Advice desperately needed regarding my hair/wedding!

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*Carly*

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So, my mother in law to be actually said (lol) "don't take offence, but would you consider getting your hair cut now and then regularly so it would be in better condition for the wedding."

Good god, I didn't realise it was that bad!!

Ok, let me explain. I have always worn my hair very long, except as a young child I once got it caught in my mums hot brush, which she had to cut out, and then 15 minutes later managed to get gum in it (what a joyful child I must have been)! We were going on holiday that afternoon, so I was rushed to my cousins salon where I went from below shoulder length to a chin length bob, which pretty much scarred me for life.

Fast forward to my mid teens and my cousin manages to convince me to let him do that Rachel cut. Fairplay to him, about 6 months later everyone had it. None the less, I cried for months as he'd cut it above the shoulders and I hated not having my length.

Since then I've been rather hair dresser phobic! I used to train myself so would just get someone in the salon to do a little trim and that was always fine, until I left the industry.

My hair was long and lovely and problem free for quite a while until a rather horrific L'oreal Ferria incident where all my hair broke off! I got a mate to even it up a tad then went and had a punky scruffy cut to slightly above the shoulders to vaguely fix the mess.

That was the last professional cut I had, uhm about 8 years ago ish! I trim the ends off myself every so often, as my hair is around waist length and I've still got my scissors. It's a bit scraggly I suppose but not that bad and I actually rather like my hair. I colour with the dreaded XXL but I've been using it around 3 years and it works for me, I don't get a lot of breakage and it doesn't cause a severe reaction, which I have had in the past with a professional high lift job.

I am overly sensitive to SLS, which is sadly in almost everything. I have been using Daniel Galvin Junior organic shampoo for red heads and I switch conditioner often though mostly use Elvive 1 minute rescue for coloured hair. My shampoo seems to have been discontinued and I'm down to my last bottle. I used to use The Body Shop Rainforest range which is sls free.


So, here's the advice I'm looking for:

My hair is naturally dark (I can't remember the colour numbers at all!) and I colour with a mix of XXL (I know, I now) Live Luminance (high lift) in a mix of Radiant Red and Infra Red. My hair is naturally very straight, I am a wash and go type girl, I usually let my hair air dry and very occasionally blow dry it or style it. I sleep in a bun and usually walk around with the messy waves it creates. My hair has progressively lost a lot of volume, the ends have thinned a lot and it's stupidly flat on top, which I hate, so I occasionally backcomb the crown.

Colour: should I just stick to what works for me and if I want any extra flashes of colour, have a few extensions put in if need be, to avoid a reaction with the metallic salts?

Cut: I was thinking about seeing if anyone needs models, I remember being desperate for them when I trained. I looked on Gumtree and it seems everyone is after shorter cuts and dramatic restyles, which I understand but I want to keep as much length as humanly possible. Will regular trims help, or is it likely that, without a much shorter cut and frequent maintenance, my hair is beyond help? I do have some breakage near the crown and the front (though I like to have slightly shorter bits framing my face so I do trim these occasionally), possibly from putting my hair up a lot and sleeping in a bun. Is anyone these days happy to take models just looking for a trim? I'm clearly slightly phobic of having my hair cut after all the disasters.

Volume: I've obviously got breakage from the midlengths and my hair has thinned from age anyway and it's so straight that I'm just at a loss. I can blow dry and backcomb, but there's only so much it can do. Extensions?

Products: Does anyone have any recommendations? Particularly for sulfate free products.

Cost: Money is tight, the wedding is next July and we are currently having to save for the extras like the photographer, flowers, etc. I really cannot spend very much at all sadly. I can barely afford to keep up with my basic skin care regime atm.

Sorry for the massive waffle, but I really wanted to explain properly the situation. Really hope I can get some help here. Thanks in advance guys xx

Here are some recent pics so you can see what we are dealing with, I hope they aren't too big!

I don't know if I've done a bun or got the tongs out, but this is how it usually looks when I don't just air dry it, I think this is before I added the slightly brighter shade of red into the mix, my colour is slightly brighter now I think.



This is more recent, here I've blow dried and backcombed much more than usual. Annoyingly, my crown still looks flat in the second pic!





Sorry there's nothing more useful, like the back of my head. I just grabbed what was already on my hard drive. I've honestly been fairly happy with my hair, apart from the volume and I thought I'd just do my colour, get a loose half up style done for the day and that would be the end of it, until my OH's mum mentioned it! x
 

LillyGoose

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Hello! Wow that was long!

Right first things first, it you're already a little scared of hairdressers, it's best to not go to a college as a model. You will be thinking about this persons experience and your hair and you will end up more in a rut. You will be best going to a trusted hairdresser who can and understands you being nervous and simply can put you at ease.

The moment you go college and the hair stylist can sense your nerves, that really won't be good for them if they are not confident.

On the regular trims aspect!! Yes yes yes!!!

I advise this for all my brides you want your hair to be perfect. The only way is to get the dead ends off and a nice intense treatment every now and then at the salon. The moment your hair gets dry and spit ends appear, if you do not cut it off all that will happen is it will work it's way up the hair shaft and eventually break off. Leaving you with un even dry brittle hair.


I don't think you mentioned how far your wedding is, july maybe? Concerning your colour that is up to you. I wouldn't recommend if your weddings in a couple weeks to drastically change it . It does take time to get used to a different hair colour. If your hair is thin, clip in extensions would help. Don't tend to backcomb thin fragile hair as it snaps.

If you mention where you are I'm sure one of the girls/guys on here would be around your area! Xxx

And congratulations!
 

*Carly*

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Hello! Wow that was long!

Right first things first, it you're already a little scared of hairdressers, it's best to not go to a college as a model. You will be thinking about this persons experience and your hair and you will end up more in a rut. You will be best going to a trusted hairdresser who can and understands you being nervous and simply can put you at ease.

The moment you go college and the hair stylist can sense your nerves, that really won't be good for them if they are not confident.

On the regular trims aspect!! Yes yes yes!!!

I advise this for all my brides you want your hair to be perfect. The only way is to get the dead ends off and a nice intense treatment every now and then at the salon. The moment your hair gets dry and spit ends appear, if you do not cut it off all that will happen is it will work it's way up the hair shaft and eventually break off. Leaving you with un even dry brittle hair.


I don't think you mentioned how far your wedding is, july maybe? Concerning your colour that is up to you. I wouldn't recommend if your weddings in a couple weeks to drastically change it . It does take time to get used to a different hair colour. If your hair is thin, clip in extensions would help. Don't tend to backcomb thin fragile hair as it snaps.

If you mention where you are I'm sure one of the girls/guys on here would be around your area! Xxx

And congratulations!

Hi LillyGoose! Thanks so much for all the advice :) Apologies for the long waffling!

Gah, I do know exactly where you're coming from, I'm just so tight on money. Regular maintenance wont be cheap. It's not that I'm completely fearful of hairdressers, they just always want to take off so much and every stylist always wants to do a restyle! I'm scared of ending up with short hair again.

Do you think just regular trims will do the job, without taking off much length, or would I have to get a lot of length lobbed off? I know the hair is split right up the shaft, which is kind of what I get for going so long without a haircut.

Are there any particular treatments you'd recommend? Anything good I could use at home inbetween?

Yes, the wedding in July, so I've got ten months to get myself looking my very best! I really like my colour, as a professional, what do you think? Could it do with any tonal highlights? Again, because I use the dreaded XXL I'd be concerned about the hair just dissolving, which is why I thought a few extensions instead. I thought some very fine copper and caramel might lift it all nicely? Personally I'd love to get my hair that pillar box red Jonathan Ross' wife has, but I've had severe allergic reactions to bleach, so I doubt it's possible and colourists generally wont go near me.

I didn't think there was enough in clip in extensions to get much volume? I actually used to sell them at beauty shows and ours barely added any volume. Is it possible to do bridal hair up with them in?

Right, no more backcombing! Thanks! I've got the babyliss root booster, which sadly doesn't do much for me as I think my hair might be too heavy. I've also got backcomb/texturising powders from Fudge and Tresame but I find they only work well combined with backcombing. Is there anything else you could recommend to add height at the roots and crown for a night out?

I'm in Camden town in London and the wedding is in Somerset. Need to make sure I find a good bridal hair and make up artist there! Aw thanks so much! :)

Do you, or anyone else have any ideas for keeping the cost down? Honestly, we have no spare cash at all atm and I don't know how I'd pay for this. Anyone want a shampoo girl/receptionist one day a week in exchange for doing my hair lol?

xx
 

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