male full body massage? Help what to do

[Layla-Louise]

my salon's now been open for three weeks now however on thursday i had this phonecall from a really weird guy saying that he saw my leaflet in the newsagent when he went to get the paper & was inquiring about prices for aromatherapy massage. At the time i was really pleased that someone was asking me about aromatherapy & didnt actually realize he was a guy on the fone as he didnt have a deep,manly voice that you'd expect from a guy & was asking me whether i did an adomen massage & because i didnt think anything of it- it wast untill he arrived at the salon i realized he was a potential male client.
On the phone i asked him whether it was a baqck massage he wanted or full body & he stated he was a full body he was after whih i do for 1hr 15mins & charge £37
he asked if he could collect a pricelist as he was round the corner and i said yes we're open till 7pm 2day he came in a few minutes and thats when he said i'm Tim the person you spoke to on the phone.
At the time my mum who helps out on reception had an appointment so i was on my own dont know whether that made a difference but he asked me whether i was the owner & i said yes im Layla & he said thats an unusual name where are you from i said my family are orginally from cyprus but we was born here but then he continued with questions such as whether i was local & i said yes & he was like oh where?
like i'd tell him i just said 10-15mins away didnt want to lie but then didnt want to be rude either
he said that some salons you go to won't massage the stomach, chest or buttocks area & apart from the obvious so you pay for a full body massage & you dont actually get it.
when i saw him i actually thought there must be a very good reason for this but as im starting out new you dont want clients to think you dont want 2 do the treatment. Male clients ive had before have been clients of girlfriends and wifes that allready come 2 salon but ive only done back massages not full body on them. whats the geneal rule about massaging the abdomen area how do i get out of it now?
he said cos his a postman he doesnt know when his free and jus likes to phone up on the off chance i can fit him in i said that if he wants to do that then fine but i am the only therapist here so i camt guanratee he will get a booking that way and we just left it at that.
then he phoned me back 10-15mins later asking if i can extend the massage to 1hr 30mins as myne was only 1hr 15mins then we can sort it out price wise i said that my price is oly for 1hr 1h 15mins so i'll have 2 work out what to charge and he said i obvioudly take it you aint working tomorrow goodfriday and i said No then he said what about saturday and we already decided not to open cos its early days and nonone was booked in anyway so i sed i'll be in to take bookings but not for treatments as we was planning to do a few more finishing touches in the salon.
Afterwards i felt bad for turning a client away so foned him back to say another client wants 2 book in for saturday so i am going to be open if he wants a booking and afterall that he said he had something on and culdnt make it but asked if i had a mobile number he culd contact me on and i said the salon no. wuld be fine but he said in case i wasnt there to answer it obviously i didnt give it to him and said if he left a message on the answer fone i culd always get back to him.
yesterday when i went in to check my messages i had two from him one at 8:20am and one at 11:15am saying he wanted the booking afterall i havent contacted him back yet dont really know what to do he seems quite persistant and hasnt even asked how much extra i want for 1hr 30mins massage what do you all think i should do?

 

[hippy-chick]

ok! breathe!!!

He does sound like a persistent person and seems to want to know alot of personal details BUT it might just be because he is a postie!

he seems to be running this conversation NOT you!

Firstly, you charge £37 for 1 hour 15 minutes.
Charge £42 for 1 hour 30 minutes.

Your full body massage is what you feel comfortable with. I always do the following:

back, back of legs, [no buttocks], front of legs avoiding groin area, abdomen, arms, chest and decolletage area. for 90 minutes I would also include the head, scalp and face.

I run through the sequence of work with the client BEFORE THEY UNDRESS. If they question the sequence then I reiterate that THAT IS THE SEQUENCE but if they wanted any of the parts avoided I would take them out.

You must be alert to perverts, customers who want extras. It is strange that he has actually turned up and had a conversation with you in person, that is not the usual ammo of sexual expectations.

sounds like he could just be a bit over enthusiastic and harmless.

But you need to take control of this situation and not let him dictate.

I would say a third of my clients are male. I have to build up a relationship with them ie build up trust before I feel comfortable with massaging them. I have one who really does have sciatic problems, so after I have massaged him approx 6 times I now feel comfortable with massaging his lower back into his upper buttocks and close to his inner thigh.

Your instincts are alert, make sure that your mum is about when he comes in for a treatment.

also, he has asked for aromatherapy NOT swedish. have you explained to him that aromatherapy is a more gentle treatment? have you talked to him about making up the essential oils to suit his physical and emotional needs?

 

[claire213]

If it was me, i wouldnt massage the abdomen coz it is apparently a turn on for men. I would offer to do the massage, but make sure there is another member of staff in the salon. A friend of mine had a turkish man ask her to do the stomach and pelvis and he was quite persistant, so she told him she was not trained to do the stomach and didnt feel comfortable. Dont let him make you feel uncomfortable, be professional and explain that you do not perform aroma massage on the stomach good luk hth xx

 

[Layla-Louise]

thankyou for your response Hippychick your right i never actually thought of it that way-that his asked for a full body aromatherapy massage NOT Swedish he had it before so i didnt say its more of a gentle treatment but i did explain that he has the option of choosing the esential oils for his treatment depending on how it feels i.e. something quite uplifting or relaxing.
I was thinking of saying £45 for full body do you think its gone up quite abit lots of people have commented my prices are too cheap & becuse i'd charge £32 for 1/2 back,neck & shoulder massage i figured i wuldnt make much from it.
i do have lower prices with pre-blended oils as an option but he wanted the aromatherapy one which will will choose & blend during consultation.
I do hope that i have got it all wrong and he does turn out to be a genuine, innocent guy but i was just worried about the adomen massage im glad u say that you think its ok to do this do. Obviously i'd know to allow him to get change on his own and only uncover the area im working on and not to go to high up on the thigh area like you said.
Well i did mention that the reason why i did one hour 15mins because it includes scalp and face massage but he said he didnt want that and whether he culd have the time extended for another part of the body and i suggested the back.
Just when i told my mum and friends they said i made the mistake of saying i would accomdate to adding an extra 15mins to his treatment making it 1hr 30mins as they said i should stick to what i had in my pricelist and only do it if he was a regular client but i didnt see the problem in customizing a treatment if he turns out to be an ok client

 

[Layla-Louise]

Its just difficult how i get out of it now when i said that abdomen massage wasnt a problem as i honestly didnt realize he was a guy on the phone he had me convinced for sure
its not that i'd feel uncomfortable doing it if he behaved well throughout it but knowing its a turn on for guys maybe thats pushing it abit what does everyone else think?

 

[hippy-chick]

glad to have helped!
I've been there too.

Things to look out for in a sexual-request telephone call:

1. They ring up and want a massage that day.
2. They ask what types of massage you do.
3. When you have finished listing your treatments they ask do you do anything else.
4. They will only give a mobile number as contact number.
5. Only give first name.

You need to regain control and be ready for this client, go into the appointment with you being in charge, tell him what to do, tell him what to expect, tell him that the extended treatment will be given to the back END OF!
Be prepared for the fact that he could still ask for a sexual service and be prepared for your answer and how you deal with him/it.

You may find when you are doing the consultation that he actually opens up to you and just wants a good aromatherapy massage and someone to listen too! He may be a good un!

 

[Layla-Louise]

well his got 3/5 there from what you've said to look out for thats what i was going to suggest only extended time on the back massage 30mins and 1hr for the body if he does start being rude i'd just say that inapproriate behaviour is not accepted here & will state that he only removes the clothing necessary i'd hate for him to remove his underwear for the adomen massage that is something i wont tolerate

 

[lisa'sLuxuries]

i agree with claire because i can relate to what she is sayin is one guy rang up asking if he could be booked in for a full body massage although my boss took the call he asked on the phone which beautican would be massaging him (very weird). anyway my boss booked him in. when i got into the treatment room i told him how i was going to do the treatment and he told me that he didnt want his arm,chest,scalp masage. he wanted me to concerntrate more on is adomen and top of legs i explained why i couldnt do this and why. he didnt seem happy and told me a doctor referred him (what a load of bull). again i told him i couldnt do it and asked if he wanted a back massage instead but he wanted A full body so we finally started treatment and he said he would like me to do all the other area i.e arms,chest etc( what a nutter) you have to be strong girl or they will try their luck xx

 

[beautyseeker]

I WOULD NOT DO IT ON MY OWN AT ALL HUN HAVE SOMEONE ELSE IN THE ROOM WITH YOU.

GO THROUGH THE UNDRESSING PROCEDURE AND MAKE SURE HE KNOWS TO KEEP HIS UNDERPANDS ON.

EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE OF SAFETY REASONS THERE WILL BE SOMEONE ELSE IN THE ROOM. IF HE DOES NOT LIKE THAT THEN HE CAN GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.

 

[hippy-chick]

I always say that they undress and leave their underwear on and cover themselves with a towel before I come back in.

Plus if you start on their back first, you are sending them the message that they are having a bone fide massage.

If you started with them lying on their back, they may think their luck is in!

 

[Layla-Louise]

So you suggest that i start with the back massage then i wuld normally end with the back massage as this is the most relaxing but if you think it would make a difference

 

[hippy-chick]

btw, I have never had an experience like mentioned face to face, they usually make their intentions known on the phone and don't get past the call.

also, the consultation can tell a lot, if they try and avoid answering questions, etc.

I never did a male client when I was mobile UNLESS they booked in the same time as their partner.

I do dread new clients (male) if I haven't vetoed them first and one of the receptionists have booked them in.

One night I had a new male client in at 7pm and they left me in the building by mself for the last 30 minutes, ie cleared up, locked up and left. I pooped myself as he 'seemed' dodgy. Turned out to be a genuine guy and has since re-booked.

 

[Layla-Louise]

yeah its nice to give people benefit of the doubt but i guess we have to be weary because there are some strange guys out there too

 

['chelle]

Is there a man you know who will be present in the building while you do the treatment, ie a husband/partner, friend, someone like that? They wouldnt necessarily have to be in the treatment room provided that when your client turns up you make a point of mentioning that your male friend is in the next room for security reasons (you dont have to say it like that, you could even have your bloke say to you "i'll just be in here if you need me" - anything that gives the message that someone is keeping their eye on you).

Good luck.

 

[hippy-chick]

yeh! sicko might think he's the pimp! LOL

 

[socialbutterfly]

I did a massage neraly everyday on this guy who seemed really genuine, he started to ask if I could do his abdomen as we had had a few weeks of massage with no abdomen.

So as we had built up our client relationship I guessed I could trust him and I began doing the abdomen....well, he got a semi and it made me feel sick. I thought maybe it was just because it was the first time I had done it so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and did the same again the next time he came in. The same happened again except this time he started moving his towel away. I was out of there!!!

I then left that salon before anything else happened and I got a call a month later from the police asking if this man had done anything untoward to me while having a massage. Turns out he had done the same to another girl that started work there but I think it went a bit further as he is now on the sex offenders list.

I really dont want to frighten you Layla because I had a number of men and it was only that 1 that did anything dodgy!! But I really would say be very careful if you are going to do the abdomen at any point.

I hope the massage goes ok for you.
Maxine xx

 

[Layla-Louise]

i don't think having my boyfriend there would be a good idea if its up to him i should not do the treatment full stop i'll just have to be a big girl & look after myself

 

['chelle]

yeh! sicko might think he's the pimp! LOL

:lol::lol:


On a serious note Layla, I know you said you will have to be tough and deal with it yourself, but please just make sure you are safe. I'm sure it will all be fine, but you cant afford to take any risks. Pleeeease make sure someone knows where you are, what time the treatment is starting and finishing, and make sure you have some means of ending the treatment and having some support if it all goes pear shaped.

 

[hippy-chick]

I always have my mobile phone to hand, make sure that you are nearest to the door and don't lock it.

when you take him in make sure you tell your mum what time to expect to be out.

perhaps get a rape alarm and have that nearby so if he does make an inappropriate move you can grab it.

My hub is the same, he likes to think that I don't massage men.

 

[Face Geek]

Hi Layla. Was just reading this and I'm almost SURE this guy has called me before-about mid February. I was reading your initial post and some things sounded similar, but then when you call to ask about massage a lot of the questions WOULD be similar. Then when you mentioned the time slot thing a little light went off! Now it MAY not be him, the guy I spoke to gave me a bit of a creapy feeling on the phone. I explained that as I'm a mobile therapist I don't treat men. I do rent a beauty room as well, but there's already a massage therapist there and he would need to ring her if he wanted to be seen.(I figured if she's willing to see him in a salon setting that's up to her, I know a lot of people are more comfortable with that so I passed on her number).
I also explained that the room is about 20 minutes away from where I'm actually listed in the phone book but he could go to Esporta and they might be able to see him. He wasn't happy with that. As it turns out he called my collegue but would not book an appointment and insisted that he wanted to be able to come in when ever he wanted on short notice. He didn't book and I don't believe she ever did see him.

Now seeing that you're also in Essex I'm wondering where you are in relation to me-maybe he's just going through the phone book looking for someone?

Anyway I tend to err on the side of caution, I'd make sure there was SOMEONE there with you who is aware of the situation. Better safe than sorry. If he's a serious client he will understand and won't have any reason to grumble.