A push in the right direction but which one?

[Bonnie@lashout]

hey ladies,
i dont usually post off topic things on here, but im struggling a bit with some emotions and im not usually the type to blurt it all out to friends.
i have been with my boyfriend for just over a year and i couldnt be happier, we have decided we want to live together, only prob is that i live in Bognor and he lives in Petworth, they are about half and hour away from each other, which isnt the end of the world, but i dont want to move there and he doesnt want to move here and we cant agree on somewhere, everywhere that is a possible place is far to expensive for us. also if i move away thats all my clients gone that i have worked so hard for. even if i get another (better paid) job from my current part time retail one, its too far for me to travel whilst im living here.... i cant get a house without a better job but i cant get a better job without a house.....

i feel bad because i feel like im making all the sacrifice, as he has had his own well established company for over 5 years, and every time we talk about it it no other soloutions come up and i just get upset. i thought that maybe it isnt the right time for us, but then i think its never gonna change,

help and Hugs needed, stress bringing me down

 

[McKendrick22]

Hi there! don't let yourself over think about it all of the time its just going to build up your stress levels and you don't want that to possibly put stress on your relationship.

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we are also looking for a house, however, when we put in a bid for all the ones we've looked at something stops us getting it (it was actually sold before we viewed but weren't told, offers accepted but other couples sign papers..)

Having just finished college in June im really struggling to find a job which doesn't effect my situation of getting a house but i want to contribute with everything which wouldn't be possible at the moment.

I just keep telling myself its not meant to be at the minute and that when something that's really right for us comes up nothing will avoid us getting it like it has before. It will be the same for you, the perfect house will come along that you both go wow this can work for us

Good luck and I hope it all works out for you both.
Vicki xx
Sent from my GT-I9100 using SalonGeek

 

[Tracyjayne]

Can I ask why u can't travel half a hour is not far? X

 

[Pinkbunny28]

Get a house 15 mins from each of the places now. In the middle. You can still keep your clients (and make new ones). Book the far away clients on the same days etc. he can still reach his business. 15 mins is honestly nothing x

 

[FlawlessBeauty]

I agree with Pinkbunny

This way you are both sacrificing a little something, so neither one of you will feel hard done by, but you are gaining a beautiful new home and eachother.

15-30mins isn't bad xx

 

[Bonnie@lashout]

Sorry I forgot to mention that I work half an hour away in the opposite from my house already therefore and hour from him and he works half an hour from his home so even if we met in the middle (which we can't as we live in rural areas and its just fields) its 50 to each others work. And there just is no jobs around the areas we can afford. I feel like I'm going mad but at the same time I think about it to much.

 

[PixieBeauty]

Sometimes you just have to jump hon. Life isn't easy & it's full of tough decisions.

My bf and I lived 1hr 15 from each other & decided to move to his as it's a nicer area. I've had to commute for 6 months & decided to leave my job & restart but he knew I was making the sacrifices for a joint decision, so he had to support me financially. That was a joint decision.

I'm not saying just cos I did it then you have to, but I think this happens to quite a lot of couples. Someone's gotta budge, but you have to both help each other out, if you think he or you are not prepared to do it then I'm afraid you've probably got bigger problems ahead in life that will test you, this may be just the first.

I'm sorry hon I don't mean to sound harsh I'm trying to give the best advice in your situation xxx

 

[Bonnie@lashout]

thanks pixie!, he does understand and is very supportive, well trying to be. he feels guilty that one of us will have to change, we both just have to wait and see until the right thing come along i guess. x

 

[pure]

If neither of you are prepared to move for the other then you have a problem I'm afraid.

Two years ago I met the most wonderful man, but we lived 2 hours apart. We both had our own successful businesses and were both willing to move for the other. In the end I decided to move to him as his business has a far greater value than mine ever did, so I sold up, left my home, moved my children from their school and I honestly have never looked back

It didn't occur to either of us NOT to be willing to move and start again as the most important thing was for us to be together.

Perhaps if you are both struggling with this then the time isn't right?

 

[greenreader29]

Hi Bonnie , I would suggest this. Start working one day of the week in the town your looking to move to and slowly build your clientele there. Also being married for 25 years, I would say one or the other of you will feel like your giving up something for the other and that is what a relationship is about! If your feeling your the only person who is willing to change things tell him that. I hope this helps. Sometimes we need to slow down and not look for an instant fix but take it slower and build up to a full clientele in new area. 😍 best of luck to you