Right person wrong time

[Molly B]

Hi geeks

I'm having a hard time. I was with my boyfriend for 5 years. We met when he was 20 and I was 25. He's a lovely person and I love him deeply. We were best friends and had a great chemistry.

We have broken up because I now at age 30 would like to rent a place together and start to think of the future. All my friends are starting to marry and have babies and I would like to start thinking about that too.

My boyfriend did not want those things. He won't rent will only buy but has no savings so and is self employed in a new business so that is going to be a long time away.

I've given 5 years to him I don't think it's unreasonable for me to want to start thinking about the future and at least rent together.

I'm afraid of giving 5 more and for it still to have come to nothing.

I love him, I want him but I've called it off because of this. He understands why.
I thought I might meet someone who wants the same things.
But maybe I've made a mistake and won't meet anyone like him.

I would really love to hear your thoughts and advice caring geeks.xxx

 

[Halo88]

Think of yourself, there will be someone else. Dont risk your future for something that may not happen, you wont want any regrets. Good luck x x


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[lushlonglocks]

Aww hun big hugs...
Me and my boyfriend split up for similar reasons three years ago. I cried endlessly for weeks and was so down... Its an awful feeling splitting up just because you want different things, its so much easier to get over somebody you have got rid of cos they were a d**k etc.
Anyway, after 8 months my boyfriend came back with a massive change of heart. We are now engaged, own our own house and have a baby on the way .
The quote springs to mind:
"If you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours, if it doesnt, it was never meant to be."

 

[Molly B]

Thanks geeks.xxx

I'm so glad it worked out for you lushinglocks. A massive congrats to you xxx
Unfortunately I really don't think that will happen for me.xxx

 

[funtimefranko]

Thanks geeks.xxx

I'm so glad it worked out for you lushinglocks. A massive congrats to you xxx
Unfortunately I really don't think that will happen for me.xxx

My sister split up with her fella for the same reason... he came back, tail between his legs, wanting children. They now have 2 together x

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[Molly B]

I just wish he even wanted to live together and be able to talk about the future. But he won't even do that.

Thanks for the replies xxx

 

[Pollypocket85]

Get the flat by yourself and start to live life. If he comes back great, if he doesn't you've got your own place and doing you're own thing!

I've been in a similar situation. He never came back and 3 years later I'm quite happy. I haven't met anyone else but I have my own place, career and independence. x

 

[AcidPerm]

When you've just split up with someone because you want different things in life but are otherwise very well suited, it's really difficult trying to imagine anyone filling their shoes.

That's because no one else can!

Everyone is unique and although your recent partner was 'a good fit', there's no reason why someone else won't be a good fit but in different ways. I split up with an ex at 35 and met my now husband a couple of years later and had our son at 43.

I was 100% convinced at 35 that there wasn't enough time to meet anyone decent, get to know them properly and have a family, but who'd have guessed?

Just follow your heart and your dreams.

 

[sallysally]

I just wish he even wanted to live together and be able to talk about the future. But he won't even do that.

Thanks for the replies xxx

Hun,I completely agree with your quote,right person wrong time.....the exact same happened to me,I let them go and I am now married to a wonderful man but I still think about my past love a lot and wonder "what if things had been differant" but then my intuition always kicks in and I know I done the right thing. I really believe if you end a relationship and the man is not prepared to fight for you his heart isn't in it and as painful as it may be you need to move on.....it's your life and you don't want to look gave in ten years with no commitment and it's too late to start a family.move on and trust the right man for you now will appear xxxxx

 

[Molly B]

Thank you so much all for your support it's really helping me at this difficult time.

I love my geek family xxx

 

[Pollypocket85]

I think you know what the right thing to do is, it's just actually doing it.

Be strong! It's hard to start with but in the long run you'll be much happier

 

[6erardmer]

I feel your pain, I've been married 13 years I have been with my husband 171/2 years and now wondering if I want something different than him, heartache is the most horrendous pain in the world.

 

[ineedtea]

Sorry to hear of the heartache and happy to hear of the happy endings. I know it sucks to be questioning it all but I always find making a plan of action helps me get things clear in my head.

 

[ineedtea]

I feel your pain, I've been married 13 years I have been with my husband 171/2 years and now wondering if I want something different than him, heartache is the most horrendous pain in the world.

Sorry to hear you are going through a hard time. If you need a stranger to rant to or bounce ideas off feel free to message me. xxx

 

[Molly B]

Sorry to hear of the heartache and happy to hear of the happy endings. I know it sucks to be questioning it all but I always find making a plan of action helps me get things clear in my head.

Thank you ineedtea. Hoping this heartache will be better in time.

Really like your username by the way ineedtea lol me too especially in the morning xxx

 

[Molly B]

Just giving a little update on what happened

Shortly after this thread my ex was spotted on tinder and out and about having a whale of a time with friends. He defriended me on Facebook and erased me from his life.
He didn't seem to be down like I was.

But then within a very short space of time I met someone who is extremely kind to me who is actually a much better match and who I trust would not leave me. To say I'm happy is not the word.

Ex decided to re appear. He said he wanted those things now but it was too late and I knew he was just saying it there was no proof.

Thanks all for sharing your stories. I feel like I have a happy ending. Xxx

 

[funtimefranko]

Told you x

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[FlawlessBeauty]

Good for you Molly. Funny how they come back once they can't have you any more.

It's so lovely to hear that you're happy xx

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