Bullies!

[Rubybloos]

Hi, iam just wanting other people opinions and advice on how to deal with a situation!

Basically My little girl is getting bullied by her "friend". Iam friends with her mam as we live in the same street and we all walk down to school together and half the time they play nicely and go to each other's houses but. This other child is also really horrible the rest of the time, only like this with my daughter not other children. Like she has hit out and dug her nails into her head making it bleed! Tells other kids at school not to play with her and getting other people to join in, just saying other horrible things aswell. Her mam has seen this before and gives her wrong but laughs it off as being in competition with each other, but iam raging inside!

I don't want to say anything to her mam as she is always going to take her child's side no matter what and it will make things awkward, don't think the child would listen aswell! Could speak to the school, but there's only so much they can do. So do I have a word with the child myself if I have her over for tea? Such a hard situation! Xxx

 

[cheekychick]

Hi, iam just wanting other people opinions and advice on how to deal with a situation!

Basically My little girl is getting bullied by her "friend". Iam friends with her mam as we live in the same street and we all walk down to school together and half the time they play nicely and go to each other's houses but. This other child is also really horrible the rest of the time, only like this with my daughter not other children. Like she has hit out and dug her nails into her head making it bleed! Tells other kids at school not to play with her and getting other people to join in, just saying other horrible things aswell. Her mam has seen this before and gives her wrong but laughs it off as being in competition with each other, but iam raging inside!

I don't want to say anything to her mam as she is always going to take her child's side no matter what and it will make things awkward, don't think the child would listen aswell! Could speak to the school, but there's only so much they can do. So do I have a word with the child myself if I have her over for tea? Such a hard situation! Xxx

Don't speak to the child yourself, she will probably take it as a personal attack, tell her mum (and exaggerate) then you have a whole other situation on your hands.

I'd maybe arrange a time when you could meet with the child and mother and discuss it with both children there. And go from there.

What a horrible situation I hope your daughter is okay.
Nothing worse than a bully 😡 xx

 

[Vicky X]

I wouldn't get the child over to have a word, that would seem rather underhanded, especially if she then tells her mam, my opinion is you need to speak to the mother about this regardless of how awkward it may make things.
X.

 

[Kate Minerva]

I would speak to the school, I got bullied in junior school for a quite a while. once my teacher knew at the school it was so much easier for me, looking back now she was a brilliant teacher and I was very lucky. But they will have dealt with a similar situation before and can be really helpful about things to both you and the children. It could help more than you think. Hope your daughter is okay and it gets sorted quickly!! X

 

[fluffy26]

Speaking from the point of view as a parent, and not knowing how old the girl is I would tackle it this way:
* speak to their teacher, making them aware of the situation if get are not already.
* speak to the head, request that they get both the girls in & speaks to them.
I know it's your daughter & I'm not disbelieving what you are saying but you don't know what else is going on at school, we all like to think the best of our children, but I know(although not Bullies) my girls can be unkind to their friends sometimes!in my opinion I would Leave it to the school to deal with. Make them aware of what's going on & you can monitor this with the help & support of the school. I guarantee the mum of this child will not appreciate you telling her "her child is being unkind to your child!" Kids will fall out & make up again quicker than the parents ever will! Good luck! X

 

[laurenosaurus]

I would take a completely different stance and as awkward as it may feel say to the mum something along the lines of, I'm really sorry to bring it up and I'm sure it's just children but some of the things (xx) is doing are really upsetting (xx) and was wondering if you could have a quick word with her... Almost try and brush it off because at that age most children will really take heed of anything their parents say, and won't cause animosity between you and the other parent as it would if you went behind her back to the school. I'd certainly want it mentioned to me if my child was being mean.

 

[Vicky X]

You could say something like "has (her child) mentioned anything to you about her and (your child) having silly quarrels lately?" You don't have to go in all guns blazing, just bring it up in a non-accusing way, that way you will have approached the subject without accusing her daughter of anything.

This way she will be more aware and be more likely to keep a closer eye on what's going on.

 

[blossom]

I would let the school handle it. Most have zero tolerance for this sort if thing. What age are they? X

 

[Rubybloos]

Thank you everyone for replies, appreciate it as it's always good to have second opinion! I broached the subject on the way to school casually with her mam while her child was there aswell! And said they both need to play nicely with each other etc. so will see if it makes a difference if not iam going to talk to school teacher. Just heartbreaking seeing your child bullied. X

 

[Julie-Liz]

Last time my child was being bullied I told the school they either sort it or I would hunt the boy's mother down after school. He had physically assaulted my daughter on a daily basis and it was horrid. I suppose in this situation you know the mum and it opens the lines of communication far more easily.
That first post about nails being dug into your child was sad to read. Kids can be so cruel, I had to take my son to A&E once because a child threw him to the ground in school and broke his arm. I put him into karate class to boost his confidence and teach him self defence. I don't condone violence but if at any point someone goes to strike him he has the skill to block them and get out of harms way. Sorry to hear your little one is being picked on and I really hope between you, the other parent and the school it can be resolved. X