Text Buddies - To Text Or Not To Text?

[newatnails]

Hi there fellow geeks.
I need a bit of advice really and your thoughts on this one. I have been with my partner for 7 years nearly, we have a 4 year old son and as you can see with live in Spain and have been now for nearly 2 years. Life here is good, but it has been hard and taken it's toll on our relationship, moreso this year, we have nearly split on a couple of occasions, but I thought we were on our way up. I once found some messages on my partners phone from someone he had got to know thru work, and they were quite sexy really, they had obviously been flirting with each other alot, and I also found out he had been out with this girl on a night out with her and her friends, he promised me that nothing had happened, and I decided to believe him and give our relationship ago. We have since moved here, and things got as bad as I thought they could ever get, we were leaving each other, I thought he was having an affair, things were just not right, he lives away from us in the week, but I never found out wether he was or not. He left, came back and I took him back (again), and things have been so much better, we are both making a real effort and enjoying being with each other again, but in the last 4 weeks, I have noticed from time to time his phone is on silent, most weekends, and he seems to keep it to himself alot more than usual, which got me suspicious again. Anyway, last weekend just gone, I had a nosy in his phone and found a message to someone saying, 'I hope you get there safely and I will miss youxx'. Now I don't know what to make from this, because I have had my suspicions again lately, as there's usually one night a week, I don't get hold of him on his phone and he gives me some lame excuse as to why he didn't answer his phone etc..., There's other things, but as for when he is with me and our son he is fine, I never find any missed calls on his phone or anything when it is on silent - Sorry it's a long one, but what do you think ?

 

[Kim Lawless]

I think you know the answer to this one don't you????

 

[Vetty]

I think you already know what you think and you want someone to back it up in your mind..... Also, it's very hard for any of us to give you advice without being in your situation......

My advice? Talk to him, but only if you're prepared to hear what he might have to say.....

HTH's

 

[Kim Lawless]

I always think that the best way forward in any situation is to decide what you want the outcome to be. Do you want him to stay? Go?

 

[EllaX]

i've been with enough cheater to know the signs....

 

[1999judy]

You have to decide whether you are going to ignore this and keep away from his phone or rethink your relationship mate.

 

[newatnails]

Thanks for your replies guys, you are right, I do know the answer, it's happened before on more than one occasion, I need to dig deep and find out what I really want to do, I want to have a happy family life, I want my son to have his father around him, and I want a loving partner (which I thought I had again), and on the surface things are really good with us, but I am not sure if I will ever trust my partner ever again! That's why I started snooping in the first place, but there was a few signs there too, which made me do it.

 

[newatnails]

Hi there fellow geeks.
I need a bit of advice really and your thoughts on this one. I have been with my partner for 7 years nearly, we have a 4 year old son and as you can see with live in Spain and have been now for nearly 2 years. Life here is good, but it has been hard and taken it's toll on our relationship, moreso this year, we have nearly split on a couple of occasions, but I thought we were on our way up. I once found some messages on my partners phone from someone he had got to know thru work, and they were quite sexy really, they had obviously been flirting with each other alot, and I also found out he had been out with this girl on a night out with her and her friends, he promised me that nothing had happened, and I decided to believe him and give our relationship ago. We have since moved here, and things got as bad as I thought they could ever get, we were leaving each other, I thought he was having an affair, things were just not right, he lives away from us in the week, but I never found out wether he was or not. He left, came back and I took him back (again), and things have been so much better, we are both making a real effort and enjoying being with each other again, but in the last 4 weeks, I have noticed from time to time his phone is on silent, most weekends, and he seems to keep it to himself alot more than usual, which got me suspicious again. Anyway, last weekend just gone, I had a nosy in his phone and found a message to someone saying, 'I hope you get there safely and I will miss youxx'. Now I don't know what to make from this, because I have had my suspicions again lately, as there's usually one night a week, I don't get hold of him on his phone and he gives me some lame excuse as to why he didn't answer his phone etc..., There's other things, but as for when he is with me and our son he is fine, I never find any missed calls on his phone or anything when it is on silent - Sorry it's a long one, but what do you think ?

Thanks also for your p.m's, it's nice to talk to people in similar situations, but at the end of the day it's up to me to work this one out.

 

[chantell simone]

sorry to hear about your situation

i know you will find the strength to do what you feel is best for you and your son

no one can tell you how to solve this but you will find your answers within yourself

be strong and it will all work out in the end