There was a woman who had a mad passion for baked beans. She absolutely loved them but they always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a man and fell in love.
When It became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself 'He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on'. She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. As she lived int the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small kiner and the odour of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So she stopped at eh diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans!
All the way home she putt-putted and upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight" He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. she seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the phone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the telephone.
the baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almosst unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go! It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and and fanned the air around her vigouusly. Then she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more,which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes.
When the telephone farewells signalled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times withe her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologising for taking so long. He asked her if she had peeked and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold and she was surprised!! There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"!!!
When It became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself 'He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on'. She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. As she lived int the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small kiner and the odour of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So she stopped at eh diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans!
All the way home she putt-putted and upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight" He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. she seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the phone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the telephone.
the baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almosst unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go! It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and and fanned the air around her vigouusly. Then she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more,which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes.
When the telephone farewells signalled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times withe her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologising for taking so long. He asked her if she had peeked and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold and she was surprised!! There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"!!!
