carlytaylor1986
Well-Known Member
Hi guys, I've been searching all over the internet for months for answers, but thought you guys on here could help with a personal issue.
I started seeing someone about 8 months ago, moved in 4 months ago and moved back out 2 weeks ago because we were having so many issues. I'd known him for a good few years and we had been on/off throughout our 20s, but nothing ever terrible happened, he was a bit of a commitment phobe and I never felt good enough for him, so we parted mainly on those reasons.
I feel the reasoning behind our issues is that he told me that he's not sure he wants children. Dagger through my heart, as I definitely do, not now, but when I'm around 34/35 (I'm 30 now, he's 31). I can see that I was starting arguments for no reason, perhaps subconsciously, hoping that it'd give me a reason to end it (this is what I have come up with, no way were the arguments a conscious decision). But again, I am not the one to blame 100% because he's not perfect, as I am not.
We have spoken about it time and time again, he says right now he definitely does not want children (and nor do I) and he's not sure if he'll feel any differently in the future, it's not a definite no, but it's not a certainty that he will want children. He said perhaps if our relationship was worked on and we were good and a couple of years down the line when he's changed his working situation (as he's not happy there at the moment) he might feel differently, but then again he might not. It's so confusing about what to do, do I give up all hope and move on or wait around in the hope that he might change his mind? Bearing in mind I have been torturing myself for the past 4/5 months wondering whether I can accept a "maybe" as an answer or not and all we have seemed to do is argue.
Sorry guys, I just need a bit of advice, I have been pondering whether to post on here for a good few weeks now, and feel like I need someone else's pov. Thank you
I started seeing someone about 8 months ago, moved in 4 months ago and moved back out 2 weeks ago because we were having so many issues. I'd known him for a good few years and we had been on/off throughout our 20s, but nothing ever terrible happened, he was a bit of a commitment phobe and I never felt good enough for him, so we parted mainly on those reasons.
I feel the reasoning behind our issues is that he told me that he's not sure he wants children. Dagger through my heart, as I definitely do, not now, but when I'm around 34/35 (I'm 30 now, he's 31). I can see that I was starting arguments for no reason, perhaps subconsciously, hoping that it'd give me a reason to end it (this is what I have come up with, no way were the arguments a conscious decision). But again, I am not the one to blame 100% because he's not perfect, as I am not.
We have spoken about it time and time again, he says right now he definitely does not want children (and nor do I) and he's not sure if he'll feel any differently in the future, it's not a definite no, but it's not a certainty that he will want children. He said perhaps if our relationship was worked on and we were good and a couple of years down the line when he's changed his working situation (as he's not happy there at the moment) he might feel differently, but then again he might not. It's so confusing about what to do, do I give up all hope and move on or wait around in the hope that he might change his mind? Bearing in mind I have been torturing myself for the past 4/5 months wondering whether I can accept a "maybe" as an answer or not and all we have seemed to do is argue.
Sorry guys, I just need a bit of advice, I have been pondering whether to post on here for a good few weeks now, and feel like I need someone else's pov. Thank you