Need to change and reinvent myself

[MissLou]

Hey Geeks,

Thinking aloud once again lol

The past year I have had a roller coaster with jobs, relationships-you name it I've had it. This point in time now I am currently hating my salon job, I'm feeling like a mug but I've had enough and after a lot of thinking I have decided to go self employed again. So that is that situation taken care of, well hopefully!

I have tried so hard with my friends this year, I've been the one that is always contacting them, arranging to meet up, I've tested this out the past couple of weeks, I've not bothered as I don't have the energy at the moment and surprise, surprise not one of them has bothered with me-not a 2 way street then!

I have gained a bf in the past year, he is wonderful in many many ways, but he is sooooo busy going off here there and everywhere with his mates, leads a very exciting fun filled life and I'm always left at home as the loner, this goes for my 'friends' too.

So as you can imagine I've been pondering this for the last 6 months at least if not a year. Instead of getting all upset like i usually do and taking offence, I can't be bothered and don't wish to, so instead I need to reinvent myself and make me happy, the rest of them can just go jump lol

As i say the work sitiuation is getting sorted, I have triend and tried to get a new hobby but nothing sticks with me, i get so bored!! I've tried pole dancing, yoga and pilates, i do like the poles but hate that the classes are so big!! But I've decided to give that one a go again as it does make me feel good when I can do a new move, even tho I must look like a hippo on a thin pole haha

I would love to get my teeth stuck into something educational as well. I feel quite dim most times, not very bright, a bit boring around other folk who have lots of qualifications but mainly I'd love to be able to do something for me! I have thought about learb=ning a new language, I find it fasinating when ppl can go from speaking one language to another, I was thinking about going to college to study that or study an A level in English or Business…..The 2 are very exxy for me and will be hard work, but I'm fed up woth wasting my life waiting to do things with other ppl who are busy doing what they want.

Told you i was thinking out loud! haha Anyone in this position or feel/felt this way? Anyone studied a forgein language? how did you get on??? xxxx

 

[Perfecttennails]

Hey Hun I have to say reading your friend a couple of points rang true with me.
I was there with my career. Before I had my daughter two years ago, I was working in a dead end 9-to-5 office job and in my life I've never had anything I wanted as a career, I just saw a job as a way to pay the bills. However after paying to get my nails done and painting my nails at home and enjoying it, I finally decided to take the plunge and train up with Gelish. Never expected to get very far because in town I live in there are no shortage of mobile nail techs and loads of nail salons as well as a few NSS salons, however my business seems to be going from strength to strength bearing in mind I only work evenings from 7.30 onwards because of my daughter. Every time I think it might be going quiet, I have a new random enquiry and word-of-mouth has done well for me and my little pokey salon in the one corner of my living room. I have to say I've never done something so rewarding and at the risk of sounding big headed, I am really proud of how I turned my life around as I suffered with crippling postnatal depression for a year after my daughter was born.
In regards to the friend situation I can also sympathise with you. I am the organiser of my group of friends; it's always me planning everything and bringing everyone together for nights out, however, since having my daughter, my social calendar isn't quite as open as it used to be because I was need a babysitter or my husband to watch my daughter. I got upset with the fact everybody just acted like I died or something was wrong with me because I chose to have a baby and none of them invited me anywhere. I called them up on it and told them I'm still the same person and not to shut me out and they said they wouldn't but I have noticed a steady decline in interest inviting me out at the past few months, just decided to let them go because I'd rather have no friends than be friends with people who take me for granted. I think you might be the same as me, sometimes if you make yourself so open to arranging things, people don't expect to do anything they just sit around and wait for you. I would definitely sit back and wait for these people to contact you or if not, maybe just speak to them about it over a cup of tea so that is not too offensive. Just explain you feel like you're doing all the work and if after you speak to them, they still treat you the same, then unfortunately they aren't real friends. Best to let them go and start again as friends come and go through life. I know people that I was in school with and thought we be together forever and since going off and living our lives, we don't speak to each other as much but occasionally will catch up on Facebook that's just when they way it goes.
Maybe try going out with your boyfriend and his friends, that's what I did when I first started dating my husband. I would go out with his group of friends and I would inevitably be a few girls out on the night as well. As you go out with him for a longer period of time you'll find you'll start integrating with his friends and his work colleagues and you'll start getting your own sets of friends, so chin up on that one, it sometimes just takes time integrating into someone else's life.
Sorry my reply isn't of much help to you, but I just wanted to say chin up! I think we all experience those things in life, it's just the growing pains we all go through of life itself, but I think your attitude towards it; of picking yourself up & trying again and keeping happy is a great outlook 😊 that's just the way life goes, you have to go with the flow in life and see what it brings you. Everything in life happens for a reason it's just finding out why 😄 xxx


💕💅 Keep calm and make 'em Gelish 💅💕

 

[HelenT59]

About 5 yrs ago I qualified with my second degree...I started working in my chosen field but as time went on I realised I felt as if something was still not right...I then started what I wanted to..I took on a reflexology course. It was a yr long and gave me focus. I loved it but afterwards still felt I wanted more...since iv trained in holistic therapies and many of them! I also trained in level 2 beauty so as I was applicable for massage courses. At the time I sometimes felt that I was jumping from one thing to the next for 5 yrs but later I realised each of them had a purpose and I'm now qualified in quite a lot lol but actually didn't realise this until recently. Iv changes my full time job which was v intense and working within social services..it took me almost 51/2 yrs to have the courage to do this...but now I still do my social work just in a different way, in a different environment and I'm happier, more relaxed and more positive! and I'm self employed as a complimentary therapist too. Since leaving my job I was unhappy with iv realised how freagin proud of myself I now am for doing all of this while working full time!funnily it's all only dawning on me now...before I felt I moved from one thing to the next but now I realise that each was a link to the next and now iv a whole new skill set and I'm much happier! Leaving your job sounds like a great step...but don't beat yourself up for trying loads of new things ! This doesn't mean it uninteresting or boring, in fact id say the opposite. Lots of ppl don't have the guts to attend new things so go u for trying! Eventually one will stick and u will realise you had to try others as part of the journey! As for friends...those who matter will realise and stick around. Be patient;-) hope this helps

 

[MissLou]

Aw geeks, such amazing stories-journies! Thank you for sharing, it does help to hear that it seems to be a common thing with friends and the career path as well. I feel so proud of both of you for getting out there and getting stuck into learning something new!! That's amazing and even better that you've both made it work, you should feel very proud

It's funny a friend/client asked me what I do with my free time and what in interested in and I couldn't answer her, it's stuck with me since, this was about 6 weeks ago and I've been looking at ppl around me and they have things like boxing, rugby, swimming, some kid of hobbie and outlet and I have nothing. But nothing strikes up an interest with me! But as I've said I'm trying to find something because it does make you feel boring and rubbish when everyone around you have all these fun thins they do.

The only thing that truly makes me spark my ears up is the thought of learning something new both out of interest and for me all I have is crappy gcse and hairdressing nvq, I'm not knocking myself but to be able to think, like you guys have, yes I have a degree in this I have a qualification in this it does make you feel proud and give you a focus. Think that's the key for me I need a focus to knock out all the negitive, I'm done with analyzing it and wondering what is wrong with me I know nothing is wrong me I'm nice, funny have things to talk about but somehow I'm not in any of these clicks, like you see on fb these pics of groups of friends doing great stuff together, I've never had that and I don't understand why, I do knock myself a lot but being realistic I'm not a monster I am actually very nice lol so whatever I'm done with it just want to put myself first, my business, my needs. Sounds selfish doesn't it but looking around and my experiences that's what were one else seems to be doing.

I'm quite excited about the thought of trying to learn something new, it does make me nervous though!! I'm so shy, it was scary going to pole lessons lol just have to give yourself though don't you.

Thanks for sharing your experiences and thoughts geeks, it makes things clearer hearing it xxx

 

[Nikki May]

My latest saying is "if you want something you have never had, you need to do something you've never done". I tell myself this quite often. Whenever im trying to talk myself out of something. Im new to nails and I have to set up my beauty room and keep putting it off. As for your bf and his mates, if you can't beat em, join em. I always invite myself out with OH and his friends. Me and his mates always have a good old chin wag after a few drinks. They love girly advice.

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[facelashbrow]

I agree, why always wait for an invite?! be the organiser or tag along! the people who have the most fun are the ones who make it happen rather than waiting for life to happen to them, so good for you. I read lots of posts about how rubbish people's frienda are, I am lucky to meet lovely people and have great friends and I dont have any of the rubbish timea with them that I read here because I think we all put into it and get out of it too xx

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[ch-ela]

I have reinvented myself a few times. Four years ago, I decided to relocate here to Britain and it has been full of new learning experiences. I brought my qualifications with me of course, but to gain insurance, I re did a few of them. Found a job, didn't like it (but stuck with it for 18 months to settle in) and then decided to open my own business. And because that wasn't stressful enough, I enrolled at college to do a full time beauty Level 2 course. Now I have booked in to do a wax course with Kim. I have recently read here about Reiki and would love to learn this or some form of counselling. I would like to have a say in the local politics, teach people how to cook, and have a self sufficient garden. Haha! I feel that time is running out for all the things I want to do.

I speak 3 languages fluently, and its wonderful to learn the culture behind them as well as the spoken word. It's very difficult to learn by just going to an evening class, you really need to immerse yourself to be able to speak well and confidently. Do you like to travel? That would be a start, to go to the country and get stuck in speaking to the locals. Beware though, most Europeans speak good English and would rather practice their skills on the tourists.

 

[Penners]

I think the advice about getting out and organizing events or at least being in the thick of it is a good one. I've always been shy and often hung around the edges of the fun but I've learnt (in my many years. Ahem) that is it better to push yourself forward and make a fool of yourself once in a while.
I was telling my daughter recently (on her sponsored walk) to keep in the middle of the group or the front as lagging behind watching everyone else's back just demoralizes you and makes you feel left out. So that's my pearl of wisdom:irked: force yourself into the thick of all the action !! :lol:

 

[MissLou]

Thank you for the advice and guidance geeks always always helpful as always.

I just had to get this one off my chest, since posting this thread I've gone a bit quiet on the radar with my 'friends' I thought I need to sort myself out hence this thread and to be totally honest I've felt a bit like a broken record trying to meet up with ppl and organize stuf and forever being the one to message them and ask how they are.

Since then I felt a tug of guilt so I text one friend to ask how she was and my god did I get details on how this person was, after giving a tone of advice and sympathy back not once did this person ask how I was.

Another texts me out the blue I thought aw that's nice some one has thought of me, only to read that this person has got a new job how wonderful her life is...again I was genuinely happy for her but again after all the congrats not once did I get how are you??

Another got I'm contact because her bloke wanted a hair cut, more demanding rather than asking and you guessed it! No how am I.

Fine; it's fine I have let it go over my head then I read a message from a friend of mine; I sent her a message ages ago about a potential holiday, only a 2 nighter I hadn't heard back so assumed it was off then today I get long ass message telling me all about how busy she's been, how she am her new bf are doing all these things together, how she's been away, been going out loads at night, she did ask at the very start how am I but to be honest after I read all that I thought u don't care how I ! Couldn't be more obvious. She said yeah about this holiday I can't afford it so will have to give it a miss.,,,the holiday was going to be next week so each I did think this would be the case then she said we were out near you the other night, I was Gona ask if u wanted to come out but I knew you busy.,,,,um even if u think that ask me!!!! It's nice to have the option!!!!!!! And it ended on a high for her and me it was no holiday no invite to a night out an how well she's doing. Well I am pleased she's having such a ball but I'm not exactly happy that I have been dropped like a tone of crap. What the hell?!?!?

I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed and feel deflated. To hell with them all, I can't be bothered to reply to her I may something sarcastic which is no good. I may reply in a few weeks time and comment on her life but what's the point in saying how I'm doing when no one is clearly interested?? Rubbish.

Anyway back to me and my life and what I'm going to fill with it.

I had to get that rant out geeks sorry for the ranty thread!! Xxxx