just for the ladies lol

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Debbies Gellies

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Funny stuff. One for the ladies

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"
'It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world." The woman replies,I'll miss you..."

'It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a
good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and
fart.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said
that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one
wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh!
Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that
fairy!

A PRAYER....

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;

Love to forgive him;

And Patience for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.

AMEN

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after
mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man
wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make
their day! And send this to five bright men who have enough sense
of humor to take it!
 
Very good, have forwarded onto all my email friends..keep em coming!
 
Debbies Gellies said:
Funny stuff. One for the ladies

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said
that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one
wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh!
Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that
fairy!

Heehee, think this is my fave! :lol: :lol:
 
This sounded familar.
I was cleaning out my mail box yesterday and came across this email, sent to me June 2005. The only difference between yours and mine, is that mine says "Mississippi State" in the first joke !! It makes the world seem a small place when these emails make it across the world. Thats cool..(yeah..I said cool)

PS. the next time I send this email to new friends I'm going to send it....:lol: Insert your favorite teams name here____________.
Bonnie
 

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