Lack of support from home

[Lyndsey007]

Trying my best to better myself, & build something for me & my 2 boys, All i get is shot down in flames from friends & especially family.

Every time i ask for their opinion or advice etc i get " Don't know what you're bothering for " ... " you're going to far ahead of yourself " or " its not like you are going to get clients every day is it " , I try explaining things to help them understand better but noooooooo. Its like people think i'm not capable.
... I NEVER once had support of " come on you can do this " or " i hope you do well " ..

I don't have anyone at all who supports me bar some online friends from facebook who don't even know me !

Did/does anyone else get this? Surely i'm not the only one with an inconsiderate bunch of family/friends?

 

[Baggybear]

No your not alone (my family are supportive but I've read many thread where other geeks say they are alone) but what you need to do now is take the anger your feeling and use it to prove them all wrong, don't allow them to poision you into thinking what they think.

You can do it if you want to, you just have to close your mind to these people and stop looking for support from them. They are obviously not the onles you need, your facebook & online friends are. Go girl, prove those doubters wrong :Love:

 

[Navayah123]

I had it aswell!! Ull never make any money, ur wasting money etc etc.. My youngest daughter is 2 and by the time shes in full time school im hopeing to have built up a good buisiness.. I hav a few regulars now and it suits me as honestly i would have the time to be flat out busy ( i work nights aswell) just 1 thing i learned when these people want freebies or cheap treatments say no!! 😜 theres nothing wrong in bettering yourself xxx

 

[Pinkbunny28]

I get told I sit at home all day when im out working! I say but look at how many hours I'm working and how much I'm earning.... More than you per hour that's for sure! I've been told to do it on the side and go get a full time job. Like it's that easy to get a job in this climate anyway. I'm earning good money. It's not great but it's enough for me and it will get there in time! I've been studying too and now I'm done I'm almost being forced into a full time job just to keep em quiet!

I'm was so hurt and upset this morning I almost jacked it all in but I'm not giving up something I've worked so hard to build just because someone thinks I'm not good enough x

Sent from my GT-I9300 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[Mobile Manicure]

My hubby had it all his life from his Dad, telling him he'll amount to nothing. This made hubby strive hard and prove him wrong. Which he has done. We are considerably better off than them. Now his Dad is jealous and won't speak to him.

So remove the negative people from your life and be the best you can be. You can do it. Snd when you get there; NO free treatments for the negative people. If you're determined enough, you will get there. Sod them all.

 

[TanBird]

You need to have more people in your life who understand, believe in you and support your ambition - people who aspire to the same things, people who have already done it - whether in this industry or others.

Your Facebook friends sound like the right kind of people for this, I know it's not quite the same as face-to-face. This forum is not a bad place to be either.

Personally I've given up talking about my plans and ambitions, or even sharing my "wins" with some people, all they can say is something diminishing or negative.

Duncan Bannatyne (Dragon's Den, Bannatyne health clubs, very successful) writes in his autobiography that when he told his father about a business he had started, his father said "Oh Duncan, people like us don't start businesses". If someone in your family is like that - share less with them!


Good luck x

 

[tonicj]

:Scared:

Trying my best to better myself, & build something for me & my 2 boys, All i get is shot down in flames from friends & especially family.

Every time i ask for their opinion or advice etc i get " Don't know what you're bothering for " ... " you're going to far ahead of yourself " or " its not like you are going to get clients every day is it " , I try explaining things to help them understand better but noooooooo. Its like people think i'm not capable.
... I NEVER once had support of " come on you can do this " or " i hope you do well " ..

I don't have anyone at all who supports me bar some online friends from facebook who don't even know me !

Did/does anyone else get this? Surely i'm not the only one with an inconsiderate bunch of family/friends?

Hi Lyndsey! I would not be asking them for advice anymore as they will only send negativity your way. It's time now for you to tell yourself "I can do this and I will do this!" Do it for yourself and your children not so that you can prove anyone wrong! When you succeed, they will see for themselves. You must show you have a passion for this and put it into action! We are all responsible for ourselves in this life! Good Luck xx

 

[Lyndsey007]

That's the thing, shutting out those who are meant to be close or there for you is very difficult, I'm mainly meaning my own mum & brother who don't care, My brother even set up his own business from home so him at least i would of thought may of given a little help/advice or even put a good word in to others for me, after all our businesses are not remotely similar so no competition but he don't care at all.

I'm not giving up, I just want to live a comfortable life with my boys.
I most certainly wont be offering mates rates or family freebies that's for sure although i know that will cause ww3 when the time comes & they want my services & i either refuse or charge them the same as any other client.

I only know 1 other person personally to ask for help, but she copies off everyone & their ideas so not sure she's who i want to be asking advice from haha.

It'll all work out in the end, then i'll sit back & smile x

 

[PinkSwoon]

You're certainly not alone. Tell them to do one. Family & friends are the hardest people to please, the sooner you stop trying to please them the sooner you will be free of their negativity! I wish you the best of luck x

 

[user 60877]

oh that's terrible. They are all jealous. You do what your heart tells you to.
and don't let anybody pull you down EVER.

You can do it and you will do it. keep positive and prove everybody wrong. NEVER EVER DOUBT YOUR CAPABILITY.

this is goes for all of you that feel lonely. xxxxxxxxx

 

[Robynx]

Trying my best to better myself, & build something for me & my 2 boys, All i get is shot down in flames from friends & especially family.

Every time i ask for their opinion or advice etc i get " Don't know what you're bothering for " ... " you're going to far ahead of yourself " or " its not like you are going to get clients every day is it " , I try explaining things to help them understand better but noooooooo. Its like people think i'm not capable.
... I NEVER once had support of " come on you can do this " or " i hope you do well " ..

I don't have anyone at all who supports me bar some online friends from facebook who don't even know me !

Did/does anyone else get this? Surely i'm not the only one with an inconsiderate bunch of family/friends?

Really sorry to hear you're not getting the support you deserve :hug:
I have a "friend" like this, I expressed my desire to do an Acrylic Nail course and all I got was "everyone goes to the Chinese/Japanese/Korean shops because they are better and last longer"... Well thanks for your support!!
It's just not something you want from a close friend or a family member, they should be your biggest fans and definitely not put you down in such a bad way
I hope you get some better comments soon maybe it might make you more determined to do well and prove then all wrong!!

 

[Elaine Armani]

God I can relate to you 100% only piece of advice I can give you is:
Don't tell them about what you're doing with your life NOTHING and then when the day comes and you've reached your goal and they ask what you're doing with yourself say "uhh I only have a teeny business and I'm fully booked every working hour of every business day"
Then you can think to yourself "look @ me now b!tches"

Hehe sorry for my cheeky post but trust me it works!
Don't let anyone bring you down we live for ourselves not for anyone else!
:hug:

 

[ADiva1]

Easier said than done, but focus, focus, focus.

Believe in yourself that is really important. Every time you work, or train, think of your gorgeous children . That alone will keep you focused.

As said earlier, turn all the negative thoughts into positive ones.

Things happen for a reason, they are there to make you more successful.
Try not to discuss too much with them work wise. That is what Salon Geek is for. Just shout if you need any help.

Good luck, you are and will be even more brilliant....x

 

[Pinkbunny28]

So I just proved someone wrong....ive more than doubled my takings from last year and this year isnt even up yet keep strong x

Sent from my GT-I9300 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[souz]

Believe in yourself and don't let anyone tell you different!!!

Some people just aren't entrepreneurs and most of our family and friends aren't!! Explain to them that you not only have to work part the time to earn the same money elsewhere but you also get to choose when you want to work so if it's your child's Xmas play at school you never have to miss it !! How many people can say that in their jobs?? Working for yourself is about so much more than earning a wage, it's about a work life balance and creating your own destiny rather than waiting for a pay rise that never comes or redundancy when you weren't expecting it.....the stress of being a wage slave in this economic state we are far out ways being self employed.

The next time someone puts you down for what you are doing be prepared and articulate, show them you are a business woman and you know your own business!!!even have some statistics ready for them on how much you are up on last year or what the risk of redundancy is now.......prove them wrong!

 

[Balance Andover]

Trying my best to better myself, & build something for me & my 2 boys, All i get is shot down in flames from friends & especially family.

Every time i ask for their opinion or advice etc i get " Don't know what you're bothering for " ... " you're going to far ahead of yourself " or " its not like you are going to get clients every day is it " , I try explaining things to help them understand better but noooooooo. Its like people think i'm not capable.
... I NEVER once had support of " come on you can do this " or " i hope you do well " ..

I don't have anyone at all who supports me bar some online friends from facebook who don't even know me !

Did/does anyone else get this? Surely i'm not the only one with an inconsiderate bunch of family/friends?

People do this and it's annoying!

Stop asking them for advice and ask us on here instead

 

[nicole333]

I really feel for you, it must be really hard to hear those responses from those who you automatically expect to be in your corner with you.
To hear my Husband tell me how proud he is of me for various things is one of the most special things I have ever experienced and everyone deserves that kind of support from all loved ones in our lives.

The way I see it is to stop enabling them to continue their belittling and confidence knocking by not constantly seeking their approval then you have broken the chain and become more in control. Every time you seek support they will bring you down, it's sad but true. Therefore you have to make this choice to stop the emotional abuse.
Personally I would not be wasting my energy on proving anyone wrong. Stay focused on you and your business.

Choose positive influences instead until you have built enough confidence to brush things off more easily. Just look at the support you have gained by posting here and how does it make you feel compared to seeking out the negative responses by those directly around you?

 

[KHS]

Lyndsey don't be put off sweets prove them all wrong!

When I rented my 1st salon at 38, my mother said to me when I told her how chuffed and proud dad was of me he bought me 48 towels and my back wash as a "well done" ... My mothers reply - oh, what are you going to do with 48 hand towels and all that shampoo when it all goes wrong.

She's never been happy or supportive, even when I went to college and got my NVQ telling her in having my own salon one day.. she laughed and said well that will be a waste of time! There are too many hairdressers now, you'll never get a job or make any money doing that.

I handed that salon back, rented a chair OH! And I gave those 48 hand towels to the local seal rescue ;-) she said... I told you it would work BUT what she didn't realise or think I was squirrelling cash away while renting a chair , bringing up a child as then a single mum, and running a home, that was 3 yrs ago I'm now 43 and bought my own salon so that p*$$ed on her bonfire X

 

[Telefang]

This is so horrible! Makes my blood boil when I hear this kind of thing!

Some families don't appreciate when you try and start something not of the "norm" because they don't see our visions and btw, even if you did get a full time 9-5 job they will most likely still have negative things to say!

Just be POSITIVE and work your hardest to promote your business!! Even if you make a swimming pool out of bank notes they'll still be negative about it so just keep your great ideas to yourself and to those you know will support (all of us here! )

Best of luck!!

Sent from my C1905 using SalonGeek mobile app

 

[tonicj]

Lyndsey don't be put off sweets prove them all wrong!

When I rented my 1st salon at 38, my mother said to me when I told her how chuffed and proud dad was of me he bought me 48 towels and my back wash as a "well done" ... My mothers reply - oh, what are you going to do with 48 hand towels and all that shampoo when it all goes wrong.

She's never been happy or supportive, even when I went to college and got my NVQ telling her in having my own salon one day.. she laughed and said well that will be a waste of time! There are too many hairdressers now, you'll never get a job or make any money doing that.

I handed that salon back, rented a chair OH! And I gave those 48 hand towels to the local seal rescue ;-) she said... I told you it would work BUT what she didn't realise or think I was squirrelling cash away while renting a chair , bringing up a child as then a single mum, and running a home, that was 3 yrs ago I'm now 43 and bought my own salon so that p*$$ed on her bonfire X

How sad for you KHS!! Could it be that maybe your Mum wasn't happy with the choices she herself made in life? This can often happen. It's good to see that you continued on, albeit it without her support. Well done you!:wink2: