Sick of the humiliation

[laurakate]

I just don't feel like a propper beauty therapist. Im not fully proficient in any product line and even though I know im good at what I do I feel like a fraud and a wannabe. Hate feeling like this its unnecessarily low and dark but I dont know how to stop it. *it gives me no*pleasure to say this because its probably cringe and embarrassing but I just wish I knew what to do. Dont feel proficient in anything really. Im awesome with people but I dont know how to utilise that.

Ive recieved a big blow today...I was really looking forward to some training at work that I was told was happening months ago and today I find out that its cancelled at the last minute.
I left my last job from having been let down like this before...promised the earth but getting strung along and im just so sick of the humiliation. Starting to think that all employers are the same.

I dont know how much more of this I can take. It makes me feel pathetic like that kid in the playground that winges that they want to go on the big kids swing.

Please help. It might not sound big but im tired of feeling this way. I will often put myself on training courses where possible but not all brands I work with allow employees to do this under their own initiative

Please help. I feel so down because this keeps happening and its really getting to me

 

[Victoriabar]

Laura Kate, I didn't want to just read and run. Its late right now n my logical head has already gone to sleep so I'm sending you some hugs cause I reckon right now you need a friendly notion.
I'm sure some other geeks will be along in the morning my lovely xx

Sent from my Nexus 7 using SalonGeek

 

[laurakate]

Laura Kate, I didn't want to just read and run. Its late right now n my logical head has already gone to sleep so I'm sending you some hugs cause I reckon right now you need a friendly notion.
I'm sure some other geeks will be along in the morning my lovely xx

Sent from my Nexus 7 using SalonGeek

Thank you <3 im going out of my mind here so I really appreciate your kind words at this time of night xx

 

[Pixie28]

I know how you are feeling. I think we all go thought something like that in our lives, be it with work or home life.
Things always seem worse at night so try and get some sleep and think on it tomorrow with a clear head.
Maybe make a list with your worries on and see if it helps getting it on paper. Then you can try and go from there.

Hugs xx

 

[Pixie28]

Also if you are miserable being employed, have you ever thought about renting a room etc? X

 

[Ashleigh_21x]

I can understand where your coming from my sweets. I've been there, and I think most other geeks will have been too. Is it confidence in treatments your lacking? Or a bit of self esteem? Do you know your worth and how important you actually truly are?

The employer thing I can 100% tell you I'm in the exact same boat. It's all empty promises and let downs. I now take everything with a teeny pinch of salt, as I know not all statements will be followed through with.

Self employment is something I am building up to, getting money behind me and building my kits. It could be an option for you too.

Chin up toots

Ash xxx

 

[Holistic2010]

Good morning all,


As an employer can I just point out we are not all bad! I'm one of the best you will find out there, and take my staff training and development very seriously indeed. However it does work both ways....

Recently I've been pooped on from a large height, invested hundreds (in fact more than that) on training someone up for them just to leave and not repay their training fees as part of their contract with me. This is dreadful, and I've now lost a lot of faith in future employees.

So please listen when I say it can work both ways, and it can be worse for us as employers, and as such it can give us a bad name!!! Simply not true for many of us on here I'm sure :Love:

 

[Min]

hi

i think you should try to start building a client base with a future goal to become self employed.

thats what i am doing, im shy and people take total advantage of that. they would have me doing everything, like i was their slave if i was employed now and i would be to scared/shy to answer back. that's why im not employed at the moment and trying to set up from home.

i will only have myself to blame if things dont work out, if im the boss. like you i am very good at what i do, so i know once i get clients i be earning loads. clients trust me, so i will be able to sell, sell and sell too.

ill be in a situation to sack rude clients and to continue my training, something which is so important to me. for the person i am, i know self employment is the way forward in my life.

 

[laurakate]

Thanks everyone. In terms of my role as an employee, I'm doing the best I can do in terms of taking control of my own destiny. I am going to do as much in terms of my own training and development as I can.

I don't think I have the balls to be self employed and even if I did, I'm not sure to what extent that would genuinely appeal to me in all honesty but it is something that I will keep in my mind.

As I said to myself in my last job "take responsibility for your own success, don't leave it in their hands" which is empowering in a way but it's still very frustrating that there are just some product brands that I may not be able to train in as a result.

In terms of me working overtime and being super flexible and helpful and accommodating, does the company I work for now have the same level of commitment from me after giving me this blow? Probably not to be completely fricking honest. Once bitten twice shy and all that.

Alas, must stay positive, I'm going to try and achieve as much as I can there but see it for what it is.

 

[Spa Therapist]

Hi,

I've not really got anything helpful to say I'm afraid:o but I just wanted to say that I've been a therapist for 6 years and worked in quite a wide variety of settings in several parts of the country and I've found them all to be like this. I think part of the problem is the high staff turnover that's spas and salons tend to suffer. They just don't want to train people then have them leave. I'm not saying this is right - I think its terrible that a large percentage of therapists in spas are actually not trained in the product ranges they use and retail! I can see both sides though.

I work as a temp now so I regularly complete shifts at places I've never worked before and with products I haven't trained with. If it's any consolation I've found that I've definitely become more adaptable and much less easily phased by the unknown!

When you work with a brand for a few years you will pick up most of what you need to know anyway. If you read the product manuals, research their key ingredients and possibly use testers/samples yourself as much as possible. That way you will still be able to recommend products to your clients and feel confident in your treatments.

Hope I've not rambled too much x

 

[laurakate]

Hi,

I've not really got anything helpful to say I'm afraid:o but I just wanted to say that I've been a therapist for 6 years and worked in quite a wide variety of settings in several parts of the country and I've found them all to be like this. I think part of the problem is the high staff turnover that's spas and salons tend to suffer. They just don't want to train people then have them leave. I'm not saying this is right - I think its terrible that a large percentage of therapists in spas are actually not trained in the product ranges they use and retail! I can see both sides though.

I work as a temp now so I regularly complete shifts at places I've never worked before and with products I haven't trained with. If it's any consolation I've found that I've definitely become more adaptable and much less easily phased by the unknown!

When you work with a brand for a few years you will pick up most of what you need to know anyway. If you read the product manuals, research their key ingredients and possibly use testers/samples yourself as much as possible. That way you will still be able to recommend products to your clients and feel confident in your treatments.

Hope I've not rambled too much x

The irony is that its the lack of training that makes me leave/want to leave a job because it makes me feel that what im giving isnt being returned. I need more than the antisocial hours and low pay.

The only plus I can take from this is that if everywhere is like this then I guess its nothing personal.

Hmmm....

 

[lilacm]

Hi Laura,

Have they provided you with any in-house training in the products? It is very difficult for salons as well we have almost 30 team members so to send everyone on training can be incredibly expensive. Have you been with the company for a while? I think it's reasonable not to do training till you have completed your trial period and worked for someone for a good few months at least.

Have they mentioned rescheduling the training? Sometimes in salons things happen like sickness etc that means training has to be pushed back so perhaps they are rescheduling it for another time??

 

[Chrysalis]

Could you plug the gaps in your knowledge by reading around products and treatments on line ? Perhaps look into one item a night and before you know it youll know all the active ingredients, how they work, who they best suit?
It may help improve your confidence till formal training comes along.

 

[Kim Lawless]

Give me three specific examples of why you feel crap at work. :Love:

 

[Beautyandme]

You said it yourself "your good at what you do" - dont forget that.

 

[laurakate]

Could you plug the gaps in your knowledge by reading around products and treatments on line ? Perhaps look into one item a night and before you know it youll know all the active ingredients, how they work, who they best suit?
It may help improve your confidence till formal training comes along.

That's the frustration really, I'm very confident with the product, I just want to get my hand on that certificate that I believe would finally function as proof of that.

 

[laurakate]

How is being told 'no' humiliating? People (and employers) have all sorts of pressures and issues that may be nothing to do with you, and you are blissfully unaware of.
I wonder what you'd be like if you suffered a REAL setback in life, if being told no has you humiliated and upset enough to whine on a forum?
You're in the big bad world of work now. Time to accept or change. If you hate having an employer, then start a salon. If you don't want to be responsible for paying your own wages, then accept that employers have an agenda, and sometimes it's not all about you.

It's humiliating because being told I am going to get something makes me go the extra mile and then some...coming in at a few hours short notice, covering sickness, rescheduling things in my personal life to a big degree. It's humiliating because it's like having this carrot on a stick held infront of you that is continually moved away. I don't like being made an idiot out of because that's what it feels like.

 

[laurakate]

Give me three specific examples of why you feel crap at work. :Love:

I'm glad you asked this because I'm thinking it's an exercise in getting me to think around it? Well it got me thinking anyways...if I had to give three examples of why I feel crap at work it's nothing to do with a lack of capability, skill and effort on my part...it's pretty much coming from the employer rather than me.

When I put it that way, it makes me think that maybe there's only so much I can do...to use the old cliché, it's not me, it's them and I guess it's just a case of playing the game and going with it.

.............

I really do value training to what is perhaps an unhealthy extent because it does mean a lot to me to get proof that "hey this person can use these products and knows what they're talking about" because I take my professional development very seriously.

That said, I think the best way I can empower myself (and it isn't easy) is to remember that in this ever thriving industry yet struggling economy, product brands come and go and even if they stay around for a long time I guess they change to the extent that the product training can become dated and possibly even invalid after a few years time. In this respect, I think maybe the best thing I can do is focus on training that I can do in the sense that if I go and do a city and guilds qualification (for example) an employer can't take that away from me and it will be valid and relevant for years to come. Also, in terms of working in spas, will I be doing it in 10 years time? (I highly doubt it!) five years? (not likely) two years? (slightly possibly but perhaps not)....like even though it's really hard to swallow now, does it really matter in the long run? will it affect my long term goals in life? guess not. I NEED to empower myself with this one somehow because I can't keep working every hour under the sun at work to try and appease people (that's probably more of a me thing that I need to work on) who don't make my ambitions feel valued. Like why give other people the power and satisfaction.

I've told myself the above before but now I really need to start believing it and implementing it in my mind a lot more because I think that would be the strongest and wisest way to get through with it.

I need to go into work and see it for what it is: experience. Sure, I believe the value of that experience if heightened through product training but having said that product training doesn't always reflect a therapists general attitude and capabilities. I'm disappointed but I need to go into work with a reasonable attitude because I DO want to be in the industry in some capacity overall.

Hmmmm...It's a tricky one isn't it? Thanks for all you comments so far everyone

 

[lilacm]

Can you tell us what the training is that you wanted to do??

 

[laurakate]

Can you tell us what the training is that you wanted to do??

It might take away the relief of being anon on here so regrettably I won't be telling you (sorry! :o )