Zooks
Well-Known Member
Hi Geeks
This is my first time of posting in chit chat. I normally use it just for business but I need a bit of an outlet, so I hope you don't mind but it may be a long one and I am feeling rather emotional.
I am feeling a little lost with a few things at the moment and it's all getting on top of me. I am in the process of trying to leave the salon I am in, it's been a little rough for a while and I may have the chance to open my own salon, I'm just not 100% I could make it work. To be honest that is kind of on the back boiler at the minute as my main concern is my relationship.
We have been together for 5 years, I am 29, and we have known each other since school. He is absolutely my best friend and I want him in my future but lately I have been having major doubts as to whether we are truly meant to be. We don't talk like we used to or laugh together like we used to, most evenings I am sat on here researching and he sits on his Ipad. When we go out it's a little stilted between us and can feel a little forced but then other times it's totally fine and I wonder why I have questioned it. We do live in each others pockets a little as most of my friends have moved away and I only stayed for him so I know this is something I need to work on. I started my business 2 years ago, I am pretty ambitious, and have been money watching ever since so I know I have been a little uptight and probably not a whole lot of fun. He has struggled with money as long as I can remember and he had promised me he was sorting it out and that he wasn't in debt any more. It all came to a head recently when I used his phone, he was sat next to me, and a message came through from Lloyds saying just how much he was in debt. I obviously questioned him there and then. I was furious. Don't get me wrong, it's his money but he had lied to me and at the end of the day I want us to be able to afford our own house one day (We currently rent) and he knows this has always been something I wanted to work towards, he said it was something he wanted too so I was incredibly angry as he still managed to go out drinking etc
This was almost the straw that broke the camels back for me. I told him I had had enough and we talked for a few hours, he has said he just wants til Christmas to sort himself out and so far he has done what he said he would. I have always been better at money management than him and we sat down together and went through things to find out what he could change and he has done them all. He claims he didn't tell me because he felt like a failure and that he had let me down and I understand that.
We've been through a lot of tough times together and I know I can always rely on him to be there if I need him. He doesn't treat me badly he just hugely takes me for granted some times and I have got to a point where I feel like I could do with a bit Of looking after rather than the other way around. I want to feel like his girlfriend not his mother. We have a holiday booked over New Years with 2 friends, we booked before I found out about his money situation, and I have said I will give him til Christmas to sort himself out.
I don't even know what I expect you to say. I very much think our relationship is worth fighting for but I feel I am out of fight.
Do you think we can salvage it. Tell me I am not the only one that has had feelings like this and that we can come through the other side. Is there anything you would recommend doing? Have you been there?
At the minute I just want to go away by myself and take some time out.
Sorry for the essay.
This is my first time of posting in chit chat. I normally use it just for business but I need a bit of an outlet, so I hope you don't mind but it may be a long one and I am feeling rather emotional.
I am feeling a little lost with a few things at the moment and it's all getting on top of me. I am in the process of trying to leave the salon I am in, it's been a little rough for a while and I may have the chance to open my own salon, I'm just not 100% I could make it work. To be honest that is kind of on the back boiler at the minute as my main concern is my relationship.
We have been together for 5 years, I am 29, and we have known each other since school. He is absolutely my best friend and I want him in my future but lately I have been having major doubts as to whether we are truly meant to be. We don't talk like we used to or laugh together like we used to, most evenings I am sat on here researching and he sits on his Ipad. When we go out it's a little stilted between us and can feel a little forced but then other times it's totally fine and I wonder why I have questioned it. We do live in each others pockets a little as most of my friends have moved away and I only stayed for him so I know this is something I need to work on. I started my business 2 years ago, I am pretty ambitious, and have been money watching ever since so I know I have been a little uptight and probably not a whole lot of fun. He has struggled with money as long as I can remember and he had promised me he was sorting it out and that he wasn't in debt any more. It all came to a head recently when I used his phone, he was sat next to me, and a message came through from Lloyds saying just how much he was in debt. I obviously questioned him there and then. I was furious. Don't get me wrong, it's his money but he had lied to me and at the end of the day I want us to be able to afford our own house one day (We currently rent) and he knows this has always been something I wanted to work towards, he said it was something he wanted too so I was incredibly angry as he still managed to go out drinking etc
This was almost the straw that broke the camels back for me. I told him I had had enough and we talked for a few hours, he has said he just wants til Christmas to sort himself out and so far he has done what he said he would. I have always been better at money management than him and we sat down together and went through things to find out what he could change and he has done them all. He claims he didn't tell me because he felt like a failure and that he had let me down and I understand that.
We've been through a lot of tough times together and I know I can always rely on him to be there if I need him. He doesn't treat me badly he just hugely takes me for granted some times and I have got to a point where I feel like I could do with a bit Of looking after rather than the other way around. I want to feel like his girlfriend not his mother. We have a holiday booked over New Years with 2 friends, we booked before I found out about his money situation, and I have said I will give him til Christmas to sort himself out.
I don't even know what I expect you to say. I very much think our relationship is worth fighting for but I feel I am out of fight.
Do you think we can salvage it. Tell me I am not the only one that has had feelings like this and that we can come through the other side. Is there anything you would recommend doing? Have you been there?
At the minute I just want to go away by myself and take some time out.
Sorry for the essay.