I need to get this off my chest!

[latintherapist]

Hin
Happy New Year to every one. My situation is a bit complicated.
I have been with my partner for 5 years, and engaged for 4 years. When we got together everything was ok but then we moved together and suddenly we had a family with 2 teenagers living with us and a mother in law living in the nanny's house. We had so many ups and downs but more downs than ups. I do not love him as my partner due to numerous issues between us.... but I just thought I wanted to give everything to save the relationship before taking any drastic decision. I have tried and we became good friends again but the chemistry was not there for me anymore. He does not like my children and Christmas was very stressful. My children left on boxing day just to avoid problems. He has been telling me how much he loves me and adores me, and that his life will be destroyed without me (he has a powerful job), and also he said that he is a very good catch (good salary, lovely house, etc), so..... for new year he decided to go to scotland to a few football matches with his friend and son until the 2nd of Jan. He knew I couldnt go because I have my own business but I was ok because I was planning to go to see my son for new year. THEN...in the 29th of dec, his mother had a health complication, and he was on his way to scotland, and while he is still in Scotland with his friends I have been feeding and helping her (demanding old lady), so i couldn't go to my son's for new year and ended up just on my own feeling very sorry for myself, crying and tryin to reevaluate my life. I have been unhappy for long time but the implications of leaving him kept me trying over and over again. NOW...I am getting some of my stuff ready. I am leaving him. I have taking my decision and I thought new year new beginning. OMG, I am terrified but If i never try I will never know. :Scared:xxx

 

[virtues2011]

Hin
Happy New Year to every one. My situation is a bit complicated.
I have been with my partner for 5 years, and engaged for 4 years. When we got together everything was ok but then we moved together and suddenly we had a family with 2 teenagers living with us and a mother in law living in the nanny's house. We had so many ups and downs but more downs than ups. I do not love him as my partner due to numerous issues between us.... but I just thought I wanted to give everything to save the relationship before taking any drastic decision. I have tried and we became good friends again but the chemistry was not there for me anymore. He does not like my children and Christmas was very stressful. My children left on boxing day just to avoid problems. He has been telling me how much he loves me and adores me, and that his life will be destroyed without me (he has a powerful job), and also he said that he is a very good catch (good salary, lovely house, etc), so..... for new year he decided to go to scotland to a few football matches with his friend and son until the 2nd of Jan. He knew I couldnt go because I have my own business but I was ok because I was planning to go to see my son for new year. THEN...in the 29th of dec, his mother had a health complication, and he was on his way to scotland, and while he is still in Scotland with his friends I have been feeding and helping her (demanding old lady), so i couldn't go to my son's for new year and ended up just on my own feeling very sorry for myself, crying and tryin to reevaluate my life. I have been unhappy for long time but the implications of leaving him kept me trying over and over again. NOW...I am getting some of my stuff ready. I am leaving him. I have taking my decision and I thought new year new beginning. OMG, I am terrified but If i never try I will never know. :Scared:xxx

I was always told never be frightened of anything growing up, but I had two very strong minded parents. However I do thank them for this. You have one pretty short life, you must be happy in it. This move will take you out of your comfort zone, but not for long. If you believe all else has failed then you know this really is the last step to finding peace and happiness. You really will be fine. Look upon this decision as a new start, a fresh life. I have taken this road twice in my life and today I am the happiest I have ever been. Believe in yourself and stay positive and focused.

Sent from my GT-N7100 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[squidgernetball]

Poor you. Virtues has hit the nail on the head - it won't be easy, but remember my saying for business and for your personal life - if you change nothing, nothing changes.

Make your changes, and look forward to what's ahead. It's the right time of year for a new start.

Love and luck

Vicki x

 

[tonicj]

Oh dear, these things are never easy! You say you have made your decision, so the next step is to act on it. If you don't, 5 years from now you could well be having the same problems. So why not go ahead and hopefully look back in those 5 years and say, thank god I followed my instincts. Hope all goes well for you.:hug:

 

[adamlea87]

Well done on taking the first steps towards change. I hope you continue to move forward this year and don't look back. =)

You have the support of SG behind you! x

 

[latintherapist]

OMG, thank you so much for your support. I just feel in peaces right now. I have emotional waves that are coming and going. Suddenly i cannot stop crying and suddenly I feel right. xxx

 

[shelldavis]

Hi
I left 15 years ago with a five year old & an 18 month old & £20 in my purse best thing I ever did after years of abuse & being controlled? I now run my own beauty salon & dermalogica web shop! I have 3 children now and although I'm still on my own I've never been happier!!!

 

[hazeleyes]

I agree with everything that's been said before, I took this path once years ago as I was so fed up of being miserable with an abusive unfaithful boyfriend. I was quite young at the time and it meant I was a single mum at age 23! I hated it at first but then things changed.

Now 6 years later I'm happy with a new bloke who treats me like a queen and the old one is still begging me back! Best thing I ever did!

Lives too short to be unhappy! It will feel different for a while, it's a big change but you will soon get back on track!

Here's to 2014 being the year you make the changes you would like to make you happy!
Xxx

 

[Elaine Armani]

Sorry to hear this hun, but I strongly believe that your life will NEVER change if you don't make the changes!!
In a situation like this think with your mind and not with your heart, your heart may tell you to stay with him because you feel bad but really you know it probably won't work out for you, knowing you're not already married yet and he doesn't like your kids? If a man loves a women he will love her kids her family, and her friends or at least they won't admit that they don't like their family or show it!
This is a huge sign to what he's really like, so think of it like this... you two are not married yet so imagine if you were? What would your life be like? That is your answer. You deserve to be happy, don't be scared to grieve for a short period of time because this is only healthy to feel sad but I promise you after that it will be the best thing you've done. One day you'll find that perfect someone for you.. it will come to you when you aren't looking for it!
As for his security (job and home) you don't need his good salary and home. You can provide yourself with these things without relying on a man, be strong and work hard. It will all fall into place
AND most of all, do not go back to him! you will go back to square one.
Goodluck and I hope i've helped in some way :hug:

 

[Mobile Manicure]

You go girl!! Be strong, stay strong and get out there and find your new life. Look at it as an exciting opportunity. Don't weaken or listen to threats or whatever he will come up with. Don't feel sympathy or guilt. Be selfish for once, your life is for YOU! :hug:

 

[sanilulu]

New Year ... New start ...
Good luck hunni, you'll be fine <3


Sent from my iPhone using SalonGeek app

 

[latintherapist]

On the 2nd day of my new life. Feeling a little better. I need to talk to him about practicalities and not looking forward to it. OMG.... I am back to work tomorrow back to some normality. He came back from Scotland last night and I have been so worry about how he is feeling. xxx

 

[Mobile Manicure]

Have you moved out? Does he know where you are? I would start by communicating by phone. Easier to keep your emotions in check and you can just hang up if you don't like what you're hearing.

Don't worry about how he is feeling. Worry about how YOU are feeling.

 

[LieLash]

Just wanted to share my little story that may help.

Firstly I don't have children but I was in a similar relationship about 5 years ago.
He was a good man but lazy and the passion had gone. We had a lovely home he earnt lots of money, we had nice holidays and we didn't want for anything. But it just didn't feel right.
I think for a woman once the passion or trust has gone you can't get it back.

He said he could never live without me etc - all the stuff u have said.


Finally I left - a hard decision, I had £17:50 to live on for 2 weeks but I did it.

Best decision ever and now like others I'm with a wonderful man and I'm so happy.

I think you get used to being with someone and a certain lifestyle but it's no reason to stay,

Good on you xx

 

[latintherapist]

Thanks for your comments. Yes, it is comforting to know that there is a light at the end!! It is so complicated because he has invested some money in the business. I cannot afford to pay him back right now and I know that as soon as he gets the emotional side out of his way he will be demanding a payment. My son is absolutely desperate and worried of me. He just wants me to get out of here and I understand. He came to stay with us for a couple of months and did not like my partner at all.
I know I have taked the first step, and honestly I thought that I was not going to be able to do it, But I did. Now I need to sort the business side out. The business is a minute away from the house, and he has been here waiting every night for me to talk ! Part of me is thinking just to close it down, and move close to my children for a new fresh start. I can always get a job and have a proper fresh start. In that way it will be a physical break. But I AM SO CONFUSED!! Before this happened I was planning to move the business home because i will be struggling with the new lease increased, but obviously now with the new circumstances it is not possible.