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Male-function!

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Do-it-all Deb

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Hi all,

Here's something (rather long I know) that I thought might raise a few laughs:lol:

Help me! I’ve got a male-function
LAST year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewellery applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 disables other valuable programs such as Dinnerdancing 7.5, Cruiseship 2.3 and Operanight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable Programs such as Pokernight 1.3, Saturdayfootball 5.0, Golf 2.4, and Cluttereverywhere 4.5.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will Nappychanging 14.1 or Housecleaning 2.6 run. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all-purpose utility is of limited effectiveness.
Can you help?
Jane
Dear Jane,

THIS is a common problem women complain of, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an entertainment package. However, Husband 1.0 is an operating system and was designed to run as few applications as possible
Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0 because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0.
Any new program flies can be installed only once per year, as Husband 1.0 has limited memory.
In desperation to play some of their ‘old time' favourite applications’ some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0.
Look in your manual under ‘Warnings: Divorce/Child Support'. You will notice this program runs poorly, and comes bundled with Heartbreak 1.3.
Having Husband 1.0 Installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company
Husband 1.0 must assume all responsibility for all faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command 'C:\I thought you loved me' sometimes.
Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologise 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

TECH TIP
Avoid excess use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately you may haw to give a C:\Apologise command before the system will return to normal operations.
Overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpysilence 2.5, or worse, Beer 6.0, a bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create Fatbelly files.
Consider buying extra software to improve Husband 1.0 performance. I recommend Hotfood 3.0, Lingerie 5 3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.
After several years, you will find valuable embedded features in Husband 1.0 such as Fixesbrokenthings 2.1 and Bestfriend 7.6. A word of caution: do not Install Motherinlaw 3.

ENJOY:D
 

dee

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lmao that is sooo funny ,where did you get it !!! love dee :D
 

Jane

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:D Fantastic! Have to take that into work tomorrow!
 

Mrs Geek

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That was great Debbie - well done!!
 

Nailsinlondon1

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Oh this is brill, I love it.still giggling...................
Now where is my hubby's hard drive lol..................
I think he has a virus as his sytem completly shuts down when I use the c:/hubby/can I have a cuppa.exe.....................
Try to reboot but only get the screensaver mode..............
 

talented talons

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Absolutely excellent!!!! LMAO. Where did you get that? Must send that to a few other people i know they will really appreciatte that.
 

sequinto

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This is great i love it and its so true
 
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