most useless advice

[tink18]

'laughter's the best medicine' whats b****y funny when your ill!?!

 

[barbienails]

just for fun i was wondering what is the most useless or stuid piece of advice you have ever been given, it doesnt have to be just about nails


Mine has got to be breath deeply when you're having an asthma attack!!! You can't bloody breath at all!!!!!! xxxAlixxxx

 

[Nailsinlondon1]

How about when people say " save it for a rainy day" why would you do that?!

LOL yep looks like rain every day here.....
But maybe its so you can buy some nice new wellies and a brolly to match xxx

She also used to say to me, if you fall out of that tree and break your leg, dont come running to me..... yea right Grandma lol......

 

[ADiva1]

I was born into a culture of useless advice, lol. Its only now that I am older that I dont listen or be bothered about any of it.

• Dont put shoes on the table
• You get a lump on your eyes means that you are lacking of something
• Babies have to be christened or they wont 'settle' during life
• Dont put shoes on the table
• Dont put your handbag on the floor
• Eat fish on Good Friday

I can go on and on!

 

[Tanita]

Eat the burned parts of the food, and you will have beautiful (pretty/goodlooking) children! This i was told when i was 6 years old - and i believed it!

 

[Pixi]

Don't put new shoes on the table - by EVERY adult I knew.

But why? and can we old shoes on the table?

 

[Buggy]

what about when you can't spell something and someone says look it up in the dictionary. how am i supposed to do that when i don't know how to spell it? (perfect example, aubergine (or however you spell it). hardly said how it's spelt is it?)

as for the clean undies in case your in an accident. well if i got hit by a car i'd probably cr&p myself anyway!

 

[Bagpuss]

Never speak while standing under a monkey tree.

What, Why and whats a monkey tree...?

 

[1999judy]

My gran used to say "stop looking in that mirror - you'll see the devil in there" never did understand what the hell it meant!

 

[kittenclaws]

lol i say this one to my kids, even now neither me or the kids will talk whilst passing a monkey tree as we dont wana wake the monkeys

Never speak while standing under a monkey tree.

What, Why and whats a monkey tree...?

 

[joanne2005]

LOVE THE ONE ABOUT "SAVE IT FOR A RAINY DAY" AS ITS ALWAYS BLOODY RAINING IN ENGLAND IS THAT WHY IVE NEVER GOT ANY MONEY PMSL WILL HAVE TO SAY THAT AS I COME BACK WHEN SOMEONE SAYS IT 2 ME!!!:green:

 

[Sassy Hassy]

What drives me mad is when we are watching a film or prog and someone asks what will hapen - duh-uh, I didn;t write the script so how should I know!

Or when you lose something and someone says, well where's the last place you left it? If I knew that it wouldn't be lost!

Or when the phone rings and everyone looks at it and says, I wonder who that is? Well if you answer it you'll find out! Or similarly a letter comes through and they look at it and say, I wonder who that's from? Well OPEN it and find out!

My mum would always say "there's no such word as can't". But there is mum cos I can say it!! Took me years to realise what she really meant!

 

[tamimac]

My mum always said, 'dont bother marrying the man you cant live without, instead, marry the man you can live WITH'
Why cant they be the same man...?
My gran always told us sugar makes you stupid. Shed heard as a kid that sugar draws out water from the brain making your brain shrivel up.
Oh hell, theres no hope for me.

 

[The Beauty Zoo]

My mum said... "make sure you can live with the things that annoy you about the man you love, because if you marry him... they'll annoy you 10 times more".... it's true (it was very true of my ex-husband )

Good grief....If only my mum had been that wise!!!!!:irked: All she ever said was don't marry for love marry for money................OK gonna try the money bit next!!!!! LOL!!!!

 

[tink18]

What drives me mad is when we are watching a film or prog and someone asks what will hapen - duh-uh, I didn;t write the script so how should I know!

it makes me even madder when you're watching something and they say 'Did you see that?' er no iv been staring at the ceiling all the time its been on - of course i saw it!

 

[sarah wilson]

my mothers full of bs sayings like this. "save up for a rainy day", "make sure you've got clean pants on in case u get knocked down", etc. And on saturday oddly enough she was spouting them all out for some unknown reason, so my sister was getting a bit naffed off (as you do with yr twittery mother so my sister says, well i'm off to spend this money you told me to save for a rainy day, because if i get hit by that bus i've got the clean pants on for I can't take it with me!!Its a lot of fun to turn peoples inane sayings back on them!!

 

[sarah wilson]

i just remembered more useless advice, when i first passed my driving test it was november so my dad told me i needed a shovel, a blanket, a pair of wellies, a big coat and something else in the boot of my car in case i got stuck in the snow.Errr no i don't i only had fiesta and i couldn't get anything else in the boot with that lot in!!!