Are women too eager to please men?

[tonicj]

Came across this and since there have been a few threads recently about relationships and how some geeks on here seem lost in theirs, I thought I would share.


10 Ways Women Try to Prove Themselves to Men:

1. By cancelling plans with friends because he called to say he wants to
see you on the same day you had plans to do something with the girls
(women are notorious for doing this).

2. Making excuses for him when he fails to do the thing he said he would
do like call on a specific day or meet you somewhere - on time!

3. By sticking by him and having sex regularly with him, even though he
never takes you out on a real date.

4. By feeling obligated to have sex with him by the 3rd date and
sometimes even the 1st date .

5. By not realising the consequences of a premature sexual relationship.

6. By sexting him (think I know what this means)

7. Doing his laundry or cleaning his home frequently.

8. Constantly cooking meals for him.

9. Being available for calls any time of the night.

10. Paying off his debts or giving him money.

The list goes on. All of these behaviours ultimately backfire on women for one simple reason: When you do everything for him, the man gets lazy. He begins to develop a strong sense of entitlement. You will have created a monster who doesn't have to do anything to keep you around, since he knows full well you will do all the work!

I think there are a percentage of women (and I have seen this myself) who show signs of desperation when they find someone.

"When any woman is too eager
to please and impress, she can bet
that she is going to attract selfish
men on a regular basis"

What are your opinions on this?

 

[PinkSwoon]

I think the problem is that men rarely appreciate a good woman. They only know what they've got when it's gone as they say.

It's human nature for a woman to try to prove herself to a man, if we weren't as advanced as we were, then the woman that didn't prove herself didn't mate & wouldn't produce offspring which is where I think the desperation to for a woman to prove herself comes from.

This might be controversial but I think most of the problem lies with the males mum/upbringing...if they spend all of their home life being tidied up after/having tea cooked for them/being waited on hand & foot...how will they ever learn to appreciate the things a woman does for him or look after themselves?

 

[tonicj]

I hear of so many young girls these days jumping into bed (if they get that far) on the first night!! It's awful. There doesn't seem to be anything left to the imagination these days. I'm 48 and probably sound "out of touch" to some of the young girls on here (I'm not saying all of you!).
Some of them and the way they are dressed on a night out just look like they are there for the taking.

Looking desperate just proves one thing and that is insecurity and unfortunately this anxiety to please is the kind of trait that acts as a terrible magnet - one which will undoubtedly attract the wrong type of man.

 

[PinkSwoon]

I agree with the above, a real man after a relationship would not want a woman to jump into bed on the first night! Part of the rush of finding a potential boy/girlfriend is the mysteriousness & buzz of taking things step by step. However, if the woman wasn't after anything serious & just wanted sex then I don't see it as a problem although I wouldn't condone it...women got needs too

 

[tonicj]

I can understand women having needs too and maybe I do sound out of touch but jumping into bed or wherever after one night is just plain awful.

 

[Faylizzie]

Totally agree with this, I used to be a complete push over with my boyfriend, he took the mick big time, we broke up. A year later we got back together. I've since always stood my ground, and it's turned him around, he doesn't take the mick, I don't have to ask him to do things, he always asks my opinion an respects it, we've been together 6 years now an it's like being with a completely different person compared to what he was like to start with we're both happy & respectful of each other. I'm not out to impress him or be his slave an I get more respect now and am more equal to him than what I was when id clean up his mess, at his beck & call every 5 minutes.
If you let them take the mick they'll continue to do so because they get away with, they're sort of like big kids (not that I have kids) but I'm assuming that like children you need to address things quickly and show them you won't tolerate their behaviour xxxx

 

[tonicj]

Good for you Faylizzie!

Men who prey on vulnerable women always look for the woman who tries too hard. He can play her and she will stay. He can be occasionally nice to get what he wants. He also knows that an eager to please woman will stay despite his disrespect.

There's also this media image of the confident woman who is good in bed not to mention all the screaming that goes on while she's in that bed, all again I think to make the man feel so good like he's some bloody God!

I probably sound like a man hater, but this I am not, believe me. I listen to a lot of people who have had problems such as this and I just wish they would stop jumping in and out of the wrong type of relationship and take a step back and start to value themselves first.

 

[tonicj]

I know the title says "Are women too eager to please men" but in fairness there are probably some lovely young men out there who have the same type of problems with their partners.

 

[Faylizzie]

I know the title says "Are women too eager to please men" but in fairness there are probably some lovely young men out there who have the same type of problems with their partners.

Definitely my friend used to totally take advantage of boyfriends, they were treated like a lap dog, then she fell In love with a guy that treated her exactly the same as she treated him... She's in a new relationship now an I think she's learnt a very valuable lesson as she treats him so much better!

Xxxxx

 

[nicole333]

The only thing I see these women trying to prove to men is how much of a walk over they are. That is all.

 

[littlemissm]

I have never done any of that with my husband. It's more the other way around he does everything to please me.

 

[tonicj]

I have never done any of that with my husband. It's more the other way around he does everything to please me.

This is what is called "respect".

 

[PinkSwoon]

My OH is like that too...but I also do things to please him. It's a give & take kind of situation which we are very happy with

 

[tonicj]

Ok girls and not forgetting the nice guys out there too.

Be yourself, speak your mind,
Disagree when it's warranted,
Don't always be available and
Tell the truth about how you feel
When they do something you
don't like.

 

[Delish]

Ok girls and not forgetting the nice guys out there too.

Be yourself, speak your mind,
Disagree when it's warranted,
Don't always be available and
Tell the truth about how you feel
When they do something you
don't like.

Lol i do the part of
Opening my mouth when i don't like something , bare in mind i am nice and just getting my point across x

And guess what i'm ' moaning '
He he x

 

[tonicj]

I am so pro women I want you all to have a voice! I will keep posting anything I think is relevant until you all tell me to stop!

 

[skingeek78]

Ok girls and not forgetting the nice guys out there too.

Be yourself, speak your mind,
Disagree when it's warranted,
Don't always be available and
Tell the truth about how you feel
When they do something you
don't like.

My husband would say speaking my mind is not a problem for me, neither is disagreeing when it's warranted, or telling him exactly how I feel when he does something I don't like :-D

Seriously though a relationship should be give and take, balance is required I reckon. We have had our ups and downs, I also think there were times when I definitely felt taken advantage of so I agree it needs to be that women have self respect and don't allow themselves to be walked over whilst maintaining their femininity. I wouldn't be with anyone else, we have a mutual respect with a healthy dose of regular debate thrown in.

 

[wonderwoman]

Im a big believer of dont keep it in , you'll explode! Having frank discussings always helps.

I guess i know which quailites i want in a man now!

Have you seen the dating marlarky out there?! Some right weird ones! (with issues) xoxo

 

[littlemissm]

My OH is like that too...but I also do things to please him. It's a give & take kind of situation which we are very happy with

Yes I agree although my husband does everything to please me I also do things to please him. We have been together just over 15 yrs & married for 5. We couldn't be happier.

 

[Delish]

My husband would say speaking my mind is not a problem for me, neither is disagreeing when it's warranted, or telling him exactly how I feel when he does something I don't like :-D

Seriously though a relationship should be give and take, balance is required I reckon. We have had our ups and downs, I also think there were times when I definitely felt taken advantage of so I agree it needs to be that women have self respect and don't allow themselves to be walked over whilst maintaining their femininity. I wouldn't be with anyone else, we have a mutual respect with a healthy dose of regular debate thrown in.

He he
Love the regular dose of debate x