Friendships

[ch-ela]

What do friendships mean to you? Are you a good friend?

How much energy do you put into your friendships? Do you wish you could put more in but don't have the time?

Have you been let down by people that you though were your friends?

 

[Abbie101]

Yes I wish I made more of an effort with my 2 friends, but since school I realised friends really do come and go as I current to speak to noone from school and it was only 4 years ago! My 2 friends are the ones I met through college doing beauty so we all share an interest ... When we do meet up it would always of been a few weeks so there loads to talk about and we get through a lot of wine haha I wouldn't pick a friend over my family though there the only ones that have really stuck by me <3 xx

 

[babychops]

I am one of those friends that puts in all the effort and doesn't get anything back. People tend to walk all over me as I am not good as standing up for myself. I have recently decided to distance myself from all of these "so called friends" and just keep the ones that are there for me when I need them x

 

[MissyMuffin]

I think I'm a good friend but I must admit to preferring the kind of friends I don't have to work hard with. I have nice friends I can see after a few weeks of no contact and nobody says 'where've you been?'
I have lost a friend of 14years because she judged me harshly and cut me out. That is something I wouldn't do. People are who they are and I don't like people who sit in judgement of others.

 

[Mobile Manicure]

I am one of those friends that puts in all the effort and doesn't get anything back. People tend to walk all over me as I am not good as standing up for myself. I have recently decided to distance myself from all of these "so called friends" and just keep the ones that are there for me when I need them x

This was me many moons ago. Not only did I not get anything back, they use to abuse my trust and friendship by trying to steel my boyfriends.

So unfortunately in my life, no trust remains. Only with my husband and my brother.

Over the years I've made many new friends who I thought were good 'uns only for them to shaft me yet again somehow. So nowadays the friends I have are not close, just people I can meet up for a coffee and a chat, go to dinner with in a group and maybe attend a school play with.

I do not have the kind of friend who I would ring up to have a natter with and quite frankly I'm happier that way. I no longer need people burdening me with their problems, my life is busy enough.

 

[facelashbrow]

I'm often shocked by peoples stories and rants about friends on this forum, I have a lot of girlfriends and I am a girls girl but I never go through all the cr@p thats on here. I dont know whether thats because I pick good friends or handle situations well or am a good friend myself... I dnt think it can just be luck! I only really stay friends with girls I click with and I dont bother with people who are negative as a person (we all have negative days/times) or draining. I will pull people up on things if they've upset me and stand up for myself, I'm really honest but diplomatic and I also see things from other peoples point of view. ..ie if someone is being hard work but they've just had a break up or their perspective is different from mine. I remember telling off my best friend for always being late and saying it was rude! but then we were fine 5 mins later, I dont hold a grudge. I have 7 "real" friends and several more friends I see often and care about but I don't see people I dont enjoy the company of anymore, figured I only have one life! I couldn't be without my friends though.

I've not had friend drama for a very long time, maybe 5 or 6 years when we were young (I'm 28) and not been shafted by anyone for longer. I just dont attract that type of person I think?

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[amys-beauty]

Same as you babychops, I'm always there for my friends but don't feel I get the same back. After my thread "friends hey" I distanced myself from this friend and she kept writing on twitter how she's loosing her friends! The situation before stressed me out so much I didn't get involved. She rang me after 3 weeks of barely talking n we chatted for an hour n a half! And went out for the day a couple of days after as if nothing happened! I just don't get too involved now! My cousin is like my best friend now and she's 7 years younger than me! We do a lot together n always there for each other when things go wrong

 

[Abbie101]

I remember my 'best friend' of 11 years ... We did everything together ... A day came when my dad had a serious accident at work and was very lucky to be alive ... When I found this out I was in tears as was all my family ... He had to stay in hospital for a while as he had an operation on his head (a pole cracked his skull which shattered and the was millimetres away from his brain) so was pretty serious!! Anyway the next day after finding this out we get a knock on the door ... No one expecting anyone ... It's my best friend standing there I thought awww she's caring and come to support us ... Oh no she turned up to talk about her break up with the boyfriend not one mention of how my dad is .. Me being me sat there listened gave all my advice and hour later she rings him and asks me to walk to his with her so she can see him and she will walk me back after ... Me being me again agreed so we walked about half an hour about 7-8 on the night I was about 15 and nearly at his house he appears and she goes oh his here now see you later an walked off .., I was fuming and I can happily say I don't speak to her anymore! Xx

 

[HeatherClare3]

I don't have any friends I have people who I know and care about, but I only know them through my sister, my one friend who I've knew since I was little has been distant ever since I got with my boyfriend, so we don't really talk anymore I try but I never get a text back so I've started to give up trying now, don't get me wrong I've got people who I speak to in college and who I used to work with, but I only speak to the girls in college when I'm in college, and I hardly speak to the girls I used to work with anymore, I do get lonely but I supposed I'm getting used to it now.

 

[blossom]

I have lots of people I am friendly with but only a couple who i regularly meet up with and chew everything over. One is an old friend from school, whenever we meet up the years drop away and even if its months since we saw each other its always like it was last week, if you know what i mean. The other i met about 9 years ago when i did her nails, we meet up regularly (as well as doing her nails lol). We don't go back as far but both have 2 daughters and are self employed so lots in common.

Actually there are a couple of other clients who I see socially occasionally and really like....when we have a nail appointment there is lots of laughter and my family always comment "call that working" or some such.

Much much harder to make friends when you're grown up I think. I used to think I would meet other mums at toddler groups/school playground etc but now those years have gone, I realise we only met up so the kids could play or, more usually so I could look after theirs while they were working and I did nails from home, so I was around. Now the kids are older, we speak if we bump into each other but no more than that. Maybe thats just my experience though, I expect everyones different.

 

[Deeders]

I don't have many friends either, but the ones I do have are for life. My bestie moved to Torquay about 7 years ago and I now only see her once a year if that, we text news updates to each other as and when and catch up with photos etc on Facebook. Considering we used to see each other every day when she lived here, it was all very difficult in the early days. But now, we both know it doesn't matter how far away we are from each another, how little we communicate with each other, we are still, and will always be, besties. Whenever we meet up, it's just as though we saw each other yesterday, not last year!! True friends will always be there for one another no matter what.

 

[Elaine Armani]

I don't have any friends at all, pretty strange for my age.
I just like being alone and I enjoy my own company I don't have the heart to go out and associate with people that call you their friend, over analyse everyone that walks past you and bitch about every tom, dick and Harry.
I'm like this because i have been let down by all of my friends, my bestest friends were my cousins and when I went through a tough stage in life they didn't support me, they did the complete opposite and bitched about me, now that I don't tell them how I'm doing in life or what I'm doing they act like nothing ever happened.
They expect me to call and text them and kiss their a$$e$ After they realised I wasn't interested in having a friendship with any of them they try to gain me and act disappointed with the fact that I'm not around anymore.
I'm not interested, these days family aren't even there for you so nothing will convince me that their is a such thing as a true friend.
I have two friends that I consider my family and I love them with all of my heart, one of them is a female and I grew up with her since I was about 6, we even went to school together but we grew apart and stopped talking for two years after we left school but now we talk again, we probably see each other once every 3 months but we do talk on the phone every two weeks or so, she's the kind of friend that will ALWAYS be there, she won't question why you have been quiet and just understands everything. We both have grown to be completely different people but we leave that aside. I'm always there for here no matter how long we haven't spoken and she's the same with me.
My other best friend is a male, ive only known him for about two years but I don't know where he is, he cut all contact and I haven't heard from him in about a year, before that he was going through a really rough patch and told me he was going to disappear to get better, so wherever he is I will always have him as the bestest friend, even though he cut contact without an explanation I know he will be back soon after he becomes better and I will always be there for him.
Those two people are what friendship is to me.
I've put effort in to friendships in the past and it got no where.
That's why I'm not interested.
I think I am enough.

 

[ch-ela]

Having relocated from abroad, I'm finding it hard to make new friends. I don't really know where to go and meet new people, even though I find it really easy to talk to anyone.
I've met a few people at college, but I don't really want to have more contact with them, they appear to have an agenda and I cant be bothered with these silly things.
I just wondered if it was a cultural thing. My OH's sister seems to have great friends, then they have a major fall out, hate each other and then they are best mates again.. inseparable. I don't get it.

 

[w1nnie]

I have 4 friends in total. They are proper good friends where they help me out with whatever crisis I have. I do the same for them, as im doing just now to dig her out of a pit shes put herself in,. I would say I have a 5th friend but she's moved too far away for me to see her, but we keep in touch on facebook. I've never been one to have lots of friends, I have to get to know people well before I call them. 'friends'.

 

[StephsTherapies]

Anyone who's been let down by friends, I'll be your friend! (I've drunk a couple of glasses of wine, but I mean it!)


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[sarah1992]

I had a group of 4 best friends from school and was close to all of them.

One moved to another county & barely have contact now.
One moved to another country but we text occasionally.
One died by suicide.
And the last one acted in a horrible way to me and the other girl about the death because she doesnt agree with that way .

My best friend is my boyfriend and cheesey as it sounds hes the only person I can count on as a friend. My other friends now are 90% lads because they are so much easier to deal with and I have so much fun with them, luckily my boyfriend is not at all the jealous type.

I am also shocked to see the kind of friend problems others have on here because I always just thought it was me who had no real proper girl best friend and cant believe the way some people are being treated! Wish everyone was as nice as they are on here!

 

[heatherp]

I consider myself extremely lucky in this department. I have what i consider 5 BBFs, I am now 51 and one i have known from school since we were eleven.
2 of them since i was 17 at my first long term job and the other 2 since my early fourties.
All of these ladies i either see or speak to every week and they have been my rock through some tough times and i think and hope i have been there for them. I can't imagine any of them nit being in my life.
I am also lucky enough to have 3 amazing sisters who are also my best friends and again see all of the time.
On top of this i have many of what i regard as aquaitance friends, not as close, but i value them just the same.
However, not having a good marriage for the last 14 years ( coming to an end soon hopefully) these friendships mean the world to me
H xx

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[virtues2011]

I'm to old, irritable and tired to worry about having friends. Everyone I know wants something from me or my OH that's often the only time you hear from them. I keep to a few 'friends' that I meet up with for coffee or a night out but I sure don't want them phoning me up bleating about their problems nor do I do the same. I have one 'friend I've known since I was three. . She's hard work, unstable, emotional and had counselling for umpteen years. If I don't answer a text within 5 minutes she's on the phone. I'm meant to be a god parent to her child. ..She knows I hate kids and if I don't see her for a few weeks I get moaned at. . No. I have businesses to run! Get a grip. See you all on the rant thread as this is what it's turned into!

I am my own friend.

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[w1nnie]

I'm to old, irritable and tired to worry about having friends. Everyone I know wants something from me or my OH that's often the only time you hear from them. I keep to a few 'friends' that I meet up with for coffee or a night out but I sure don't want them phoning me up bleating about their problems nor do I do the same. I have one 'friend I've known since I was three. . She's hard work, unstable, emotional and had counselling for umpteen years. If I don't answer a text within 5 minutes she's on the phone. I'm meant to be a god parent to her child. ..She knows I hate kids and if I don't see her for a few weeks I get moaned at. . No. I have a businesses to run! Get a grip. See you all on the rant thread as this is what it's turned into!

I am my own friend.

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Naaahh you miserable ol bugger !!!:b:rolley:ev:green::smack::irked::hug:il:es:iggrin:

 

[facelashbrow]

one of my best friends is currently miscarrying and I have been through it before so have been in constant contact, answering questions and giving support. I have thought about this thread quite a bit for some reason, my husband is my best friend and I can tell him everything and he's the one I want when things happen and has gone beyond the call of duty when things have happened but when it comes to having had my babies, miscarrying and all the things that come with it, smear scares between us etc, my best girlfriends have been a massive support to me and I dont know what I would have done with out them understanding me, as good as my husband was. xx

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