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gillian w

Well-Known Member
Oct 4, 2006
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My father in law passed away at the weekend.We are all coping ok .
What i thought you might help me with is that it is his wifes birthday this Saturday. What ever would be appropriate.
We thought flowers but she has hundreds and really doesnt want any more.Anything with happy birthday is obviously not right as its going to be anything but that.thanks for any advice.
Could you take her out for lunch to try and take her mind off things?

My thoughts are with you at this sad time x
Yeh a small meal sounds good to me too. Really sorry to hear of your loss & my thoughts are with you & the family. :hug:
a meal sounds good - what ever u do keep it low key though, i don't think she will feel like being centre of attention or being made a fuss of right now :hug:
my thoughts are with you and your family
My sympathy.

I would try and look for a card which says along the lines of "thinking of you" or "just for you" etc, and write a little message instead of just to and from.

A meal does sound nice, but she may not feel like bothering. How about a plant for the patio? Or a fruit bush/mini orange tree/olive tree? Its not flowers but still nice.

Sorry but that's all I can think of and I've given it quite a bit of thought. If I come up with anything brilliant I'll post again. xx
So sorry to hear of your loss. :hug:

I like Blossom's idea of a plant, but am also thinking is she the type to appreciate a facial or massage or something? A voucher for one she can take in the future might be an idea, my Mum passed away just over a month ago and now I am really feeling the need to pamper myself, and get rid of some of the stress and tension.
How about a hand written note saying that you haven't forgotten her birthday and suggest that you celebrate her birthday when she feels up to it. You could then keep an eye on her and when she seems more able to cope with it, you could all go out for a meal or something. Sorry for your loss. xxx
when my mum died she died in the march as my dads birthday was in the april, i just invited him for a big roast so he didnt feel pressured into either putting a brave face on or feeling miserable infront of people.
he was ok as i had my boys there and kids tend to just treat people as normal....were as us adults worry about what to do
in regards to a card i would just get a plain one (ie no wording) there's so many now with flowers, photos etc and just write a little note. i think what other people said about treating her when she's ready etc - everyone deals with grief in different ways so judge it on how she's feeling xx
Thankyou,between you youve solved the problem.I think we will give her a handwritten card saying we haven't forgotten etc and that when she feels ready we will take her for a meal.
Thankyou for all your kind words.

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