My boss hates me

[Jo's Nails]

Hi
I am in floods. My boss hates me and I can't handle it.
I have been there nearly three months and she treats me like I am a bad smell. She doesn't look at me when she speaks to me, say please or thank you, or help me. I have tried to keep calm and professional and do everything I am supposed to do, I try to communicate with her and check that I am doing things right. At first I thought it was nerve's and it was my mistake but I realised that I wasn't making the mistakes she said I was making but don't want to argue back as she is my boss so I took it as constructive criticism and tried to get better. I leave work everyday feeling awful and worthless. I know she is giving me the cold shoulder to get rid of me and find it so unkind I have fought the tears back and tried to carry on till tonight I waited for my kids to go to bed and creid

 

[Emmalou1991x]

Personally i would leave. Lifes to short to feel like that. What is the point in spending nearly everyday of your life feeling like this, its obviously not your fault. But only you can change the situation x

 

[surf girl]

The advice above is to leave so Bring it up to her, tell her exactly how you feel & ask her is she aware she makes you feel that way, no one should be feeling the way you are. If she has an issue with you tell her to put it out in the open because her behaviour is unacceptable & is affecting you on a personal level be brave and do it x

 

[FlawlessBeauty]

I had a situation similar to this when I started out. There were 2 bosses. One was awful. She would tear my confidence to shreds and said I had to get my work checked after each appointment.

One day in particular I did a pedicure. The client loved it and tipped me. The other boss checked it and was happy. On my day off the mean boss called me and said how awful it was, etc.

I dreaded that job. My heart sank every time my phone rang in the fear it was her again, as she rang all the time.

The day I quit that job was amazing. I didn't have anywhere to go but I couldn't be there another day.

Look for a new job where you are nurtured and appreciated. When you find it, leave this one professionally and don't look back. Life is too short and you spend too much time at work to be miserable xx

 

[Jo's Nails]

I am in the process of looking for a new job. All of the salons advertising are either looking for more qualifications or more years experience. I have also seen my job advertised on indeed website last night so I have to find another job quickly which would mean coming out of the beauty industry. I was so happy when I found this job to build on my skills and reputation and put me in a good position. I have thought about asking her if I have done anything wrong but I know the answer that she is going to sack me and I can't afford to have the sack. It's not going to look good on my CV and future employer's will see that I have been sacked and not take me on. Sorry my heads all over the place and I am panicking.

 

[Eloise86]

She cannot sack you for for asking if you have done something wrong.... If anything I would respect someone for being ballsy and upfront and confident in themselves to ask... I would tell her how you feel and if nothing is resolved move on..... Go self employed if you can't get employment build up experience that way... Believe in yourself!! [emoji8]xxxxxx

 

[squidgernetball]

Are you employed? Does she pay you an hourly wage with holidays and a pay slip x

 

[Noodle]

I am in the process of looking for a new job. All of the salons advertising are either looking for more qualifications or more years experience. I have also seen my job advertised on indeed website last night so I have to find another job quickly which would mean coming out of the beauty industry. I was so happy when I found this job to build on my skills and reputation and put me in a good position. I have thought about asking her if I have done anything wrong but I know the answer that she is going to sack me and I can't afford to have the sack. It's not going to look good on my CV and future employer's will see that I have been sacked and not take me on. Sorry my heads all over the place and I am panicking.

Sorry I have to ask you, but is there any chance your boss could be reading this thread?

 

[AcidPerm]

Sorry I have to ask you, but is there any chance your boss could be reading this thread?

Frankly, I hope she does and realises what a crap job she's doing of being a boss and nurturing her staff!
Not maintaining eye contact when speaking with your staff is dreadful behaviour.

Some managers wrongly think good staff appear out of thin air and just get on with it. They seem shocked to learn that they have to put considerable effort into supporting and developing their staff.

Fact is, if she is a rubbish manager, the business won't thrive.

Op, in your shoes, I'd try to talk to her about the problem and see if she's aware of the atmosphere and if there's no acknowledgment on her part, hand in your notice. Don't worry about what future employers will think but think about your own mental health.

 

[Simba1972]

I am in the process of looking for a new job. All of the salons advertising are either looking for more qualifications or more years experience. I have also seen my job advertised on indeed website last night so I have to find another job quickly which would mean coming out of the beauty industry. I was so happy when I found this job to build on my skills and reputation and put me in a good position. I have thought about asking her if I have done anything wrong but I know the answer that she is going to sack me and I can't afford to have the sack. It's not going to look good on my CV and future employer's will see that I have been sacked and not take me on. Sorry my heads all over the place and I am panicking.

References just have to be accurate and truthful. So for example, if you were disciplined at your last job for misconduct, they could mention it on your reference as long as it was properly investigated at the time. As long as it's not misleading, they aren't doing anything wrong by giving you a bad reference.
However, some employers are scared to give bad references because anything considered to be not 100% accurate could be grounds for legal action, so will often just give the basic facts about your employment with them rather than focusing on character references.
If you think the statements made in the reference are untrue and believe that it then unfairly harmed your future work prospects you may be able to sue for ‘negligent misstatement’. To do so, you must show that:
The information in the reference is misleading
Providing this misleading information has had a negative effect on your future employment
Your employer was negligent in providing a reference.
Alternatively, if you think there is an element of discrimination involved, you can bring your former employer to an employment tribunal. Either way, it's time to seek legal help.

 

[surf girl]

Ask the nice boss for a reference! If your defo getting sacked get your answers as you leave & if the nasty boss is reading this SHAME ON YOU!

 

[attitude]

If necessary, just leave that job off your CV entirely.

 

[Jo's Nails]

I've never been in such a strange situation in all my life. I've gone in today said "Good morning, isn't this weather awfull?" And she acted as if I wasnt there, totally ignored me for most of the day.
I allways make sure I am on time 15mins early before start, of shift. I am smart, clean and tidy, I go about and do all of my daily dueties mostly cleaning at the moment. I am friendly, polite and respectful. All I want to do is work.
I feel different about it today I've stopped panicking and looked at it in a different light. It's not my problem. She is 10 years yonger than me i don't know if she can't handle situations instead of being honest and telling me to go she is making me feel uncomfortable by ignoring me. I can't afford to be out of work so I have to find something else first. And remain professional. It's not working out I know this and I realized this for a long time. This is not work I am doing nothing all day but cleaning.

 

[Jo's Nails]

Maybe I have had to write this post to work out what's going on to face things the right way and sir down and talk to her. I can then plan my job search.

 

[AcidPerm]

Well done OP.

It sounds like she might not be experienced in managing staff (and maybe no experience of working for a good boss!)

Maybe you need to manage her?

 

[surf girl]

Make sure you point out what she's done as you go tho!

 

[daydreams01]

I've never been in such a strange situation in all my life. I've gone in today said "Good morning, isn't this weather awfull?" And she acted as if I wasnt there, totally ignored me for most of the day.
I allways make sure I am on time 15mins early before start, of shift. I am smart, clean and tidy, I go about and do all of my daily dueties mostly cleaning at the moment. I am friendly, polite and respectful. All I want to do is work.
I feel different about it today I've stopped panicking and looked at it in a different light. It's not my problem. She is 10 years yonger than me i don't know if she can't handle situations instead of being honest and telling me to go she is making me feel uncomfortable by ignoring me. I can't afford to be out of work so I have to find something else first. And remain professional. It's not working out I know this and I realized this for a long time. This is not work I am doing nothing all day but cleaning.

Sound like she definitely has issues but your right it's her problem not yours and she clearly isn't a people person! Maybe the other boss employed you without her agreement so she is taking it out on you but it's very unprofessional. Maybe request a meeting with both bosses and say you feel like there is an awkward atmosphere with you and the horrible one and do not know why but would prefer it if they spoke to you about any issues so that you can clear the air.

 

[FlawlessBeauty]

Well done on the change off attitude Jo.

If you are doing nothing but cleaning all day do you think that she may be trying to get you to leave because she doesn't have enough clients to afford you?

Perhaps the job advert you saw was an old one before you got the job x

 

[Jo's Nails]

I have been given a written warning and had a disciplinary yesterday, without warning. There is a huge parargraph on things I have done wrong as well my work and my professionalism has been torn apart. This was done in the kitchen adjoining the salon and clients could hear. At one point a co worker was called in by my boss to have her input. When I dissagreed with what she was saying she got louder and louder and a little aggressive. I was sat in stool and they were stood up. I told them that I felt like I can't defend myself but it went on. I was not allowed to take notes so I recorded the conversation, I told my boss I was doing this. She has given me untill 2nd of October to appeal against her decision.

 

[Simba1972]

I have been given a written warning and had a disciplinary yesterday, without warning. There is a huge parargraph on things I have done wrong as well my work and my professionalism has been torn apart. This was done in the kitchen adjoining the salon and clients could hear. At one point a co worker was called in by my boss to have her input. When I dissagreed with what she was saying she got louder and louder and a little aggressive. I was sat in stool and they were stood up. I told them that I felt like I can't defend myself but it went on. I was not allowed to take notes so I recorded the conversation, I told my boss I was doing this. She has given me untill 2nd of October to appeal against her decision.

I'd inform your employer that your seeking advice from a employment tribunal. She sounds very unprofessional within the informative way she has delivered this disciplinary and to involve other employees directly is a form of bullying in the workplace. I'd defiantly seek advice at this point and inform you boss of this.