Dealing with anxiety in your salon

[PaigeRegina15]

Hi everyone I was looking for any advice on how to deal with anxiety. I have it badly when it comes to dealing with any unhappy clients (not that I get a lot) but when I do I can start to feel myself on a downwards spiral. My mouth gets dry I feel shaken, and extremely nervous, I can hold it together but i feel as though i want to cry and run away. I feel so pathetic like a different person. I have had this all my life and it really is hard for me. Luckily I am my own boss as the though of anyone shouting at me makes me die! If any one has some advice on any coping mechanisms that would be fantastic.

Thanks everyone

 

[EmilieMorv]

Hi girl,

I know all too well how you feel, it's usually provoked when I have to perform and I'm really afraid I'll mess up and Igey really anxious when I get critique - but you should try to check out if you can find a psychologist who can help you handling your anxiety - so they can give you some "mental tools"

 

[Verve Designs]

A lot of my clients would probably be surprised to hear this (as I'm usually quite "blunt"), but I suffer from this quite a bit myself.

I'm CONSTANTLY checking emails from dusk until dawn, and if I have anyone who's not 100% happy- I simply don't sleep. I've ruined entire weekends because I've had a slightly odd client and I'm fretting over it (despite that fact the client probably isn't remotely bothered in the slightest and is just getting on with their live while I'm worrying over a £15 business card!)

The really odd thing is that I've never had a REALLY bad complaint in over 10 years- but I keep thinking there's one around the corner, despite evidence to the contrary...it's really weird!

The problem, I think, is that I work so bloody hard, and like my job so much- I can't bear not being able to do it because it's "taken" away from me. Working for myself actually has made it slightly worse because it's all my responsibility now if there's a problem.

So, not advice per se, because I'm as bad as anyone- but just wanted you to know you're not alone!

*I actually think this "anxiety" - oddly - is also a key ingredient in what makes me good at my job, If I didn't care, then my work wouldn't be half as good. So, I take the rough with the smooth.

 

[Verve Designs]

....Just thought I'd add, in case it's any use. A little "coping mechanism" I do is that I just don't over-promise anything.

I lay it flat out what the clients expectations ought to be before I take anyone on (to the extent where I've turned business away because I don't think I can help), as the thought of someone being unhappy at the end is unbearable!

99 times out a 100 I've UNDER promised what I can do and then the client is often pleasantly surprised!

Works for me!

 

[RED STAR]

I'm with 'verve' on this one.....
It's because WE CARE - probably too much.
The fear of failing or disappointing in some way, is always at the back of our minds.
You cannot help the way you are, you just have to learn ways of managing it!
As verve has said, I make sure, at consultation, the client is clear on what is achievable....I will not proceed if I have any doubt that the appointment will end well!
IF IN DOUBT - DON'T!

 

[EmilieMorv]

I still think you should go to a psychologist - especially if it's something you've suffered from most of your life! It's a serious issue and it needs to be treated as such - mostly because anxiety leaves your body in an almost constant state of distress, which in the long run is not healthy at all!

I know the feeling of underestimating oneself and because of that, end up being a perfectionist in a not entirely healthy way - constantly fretting over if your customers are happy or what happens if I mess up etc..
And I can especially see how much it can affect you - or even amplify your feelings as you're running your own business..
But the important thing here is admitting that it is a problem - and then go about trying to work your way around these feelings!
You can't change HOW you feel, but you can change how you handle those feelings! The way of handling anxiety or phobia is through 'gradual exposure' - and learning to take your focus away from these feelings and thoughts you have - "showing" that anxious part that it's going to be ok, by exposing yourself to those slightly uncomfortable situations.. But that's what a psychologist can help you with!


Wow.. Pep talk Emmy here anyhow, I hope there's something you can use, otherwise you're welcome to message me!

 

[PaigeRegina15]

Thank you everyone for all your support its so nice to know that people are here to help and not judge! Really appreciate all the advice. x

 

[CocoAllure]

I will admit that I too suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and I have had full on melt downs in unusual situations and in front of a client is not a good look! I used to sweat and then get more worked up over sweating and then I'd lose control and leave the room. It was really bad at one point for me but the only thing that helped was a change in medication. I also see a counsellor as I have pre trial therapy which helps too as I have a trial coming up. But I would say go speak to your GP there are channels for help

 

[Beckybee]

I don't suffer from it, but I was abit shy when I first went into business. I worked in my dads shop from school. I could never argue or debate with people.

When I met hubby, I mentioned this and we used to play a game.....

One night I put the tea on the table, and he said lets play argue. The rules are no personal attacks, stick to the topic. As soon as one calls the other one fatty or ugly then you lose.

So he starts with saying this food is terrible and he can't eat it etc, I had to argue back saying it was fine and he's too picky. Tbh it only lasted a few minutes before we fell about laughing, but it learnt me to think quicker, argue my case, and more importantly stick up for myself.

Try it.

 

[Titterbug]

I don't suffer from it but both my teenagers do....they both see counsellors about it...the doctor told me about a good book called ' don't panic' got it from Amazon.....I am on the other end of it to calm my teens down and help them work through their anxiety/panic attacks ....it's not a nice thing and can be mentally draining for all involved I hope this helps!!! Xx