Being an employee causes me so much stress sometimes

[laurakate]

I've been reading over the threads I've started here on salon geek over the last few years and a high amount of them are asking about advice on how to deal with situations that occur when in employment in the industry.

My recent stress is derived from having booked on/paid for a training course under my own steam and I'm worried that this will offend my employer as the course training provider asked where I worked in order that they could set me up on the training so I'm now anxious that it'll look like I've gone over someone's head when I totally didn't mean it to look that way.

I nearly always worry about offending the company I work for. It's been the same in most jobs I've had and it's mentally exhausting. I don't know if it's because I need to grow a pair and stop worrying and stop giving people power over me or if it's because I'm a very intelligent young woman who would be better off at looking at self employment (or doing something else entirely!) where I can celebrate and reward my intelligence by not having to answer to things that I don't always agree with. Like I'm tired of feeling that I need to ask for things and then kicking myself for not being assertive. I'm tired of not feeling in control when I have every level of intelligence to potentially make that a possibility. I don't know if it's a me thing or a working for other people thing but I'm tired of fearing consequences and tellings off that I don't always feel are justified. I'm tired of feeling that I need to justify myself when it comes to wanting holiday and time off.

I'm a good worker and I don't present a bad attitude. The above is what goes on in my head rather than comes out of my mouth or is shown in actions.

Is this the train of thought that a lot of people go through before becoming self employed? I don't know if I want to do that either to be honest.

I just want to know what to make of how I'm feeling really. Help!

 

[Baggybear]

Why do you think your employer would be against you furthering your education?

I'm self employed but can't think of any reason why an employer would be upset that you have arranged and paid for further training.

It would be benefitting the employer as they would then have another member of staff able to offer that service (if it was one they already offered) or someone to offer the new treatment and it would not have cost them anything (except the kit if it is a new treatment).

 

[laurakate]

Why do you think your employer would be against you furthering your education?

I'm self employed but can't think of any reason why an employer would be upset that you have arranged and paid for further training.

It would be benefitting the employer as they would then have another member of staff able to offer that service (if it was one they already offered) or someone to offer the new treatment and it would not have cost them anything (except the kit if it is a new treatment).

I'm just worried because I said to the company that I want to do the training through myself rather than my employer (who they asked me to name) because the training opportunities through the employer are much less frequent. And so as a result I'm anxious that I've made my employer look bad to the company that they have an account with because it feels like I've said "they're not promoting your product enough" :S

 

[Min]

I could have written this post myself, a part from the fact I am not employed, lol.
I have learn more about how to deal with situations and people by reading posts on salon geek.
The more I read about the way others handle situations the more confident I feel, if I had to deal with them.
Personally, i doubt your boss will have a problem with what u done. You had to give the info. It's not like she is paying you under the table and you have to hide your employment from the government or something.
It's extremely unlikely your boss will notice, unless you tell her yourself.
I wish u all the best.

 

[Leely]

If I had an employee who wanted to further there education / skills and done this off their own back with out me asking them too. I would be really pleased they had decided to do this them self.

The company you are training with will they be getting in touch with your employer? x

 

[laurakate]

To be fair I am a highly paranoid person and I really like the people I work with. I'm just constantly worried about offending and then either being in a tough atmosphere or with no job at all as a result. In my head I am governed by fear and worry. Maybe I always fear the worst from other people towards me. Maybe it is a me thing.

I'm looking forward to the training, I just worry that the company I've booked with will phone the employer and say that I've put myself on training an that it should be them doing that in order to promote the product more. Do you think that would happen?

What I would like to happen is for everyone to be pleased that I've invested in myself to help me and to help the employer and so everyone wins *fingers crossed!*

Edit: I'm just anxious because I think on the phone the company sounded a bit put out maybe when I explained why I didn't want to open a whole account myself.

 

[Baggybear]

I think your expecting a problem where there just isn't one.

Even if the training company get in touch with your boss (which they shouldn't do) then your boss should be chuffed to bits that you have paid to train and save her from having to pay (as I said in my first post).

The only reason your boss might get concerned is if she thinks you are training so you can go off and become self employed or work elsewhere - but even if this is the case she will benefit from your training in the time you are still employed by her & she has not had to pay out for the benefit (an extra therapist able to perform the treatment).

 

[laurakate]

I think your expecting a problem where there just isn't one.

Even if the training company get in touch with your boss (which they shouldn't do) then your boss should be chuffed to bits that you have paid to train and save her from having to pay (as I said in my first post).

The only reason your boss might get concerned is if she thinks you are training so you can go off and become self employed or work elsewhere - but even if this is the case she will benefit from your training in the time you are still employed by her & she has not had to pay out for the benefit (an extra therapist able to perform the treatment).

"I think your expecting a problem where there just isn't one."....this sounds familiar to where my head has gone with other work related situations. Maybe years of career hopping and periods of unemployment in the past have made me paranoid and fearing the worst and a bit clingy and fearful of things going wrong when I have a job. Thank you for saying this because it struck a chord with me.

I've often paid for my own product training but not wanted to pay for the kit what with being employed rather than self employed. I guess it just threw me because I've never been asked who I work for before (they said they needed to know). I did say to the company not to tell the employer so it'd be a surprise (bit cringe but yeah).

Worst case scenario: all the fears in my head come true and I'll handle it because that's all I can do.
Best case scenario: appreciation and respect received for my enthusiasm.

*Breaths*!!!

Thank you

 

[Pure secret]

I have two businesss and I would love employees have a mindset, to be self driven and motivated like you girls. You are worth so much more, as an employee there is only so far you can ever go and no matter how safe you think your jobs are, you never actually have security. But in the instance of being self employed unless you build yourself a asset and not a small business you will never free to have time off ect. I am looking for serious self motivated business partners who want more than a regular 9-5 job, please do yourself the biggest favour ever and call me if you are open to looking at new opportunities. 07725996595. If not, good luck in what you're doing

 

[sophiegees]

I am just like this with worry. It just stays in my head and won't leave. I found out I have OCD have one pill a day and it has helped so much. I still worry more than most but I can live with that. Hope this helps x

 

[laurakate]

maybe I should look into the ocd thing because there are other areas where I worry I have symptoms of this.

 

[ChicMich]

I feel like you've taken the words out of my mouth! I have recently went on a training course coz my employer said they can't afford it so I thought fine ill do! So I booked it then they say they'll reimburse me, but tbh I was happy I booked it coz it means ill get friends and family who want to have the treatment done and its a great money maker for any salon business!
Anyways so I've been and done the training and still no money! But over my last few salons I've worked for I learn a lot from each of them a s I feel sometimes that I am my best boss! So I still work for my current employer but I am making changes to start my own mobile business because I worry about everything even when there is no need to worry. I just want to take over and run it myself but then I realise I want my own business and I know I will be happy and won't worry because I have great ideas and they never stop flowing in!

So if you feel like me why not do it too??

And Hun don't worry honestly, everything will work out 😊❤

 

[Solsken]

First, stop worrying about what they think.
Second, you didn't need to give an answer why you didn't want to open a wholesale account. You can answer "not yet. I want to train and see what I think first"
It doesn't matter.

You need to educate yourself for YOURSELF. If I EVER had an employer angry that I wanted to go to a course (that *I* paid for), then my first thought would be that it is time for a new employer. There is zero reason to work for someone who doesn't want you to improve yourself.

It's not "growing a pair" issue. It seems like there are other issues that make you timid and want to be a people pleaser, but you have to know you're worth it all too.

All you need to say if asked is, "Your training isn't done often, and I wanted to do this sooner, not later, so I paid for myself and I'm doing it." that makes you sound like you care about yourself, and honestly the biz too. You're growing the biz by offering another service you couldn't do before... again, AT YOUR EXPENSE.

the key is right there. If you wanted the training and demanding the business to pay - you're in a different situation. As this isn't the case, relax and stop worrying.
You're stressing yourself and making it all worse than it should be.

There are so many better things to get anxious and stressed over (trust me!) than this. Let it go and just do the training... and more if you want!

 

[AcidPerm]

It's a shame that your anxiety is affecting your working life so much at the moment.

If you are worrying and having lots of conversations in your head where you are trying to predict what someone else will do/say, then you might be over thinking things. I don't think it's simply about you not being assertive enough though.

How do you handle someone disagreeing with you or criticising your choices etc? Does it make you feel fearful and anxious? You could consider trying CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) to help you cope better with difficult situations.

There are other options too, but I wondered if the anxiety thing is at the heart of the problem for you, rather than just an issue about booking some extra beauty training?

Sorry, if I'm mis-reading the situation. :hug:

 

[Min]

I am just like this with worry. It just stays in my head and won't leave. I found out I have OCD have one pill a day and it has helped so much. I still worry more than most but I can live with that. Hope this helps x

Omg! I could have OCD too. I think think n think no stop. Most if it is negative. I have always known, I am my own worst enemy.
When u see the doctor next ill mention this. Thank u