Feeling deflated

[Brooke_09]

I 'qualified' in beauty therapy at 19 and don't get me wrong I love it but I am not good at it, its not natural to me. To be honest I just love to learn and I want to be good. Personally I think we were badly trained most treatments we were shown how to do once.. then we had clients come in to the college which is a whole different kettle of fish! but according to tutors I was the best in the bunch which shocks me to be honest! left college did a few trade tests but I was never good enough. so after my 5th trade test I decided enough was enough and went to work as a consultant at boots.

recently I have relocated abroad and my partner has made me start using my beauty. I am mobile and really busy but I am not a natural and most days I come home feeling pants because something went wrong or I could have done better. I have seen a bit of progress but I really do try and give it my all :/.

Anyway it's never good enough for my partner next week I am flat out busy and I have people still contacting for appointments and hes like fit them in fit them in to the point where I have no time away from it. Ive just been diagnosed with fibromiyalga so I am tired alot and carrying my couch, products etc is really taking its toll and I completely resent the whole thing.....

 

[pure]

Why is your partner being so pushy? My daughter has fibro and you really really need to look after yourself with this otherwise you'll get to the point where you can't work at all ! Might want to point that out to him!

Regarding treatments are there specific things you struggle with?

 

[AcidPerm]

...I decided enough was enough and went to work as a consultant at boots.
...recently I have relocated abroad and my partner has made me start using my beauty. ...I really do try and give it my all :/....
Anyway it's never good enough for my partner ... I completely resent the whole thing.....

Your partner is the problem here, not you!

He is being very controlling of you demanding that you work until you feel exhausted in an field that you are not 100% confident in.
You are clearly not happy with the current situation so you need to change it.

Firstly, I'd be having firm words with the partner and tell him to butt out of your work life.
You've given it a fair chance but you still don't really feel comfortable so it's time to find another job that leaves you feeling more satisfied and less tired.

 

[FlawlessBeauty]

Oh I so agree with these ladies. Your partner needs to sit down and have a good chat. Firstly who is he to push you like that, you'll end up resenting him and ruining your relationship. Partner means equals. Secondly why is he pushing you...is he worrying about money for some reason? Xx

 

[Brooke_09]

hi thank you for your responses. weve recently moved here so he is worried about money and his business isnt doing much at the moment. your so right I do resent him and our relationship sucks. ive tried talking to him but he just doesn't get it.

 

[FlawlessBeauty]

Bless you. Money issues make everything so tough. Could you go out for a totally chilled date night or something. Have a relaxed fun evening. Then talk again about how you're feeling and you understand his pressure but you need to pull together, not apart to make this work.

Do you want to carry on doing beauty or would you like to find another job or even work in a salon? X

 

[funtimefranko]

Aaarghh he needs to be told! Cheeky sod. You must be doing something right though else you wouldnt be so busy surely? X

 

[Waxon]

I know how you feel I own my own salon and I always feel like a failure, nothing is good enough. We are always out worst critics.

 

[Brooke_09]

Thank you for all your responses it really means a lot. I talk to him about it all the time, I put my foot down and said I am having today off which I've made sure I didn't book any clients but i am rammed this week and I will take home 350€ at the moment which apparently is still not good enough... I am at the point where everything is really painful which I won't go into too much detail. my partner said if I manage my time better like work 8-9 for four days he will let me have the three days off but I think it will be the same old story

 

[kerry33]

Who is he to 'let' you have days off?? It is your business and you should run it the way you want to!
If you are busy with your work, then you must be good at it, otherwise clients wouldn't keep coming back to you.
My sister in law suffers badly with fibro, it's a really horrible thing to deal with. She is often too poorly to work. You need to take care of yourself and not over do it.
If your partners business is not working then he should spend more time and energy in making his business work and leave you to manage yours.
Big hugs

 

[pure]

my partner said if I manage my time better like work 8-9 for four days he will let me have the three days off but I think it will be the same old story

Oh dear that is just so wrong I'm sorry. He's not your boss or your parent, he can't dictate what hours you work. You need to try and stand up for yourself and just say no! You're doing your very best in a difficult situation but the responsibility can't be all on your shoulders to make your new life together work. Does he work similar hours and bring in as much money as you?

 

[ButterflyQ]

I agree with everyone else. This isn't about beauty, this is about your partner. If my other half, who I live with, was dictating how and when I work I'd laugh in his face! Be your own boss, he shouldn't be deciding all these things for you!
You're really busy, so that shows you're obviously doing something right? Maybe if you took charge of YOUR business you'd feel more confident and better in yourself and your work? Good luck xxx

 

[kirstie1980]

Id be telling him to stop worrying about your business and to start worrying about his own. Id be telling him to quit with his controlling, demanding ways or f*ck off. I wouldnt be putting up with his crap. The more you do the more depressed you're gonna get and i dont want to sound harsh but if you allow him to treat you this way, its your own fault

 

[deamongirl]

You have to look out for yourself! I know that this is what you want to do, this is your passion but some people can really make it bad for you! I think you should tell him to go take a breather.

 

[Pollypocket85]

I agree with everything already said. Who is he to dictate your work schedule when he can't even get his business sorted. He needs to spend more time sorting out his career and less time interfering with yours. Sorry but he sounds like a major arsehole!

 

[Brooke_09]

Thank you for all your supportive replies kirstie1980 thanks for your input there! I am not usually a walk over I am incredibly strong which I have learnt over the years. Anyway I am starting to get back to it I had a fab day today and a new client recommend from an existing one. it is just hard with the fibro and everything else but dont worry I will get there! x

 

[Brooke_09]

Thank you for all your supportive replies kirstie1980 thanks for your input there! I am not usually a walk over I am incredibly strong which I have learnt over the years. Anyway I am starting to get back to it I had a fab day today and a new client recommend from an existing one. it is just hard with the fibro and everything else but dont worry I will get there! x

I am taking a week off to breathe get focused and kit butt! lol god help him.. no I am joking but I intend to get him more motivated x

 

[Brooke_09]

kick*

 

[Lin4744]

I'd like to meet this partner of yours - he obviously doesn't understand what the word partner means - move out into your own space and then you can have your clients come to you. He doesn't sound worth bothering with and you have proved you can survive on your income, especially if you are alone. If you don't want to be alone see if you can flat share with a bunch of girls??