Anxiety and depression

[AshLovesTanning]

Hi everyone,

This happens to be a really hard topic for me to write personally BUT I know i'm not the only one struggling with this topic.

I suffer with anxiety and have OCD(obsessive compulsive disorder). It's really hard for me and has been over the past number of years to do people's hair and interacting with difficult clients and people you just can't make happy.
I have had a chat with my GP and decided maybe the best thing to do is to change career something a bit less stressful and anxiety prone.

I would love to hear any advice you guys have and experience with this thanks!

 

[JJH93]

Hi I have anxiety and depression and I used to feel terribly sick and ill every time I had a new client and I would panic, have nightmares about the worst possible scenario etc etc. I went to my doctor and they gave me some tablets for my anxiety and I took them for a few months and then came off them. I still have anxiety in everyday life etc, but where work is concerned it's made life a lot easier hope that helps. My doctor suggested a change of career because of my bad wrist but I don't know what else I'd do!

 

[AshLovesTanning]

Thank you so much for writing your personal experience, it really gives me hope I can still survive with anxiety and hairdressing. It even upsets me when I see a client has had their hair done somewhere else, even tho we don't own clients it still hurts.
I was taking tablets but I hated being on them tho.
Even when a client rings me wanting their hair done i feel down cause I don't want to do it. After 10 years doing hair I've lost all passion and im sick of it now...
I think i'd prefer something less stressful! I just don't know what that is yet!

 

[laurakate]

Really pleased to see this thread because I'm not alone.

It's hard because anything and everything can be triggering so a change of career won't necessarily help.

I'm a big believer in making things manageable even if other people don't understand or judge it. Ask people to text and then call them back. It can help you feel less put on. Not all clients will work like that but it's worth it if the phone makes you anxious.

 

[JanVenus]

I'm kind of the other way around - my anxiety and depression (caused by complex PTSD) were made worse by the retail job I have. It's a big store, lots of rude customers, targets to meet and I just felt trapped. After, essentially, a nervous breakdown, I started getting really into makeup - it relaxed me and I realised I was really good at it, so I went on a college course in the evenings and then I realised I could actually change my career. I'm doing so much better now, even though I'm still working in that big store as well as running my own beauty business, because the trapped feeling isn't there.

One thing I just can't recommend enough is counselling for anxiety, I know mental health services differ greatly around the UK and that I'm very lucky to have a mental health charity, NHS and Women's Aid counselling services available to me but they can really help to get to the root cause of mental health issues and guide you from there xx

 

[AshLovesTanning]

For me I think it's the trapped feeling of being one to one with a new client and they don't like their hair and give out to me and nothing I say or do will make them happy.

I think this is where I feel trapped. My anxiety definitely rises. I'm at the point where I hate telling people I am a hairdresser in case they want their hair done and hate it... clearly my fear is they don't like what I've done and tell people.
It upsets me at times when my cousins and aunts go to a hairdresser instead of me and then go on about their hair. But I know it's none of my business it annoys me tho
I don't want to be on medication again I feel it did help me but my doctor even said she just wanted it to be a temporary thing just to help me through 2 difficult years!
I wonder should I change career cause I don't think it will go if I continue.

 

[JanVenus]

It's definitely worth looking at changing from being a hairdresser - it seems you're just not getting any job satisfaction from it and that has a major impact on your own self-esteem and confidence. It's a tough decision to make, and I don't envy you because I've been through it and didn't have a clue what I wanted to do but knew I needed to change something. If there's any part of your job that makes you happy, see if there's a way you can expand it into a career, if there's a hobby you have that relaxes you, see if there's any way you can incorporate that into a new career.

Life is too short to not take care of yourself xx

 

[AshLovesTanning]

It's definitely worth looking at changing from being a hairdresser - it seems you're just not getting any job satisfaction from it and that has a major impact on your own self-esteem and confidence. It's a tough decision to make, and I don't envy you because I've been through it and didn't have a clue what I wanted to do but knew I needed to change something. If there's any part of your job that makes you happy, see if there's a way you can expand it into a career, if there's a hobby you have that relaxes you, see if there's any way you can incorporate that into a new career.

Life is too short to not take care of yourself xx

EXACTLY!!
I don't even like the taught of making a hair appointment anymore lol.
I really haven't been myself over the past few months and was a hard decision to make to realise that I just don't want to do it anymore, because I've spent the better part of my life training and paying for extra colour courses to better myself and give me knowledge.
I love spray tanning but feel like it's a seasonal business so how can I make a career out of that?

 

[JanVenus]

Maybe career was the wrong word for me to use, the word sometimes strikes me as an unchangeable path - a course to follow, a journey. Right now, you just need a job that isn't going to piss you off. Can you make a bit of extra dosh doing something you love (spray tans) on the side while you work that job? Yes, you can. Working in a field that doesn't consume you with resentment might clear your head a bit, let you see which journey is one that is going to be the most rewarding - not just financially but psychologically too.

 

[AshLovesTanning]

Maybe career was the wrong word for me to use, the word sometimes strikes me as an unchangeable path - a course to follow, a journey. Right now, you just need a job that isn't going to piss you off. Can you make a bit of extra dosh doing something you love (spray tans) on the side while you work that job? Yes, you can. Working in a field that doesn't consume you with resentment might clear your head a bit, let you see which journey is one that is going to be the most rewarding - not just financially but psychologically too.

Your absolutely right. I feel like I should become a nun lol !!!
When ur happy everyone around you is happy and eventually you can see the sun shining through the trees!

 

[laurakate]

Also, ignore the bitching as best as you can. I've got people close to me who weren't supportive when I was self employed and chose random nss salons over me. Balls to them.

Definitely think in terms of job rather than career. See it as exploratory rather than committal. Makes it feel less trapping.

 

[AcidPerm]

Move down here near to me! It's lovely and relaxing and people are a lot more chilled.

Would you consider trying hypnotherapy/cbt to help with your anxiety? A good therapist can really make a difference.

 

[AshLovesTanning]

Move down here near to me! It's lovely and relaxing and people are a lot more chilled.

Would you consider trying hypnotherapy/cbt to help with your anxiety? A good therapist can really make a difference.

I've been to counceling and it did work but not enough to help in every day life.
I take kalms tablets and they do help especially at night trying to sleep.

 

[AshLovesTanning]

Also, ignore the bitching as best as you can. I've got people close to me who weren't supportive when I was self employed and chose random nss salons over me. Balls to them.

Definitely think in terms of job rather than career. See it as exploratory rather than committal. Makes it feel less trapping.

It's funny cause of all the people I know both family and friends none of them would ask me to do their hair but would ask me to get them stuff in Salon Services. So I stopped and pretended they didn't have what they wanted. Screw them in the end just users.
I feel like people are really anal about their hair lol

 

[courtjb91]

Hey sending love.

I've suffered for years to the point where I attempted suicide.... this was 4 years ago. I'm still on medication at a low dose that keeps me ticking over nicely and I've accepted I may need this small dose for the rest of my life. What didn't you like about taking meds? Depression and anxiety is an illness like any other and there's no shame in taking tablets to help with this illness. The first few weeks are horrible as I had sickness ect but after 8 weeks that horrible black cloud had lifted and i was able to start to deal with things. Remember medication isn't a cure, it lifts the darkness slightly so you can start to get back on track with your life.

I made the decision to get rid of any clients that gave me anxiety, yes the anxiety I felt texting them that I could no longer be their stylist was terrible but in the long run I no longer dread seeing certain clients. I also cut back by hours slightly so the days didn't seem so endless. I also went to hypnotherapy and omg it changed my life. Drop me a message if you want a chat xxx

 

[AshLovesTanning]

Hey sending love.

I've suffered for years to the point where I attempted suicide.... this was 4 years ago. I'm still on medication at a low dose that keeps me ticking over nicely and I've accepted I may need this small dose for the rest of my life. What didn't you like about taking meds? Depression and anxiety is an illness like any other and there's no shame in taking tablets to help with this illness. The first few weeks are horrible as I had sickness ect but after 8 weeks that horrible black cloud had lifted and i was able to start to deal with things. Remember medication isn't a cure, it lifts the darkness slightly so you can start to get back on track with your life.

I made the decision to get rid of any clients that gave me anxiety, yes the anxiety I felt texting them that I could no longer be their stylist was terrible but in the long run I no longer dread seeing certain clients. I also cut back by hours slightly so the days didn't seem so endless. I also went to hypnotherapy and omg it changed my life. Drop me a message if you want a chat xxx

Thank you for your very supportive message! I didn't like taking medication because I don't like putting chemicals into my body... I know at some point later in life I may need to go back on them but I'm gonna try a career change and keep doing spray tanning cause I love tanning and I feel like going part time may help alot with the anxiety knowing that I'm not tied down to something all day! I feel like mental health is as important as physical health and so I try to keep on top of it and I feel like a career decision may be in need... I've had anxiety since I was 7 and never knew until I had an anxiety attack on the first day of a new job and taught I was dying so went to A&E LOL
I hope your feeling better now and have supportive people in your life to help you through! There is nothing like the support of a loved one who knows whats going on and can be there for you!!

 

[Cindy2021]

Thank you for your very supportive message! I didn't like taking medication because I don't like putting chemicals into my body... I know at some point later in life I may need to go back on them but I'm gonna try a career change and keep doing spray tanning cause I love tanning and I feel like going part time may help alot with the anxiety knowing that I'm not tied down to something all day! I feel like mental health is as important as physical health and so I try to keep on top of it and I feel like a career decision may be in need... I've had anxiety since I was 7 and never knew until I had an anxiety attack on the first day of a new job and taught I was dying so went to A&E LOL
I hope your feeling better now and have supportive people in your life to help you through! There is nothing like the support of a loved one who knows whats going on and can be there for you!!

I agree about not liking added chemicals/hormones etc however depression/anxiety is a chemical imbalance so if you don't seek help including medication then you may suffer and progressively get worse. It needs monitored by your gp/mental health team.

 

[laurakate]

Medicine to make mental health that bit less unbearable on a day to day basis is totally worth it.

 

[Jake nattrass hair]

Hi ash. Sad to hear you feel that way.
As hairdressers I think we all have that worry.. is this client going to like there hair etc? But I've come to learn that some people no matter how hard you try will just never be pleased.. it's like the expression you can't please everyone.
Obviously you try your absolute best to achieve what the client wants and rectify if it's not what they wanted.
But remember we are hairdressers not wizards we have boundrys not magic wands.
We've all came across difficult clients and had those days where we think that's it I've had enough!!!
But just try judge up how many nice wonderful clients you have it soon outweighs the bad ones.. and if there aweful then let them go elsewhere it's not worth the money.
Hope this helps x

 

[AshLovesTanning]

Hi ash. Sad to hear you feel that way.
As hairdressers I think we all have that worry.. is this client going to like there hair etc? But I've come to learn that some people no matter how hard you try will just never be pleased.. it's like the expression you can't please everyone.
Obviously you try your absolute best to achieve what the client wants and rectify if it's not what they wanted.
But remember we are hairdressers not wizards we have boundrys not magic wands.
We've all came across difficult clients and had those days where we think that's it I've had enough!!!
But just try judge up how many nice wonderful clients you have it soon outweighs the bad ones.. and if there aweful then let them go elsewhere it's not worth the money.
Hope this helps x

Your comment really did make me feel worlds better! There was one time in particular last year when I had a nixer...
I arrived at her home to 3 screaming children and 2 barking dogs... I was doing a fullhead and every 2 foils that went into her head she literally jumped up to see if her kids were alright even tho her husband was in the room with them! It took me like 4 hours to complete her hair cause she kept jumping up to look in the mirror to tell me she didn't like a certain lowlight or whatever literally the worst experience and I actually didn't do any nixers after that for months!!
I feel like anxiety now has me worried that the same thing will happen or worse! I have always done my absolute best cause I love helping people but some people really just want to have a problem with everything... It's like when you start driving and other a hole drivers start getting annoyed with you yano you kinda get frustrated and don't know what to do.
I have even on some occasions actually let clients leave without paying cause what am I supposed to do if they don't like their hair and won't let me rectify cause their afraid it will look worse or something lol just take the money out of their purse and run