Anyone suffered from Post Natal Depression and did it ever go??

[Curzy]

Hi

I had my little boy 2 1/2 years ago in February 2003. After I had him I felt extremely low and this got progressivley worse. Only when I moved homes 9 months later and got a new health visitor I was diagnosed with Post Natal Depression. I decided to take Prozac and found that this really helped. I eventually come of this in July 2004.

I was fine for a little while but soon began to feel depressed, again it got worse and worse so I decided to go back onto prozac for another six months. Again I felt really well and able to cope.

I am now feeling really low again. I keep crying, find it hard to deal with everyday things and feel like I have lost the will to live. I feel like I am trapped in a dark hole with a big black cloud over me, and I really dont know what to do. No body seems to be able to help me. I feel so alone. It is as though everybody has heard it before, almost like I am crying wolf.

I wondered if anyone out there has experienced the same thing as me and how they overcome their depression. Also how long did peoples depression last. I know everyone is different but I am really interested in how others coped.

 

[nemotail]

My story is very similar my little girl was born in June 2003 and I was diagnosed with PND in February 2004. I was put on medication felt some better and came off it. Then 6 months later I started sinking again. Back on medication for a short time then busy busy with College etc I was fine. All through the hol's I have been feeling really low, my OH now works offshore and when he is away I am at home with my daughter alone. I feel really isolated and at times cant even find the will to get dressed. When I have something to do I put it off and often cry for no particular reason. I push everyone away because I feel like they dont understand and have said a lot more on here than I would ever tell anyone face to face.

I am determined not to go back on medication. I have thrown myself into nails tothe point of obsession over the last 2 months as I find when my mind is occupied I dont have time to feel like this. But it keeps coming back, sometimes it just feels like everything is wrong and I dont know how to fix it.

My daughter is wonderful and she is the only one who can brighten me when I am grey.

I am sorry I am not much help but just wanted to let you know you are not alone and offer you a hug :hug:

I would be really interested to hear how others have progressed.

KxXx

 

[Fingertips ND]

My god childrens mum was the same.

At the time her son was 1 and her and her husband were going to get divorced.

She fell out with his family and then started drinking.

She too was on 'happy pills' as she calls them.

When she went to see the doctor he suggested she stopped going out at weekend and to talk to her hubby and spend some more time as a family and not just with the baby on her own.

It turns out she was scared of getting close to baby no 2 incase baby no 1 started to feel neglected.

Anyway she talked with her husband and decided to stay together, worked things out with his family and slowly weaned herself off her pills.

Two years on she has had a baby girl and is happier than ever!

 

[*JOANNE*]

i suffered with depression when i first became pregnant, rob served with the marines in n.ireland throughout my pregnancy so i thought that was the course of my depression.
i then had my second child and got depression after about 6 weeks of giving birth, i was prescribed anti deppresents but they made me feel really nauseaous i was then given beta blockers.
i became obsessed with bleach(i had bleach burns on my hands) and tidyness i think if my house and children where clean i was coping so felt ok but if there was a break in my routine i would totally go to pot. i had panic attacks and felt at times especially in the bath....not bringing my head out of the water because it was such a calm silence feeling.
i didnt feel any hate for my kids more overly love to the point of obssesion with them.
i again got post natal depression after my third but new it was coming so i was stronger inside that i could cope a little better, the depression does lift but i have found that it is with me forever because every so often i get depression again, i get to the point where i am not happy with my life, i am unfullfilled.and dont knowhow to get better, i get confused about my marriage all symptoms of depression
i also found with me that contraception was another factor, too much hormone for a very hormonal person. luckily rob had the snip so i take nothing and my hormones have settled... i am a pmt nightmare, and not being on anything has helped.
imo depressed people usually have it for the rest of their lives(i will i feel) but you learn what the triggers are and how to cope and treat your relapses.
we cannot help it we dont feel depressed on purpose....god why would we.
if your friends wont listen.....we will.
there was a post a while ago on this very subject and alot of us have suffered your are not alone hun.
i ended up taking saint johns wart and a flower remedy( you pop it on your tongue when you get that panicy feeling).
i also had councelling which was given through refferal of my g.p so it may be worth mentioning.(totally free)
it is an illness and like other illnesses it needs long term treatment
hope we have helped you hunny...........big hugs for you and for others who are suffering too.

 

[Trinity]

Depression, post natal, or any other kind is an awful illness to have and you need to believe that it is an illness and as such needs treatment and care :hug:

I was on antidepressants a few years back after 10 years of complete hell and I've been incredibly lucky that with 6 months of medication and lots of very painful counselling sessions I managed to get out of the hole and have not looked back, but I was in a minority in only needing 6 months of medication and was quite prepared to be on them for a lot longer if necessary.

I understand the fear of being 'doped up' - feeling out of control or spaced, and the fear of becoming addicted in some way, but if you are not feeling able to cope then you really must see the Doctor and talk them honestly about how you feel. It is their job to support you, and the very fact that you fear they think you are 'crying wolf' is sympomatic of your situation at the moment :hug:

Depression is caused my many things, but I boiled all the jardon down in to a simple explaination that I had a chemical imbalance which the medication helps rectify.

If I apply that theory to other illnesses - headache, thrush, glandular fever, etc. then it doesn't feel quite so scary or unreasonable to be on them for a longer period of time and actually feel better at the end of it.

Take some time to visit your Doctor and talk to them :hug:

Trin
xx

PS - My mum was on and off antidepressants for 20 years so I know the fears and worries really well

 

[rachp]

I had my little boy Dec 2001 and suffered badly with pnd, i did not feel myself properly for a good 12 months, i too was given anti depressants, seroxat which has received very bad press since, i can vouch that it was horriffic, as others have said it is personality changing, not only was i depressed but confused, totally off the wall and felt like i had been posessed and i was someone else living in my body (if that makes any sense) it almost caused my marriage to breakdown. I eventually went to my doctor and asked him to change my tablets which he did and i began to get back to my old self. I eventually weaned myself down to 1/2 tablet a day and feeling very confident and proud when tragedy struck the family and my brother was killed in a road accident leaving his 2 year old boy without mum and dad (his mum was killed too in road accident 1 year before - sounds far fetched doesnt it!) anyway i went down the old slippery slope. Eventually I started to get better and came off tablets again, then beginning of this year had worst ever relapse, so here we go again back on tablets. I find myself constantly looking at others and asking WHY ME! why cant i just be happy and content with my life, gorgeous little boy, great hubby, everything fine, just cant think like that, its all part of the illness. Its a real curse and people dont understand unless they have been there, what annoys me more than anything is when people say "just snap out of it" I bloody wish i could believe me! - I bought a book which really helped me its called "Self help for your nerves" by Dr Claire Weeks - when i started reading it i was like "oh my god thats right, thats just how i feel" and she explains WHY which made me feel normal again. PHEW - sorry guys to go on but it helps when you think youre not on your own and realise that depression IS a real illness, you may not be able to see it but it is there like any other illness.

Keep talking it really helps!! XXXXXXXXX :hug: :hug: :hug:

Rach

 

[scattyfox]

PND is a nightmare and medication is one of th best things youc an tke, if you dont you a e prone to relapse, the dificult thin is gettin your medicaion right.

Its taken me 14years and finally mine is right and i only need it when life is really bad, you get to learn your triggers and deal with things in a diferent way. Counselling is excellent if you can get it, but the most important thing i was told is do something for you, that i why I do nails and have to say I ahve bad days but no medication in nearly a year although i always have them in he cupboard as a physcological crutch, running out can drive me mad.

Big hugs going out to you hun call me if you need to talk anytime night or day. i remember what 3am in the morning feels like and it ain't good.
x

 

[Lellipop]

I am probably a little different(Understatement) from the other cases, I did suffer severe pnd after my first child, But it was left un-noticed and untreated for 18months, I would cry hourly and just wanted to end it all.
I did go on to treatment and my illness improved but never went, I was diagnosed with bi-polar depression a year later. I was in and out of hospital for the next 6 years and had 3 suicide attempts (I am finding it verydifficult to even write this now). I am on tablets these do get very bad press, But without them I swear to god I would not be here today. I live with my illness and even went on to have a 2nd child, It does pee me off that some people see depression as something you can just shake off if this was the case I wouldn't be ill. Some people have pnd and recover to never get any form of depression again, Some will have many bouts, for others it can trigger off more serious illness's. The key is to get help take tablets for as long as is needed and don't suffer alone.
There is always light at the end of the tunnel no matter how dark it may feel at the moment.
Please dont beat yourself up for how you feel, Its an illness like any other and things will get better.

 

[Prosperity]

My baby is now a year and i feel, looking back that I had undiagnosed PND and still suffering in some ways and now its shows itsself in other ways and havent been quite right or felt well or in control for a year.

I love him to bits and adore every minute but the responsibilty is overwhelming.

I have good days and bad days and just hope that one day i can relax and feel more in control.

I am also so very tired and cant be bothered to do things a lot of the time whih I have never been like. Cant even be bothered to make myself lunch.

I suppose the only answer is to seek help and if yu dont get it with the first 'expert' just keep going back and asking for more and more help.

xx

 

[kimi]

Hi

PND is more common then any of us realise, but many Mums dont want to admit to it as they see themselves as weak.

I had pnd after my 2nd baby back in 2002, and it took a friend to point it out to me and made me seek medical advice. They put me on medicine, which helped so much. One thing the doctor did say to me though was however long you think you have been suffering with PND double it because whatever you think it took a while to get to this situation, and it will take that time and more to get over it.

Things do get better but keep going to see the doctor, they will help you. If you dont think your doctor is helping, go to another.

Talk to other people, talk to us if it helps, but whatever you do dont bottle it up, there are so many of us that know how you feel.

Kimi

 

[nat6375]

Hi
I had pnd with both my children the first 9 years ago was awful cryed all the time didnt get up and didnt want to speak to anyone, i went on seroxat which now is not used due to adverse side affects, when i came off them it took two weeks to get them out of my system, i was a complete wreck!:sad: I then went onto prozac and found it very helpful and felt happy and human again was on it for a very long time then was ready to stop taking them....or so i thought started to get the same old symptoms back again so was straight back on them until i fell pregnant then had to stop.
Ater my son was born i started going downhill so went back to the prozac but this time it didnot work so changed to lustral, im on quite a high dose but feel fantastic, medication can be used for the short term but there is no shame in staying on it longer, i have been on my meds for two years and joke to the docter that i never want to stop taking them as i feel so great!:wink2: I know some may think that with medication you are just masking the real problems but not everyone has a reason it can be a chemical imbalance in the brain....sorry am totaly going on it just really gets to me when there are so many people suffering from PND or depression and feel like the worlds caving in on them it is so scary and i really feel for you.:|
Another thing i found helped was taling to people who can really relate to you, your post was a good start and if you go onto the net docter website there ar loads of forums and people on there the same as alot of us just needing to chat and it helps to see you are not the only one.:hug:

So sorry i have got completely carried away....you can all wake up now i have finished lol

xxx

 

[Lellipop]

i went on seroxat which now is not used due to adverse side affects

Fab post, But the above statement is not true lots of gp's and psychiatrists do use seroxat still, I take seroxat and the side-effect issues don't effect everyone. There was a lot of scare mongering over the drug on panaroma a while back, The main problem with seroxat and the other 5ht anti-depressants is the withdrawal symptoms you get when coming off them, But if done slowly this is not a problem.

 

[Curzy]

Thank you to everyone who has PM'd me. Reading these posts has given me great comfort in realising that I am not alone in suffering from this illness. It is nice to hear some honest feelings of how others feel.

Knowing that some of you have reoccuring depression has also given me comfort. I was led to believe by professional that once that first dose of treatment finished I would be cured. Perhaps I was a bit nieve in thinking this.:irked:

I hope this thread has helped others who are in the same situation as us and may be feeling the same way. You geeks are a real super bunch!!!!!!!!

 

[LindaH73]

I have suffered depression twice once after my first ectopic pregnancy and i found i just couldn't cope with life in general. I went to the doctors and was put on anti-depressants for a while these seemed to help and i eventually came off them and life returned to normal.

Quite recently i've been really depressed again. My little boy is 15 months and i felt as if i had no life. Only seeing people when i went to take my little girl to school, nothing to look forward to, crying all the time even told my hubby i didn't love him any more and wanted to leave. Thought about walking away from my life, family and friends.Generally feeling awful like i was in a black hole with no way out.I decided not to go onto anti-depressants this time and have been taking vitamin b complex and evening primrose.I also decided to try to take some positive steps in life. I am now learning to drive (i've had six lessons!) and i have found myself a full time job working for a bank (start on 19th September).Starting to feel human again!

Hopefully you will feel much better again and its nice to know other people go through the same thing!

 

[nat6375]

Fab post, But the above statement is not true lots of gp's and psychiatrists do use seroxat still, I take seroxat and the side-effect issues don't effect everyone. There was a lot of scare mongering over the drug on panaroma a while back, The main problem with seroxat and the other 5ht anti-depressants is the withdrawal symptoms you get when coming off them, But if done slowly this is not a problem.

hi, yes you are right sorry for confusion it was my doctor that do not prescribe the drug due to the withdrawal symptoms and also some adverse side effects whilst on the drug which of course as you said does not affect everyone, i did suffer quite badly coming off them, but not everyone will! hope i havnt confused or worried anyone:o
It can take a while for a person to find the right medication but once you do it is great to start feeling humsn again

xxxx

 

[kittenclaws]

i was 15 when i had my son and 12 months and 5 days later i had a daughter, i had an alcaholic partener and life was very bad, i suffered very bad postnateal depression, one night things came to a head and i took an overdose, it wasnt a cry for help, i really thought dying was the answer, one of my friends found me and i got help, at the time i couldnt see past tomarow never mind the rest of my life, even adverts on tv of happy families would have me sobbing, i wouldnt leave the flat and the darkness in my mind just got darker,
i had no selfesteme and didnt think i could look after the kids,

this went on for about 4 years, i rattled with the amount of pills i was on in the end i was diagnosed with clinical depression as it wouldnt shift

one day i got out of bed went to take the pills but decided not to i wanted a life, i tidied the house, got dressed and went to a mum and toddler group, and all i can say is i have never looked back,

what im saying hunny is depresion will try to control you, but you can beat it, its not easy and there may be knock backs but you can do it, get out to mother and toddler groups etc
be spontaneous, if its a bright sunny day stuff the housework and go to the beach and have some happy sun

you have an inner strength you dont know about so you need to find it and use it,
im here if you wana scream shout or have a sholder to cry on:hug:

 

[Michybug]

I suffered with PND after my second child and refused to take anti depressants. I got thru it on Evening primrose oil capsules and vitamin B6 - its takes a month or three to kick in but really helped.

I also had counselling and the counsellor helped me to realise that I was a mum, a wife, a sister, a daughter and a dogs-body - I had lost my identity and did nothing for myself... she was right, every walk I took was with the kids, toddler club was for the kids, washing and iron for kids and house etc... So, I went back to horse riding once a week and got back an hour of ME TIME - unbelieveable difference it made.

PM'd you about Prozac too.

 

[Mrs.Clooney]

Curzy, I have pm'd you. Same here. REALLY BAD PND with first child. You have a lot of support here. You are not alone. Whether you suffer from PND or just clinical depression, we have all seen the bottom of big black pit and the faint light at the end of the tunnel sometimes ends up being the oncoming train. You need help and support. See you GP again and you will possibly need counselling as well. You can overcome this. I did and went on to have my second baby with no problems although I continued on the Prozac whilst preggie. My two beautiful children are proof that there is life after depression!

 

[inspirations]

Hi

I had my little boy 2 1/2 years ago in February 2003. After I had him I felt extremely low and this got progressivley worse. Only when I moved homes 9 months later and got a new health visitor I was diagnosed with Post Natal Depression. I decided to take Prozac and found that this really helped. I eventually come of this in July 2004.

I was fine for a little while but soon began to feel depressed, again it got worse and worse so I decided to go back onto prozac for another six months. Again I felt really well and able to cope.

I am now feeling really low again. I keep crying, find it hard to deal with everyday things and feel like I have lost the will to live. I feel like I am trapped in a dark hole with a big black cloud over me, and I really dont know what to do. No body seems to be able to help me. I feel so alone. It is as though everybody has heard it before, almost like I am crying wolf.

I wondered if anyone out there has experienced the same thing as me and how they overcome their depression. Also how long did peoples depression last. I know everyone is different but I am really interested in how others coped.

I have note read the rest of this post yet...but I feel that I need to reply and just let you know that I too have suffered it.

I think bringing up kids in general is really hard work. I have never been the same since I had my first. I too get waves of feeling ok and then really low. I don't medicate because when I have life feels too unreal to me. I felt like I was detached from the world on ADs.

I believe that I got over post natal depression, but each milestone in their life brings more mixed emotion. I just try to keep positive thoughts in my head when I start to feel low. I won't let myself sit down and think too hard. I try to make the most of each day and look for positive things around. It oculd be simple like beautiful countryside, birds singing. Sometimes if you just make yourself smile, you can bring yourself out of it.

I bought a (sorry, my husband bought me) great book called "Women who think too much". It is a great help in the fact that it basically says that if we think negative thoughts, we become negative. We need to say to ourselves "STOP". Change what we are doing, like get up and go for a walk or exercise and don't reflect on bad memories, occurances, etc.

Since this book, I do find myself slipping into "Oh I remember when this awful thing happened to me...bla bla". I feel myself getting depressed and I shout at myself to stop it. Then, I find something to do and it passes.

I hope I have helped. What I am trying to say is that if we think happy thoughts naturally, we can relax and our seratonin levels will replace themselves naturally. Medication for me didn't work because I needed to change my thought patterns, otherwise I would keep going back on it.