced, and they tend to be flexible with payments etc.... Have you thought about going to hair exhibitions? Salon International is amazing for peaking interest, or hairuk it's much the same but on a smaller scale. By building yourself confidence, you will be able to focus more on what you're doing and then will feel comfortable anf confident enough to move on to maybe a different chair rental etc..
One thing I will say though is that in your new venture, whatever it may be.... Don't befriend your boss. Learn from this as you move forward it's very rare that we see a success story when buisness and pleasure mixes.

 

[AcidPerm]

I used to be excited loved learning new things but she never took me to any hair shows because she had been there and done that, never offered to put me on hair courses so that I could improve and learn even more I was fresh from college...

Yes, she’s a poor excuse of a manager because a good manager supports their staff (new & experienced) and keeps them motivated and interested by sending them on training and to shows. Unfortunately, you've got stuck in a rut and become too reliant on her and she’s now taking advantage by hoovering up your clients without a second thought for you.

You’re an amazing woman and not a young teen. You are perfectly wonderful as you are and you don’t need others to mind you, you can choose your own path.

You have to be the change you want to be.

STARTING TODAY.

Start by researching short courses that you can attend. Use Google and see what’s out there. Maybe start with something like a hair up course or even a bridal make-up course just to try something different? Meeting others on a course and talking to them will be good for you.

Don’t ask permission or discuss it with you ‘boss’ as she might try to put you off. Your confidence is clearly low and you’ll be more affected by any negativity at this stage, so feel free to chat here if you want support/feedback.

You’d probably benefit from moving to another salon but if that feels too daunting, try building up your confidence first with baby steps.

Also, read the pinned threads on the Business forum. They have lots of ideas about how to build your business and just reading them will help you think positively. Try this one first. https://www.salongeek.com/threads/more-ways-to-promote-your-business.83160/

Remember:

YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH AND DON’T NEED APPROVAL FROM OTHERS!