Sad situation with client

[daydreams01]

One of our regulars today phoned to reschedule her appt & told us she has breast cancer and will def. lose all her hair during treatment. She has the most beautiful long thick hair & wants her stylist to cut it into a long bob first, then a pixie crop as it starts to come out.
She is such a lovely lady and I think it will be really emotional doing it. Her stylist lost her mum to cancer when she was young so she was already in tears and I don't know how she will manage to do it with out breaking down which obviously won't be helpful for the client.
Just wondered if any one has any advice for handling such a sensitive situation as never had to do anything like this before.

I was thinking of letting her know she could donate her hair to the little princess foundation as it might make her feel she is doing something positive and telling her to go on a hair adventure and try out as many styles as she can as she has probably only ever had long hair and would have been unlikely to cut it if it weren't for this. I don't really want to charge her for cutting it all off, I thought I could suggest she donates the bill to a cancer charity of her choice.

If anyone has been through anything similar Inwould love to know the best way to deal with it.

 

[manda_kinz]

I watched my nan lost her beautiful bum length hair to cancer & it was devastating, I have no advice but think that the suggest to donate her hair is a lovely idea & the idea of donating the cost.

Good luck, and best wishes to your client.

 

[Josie34]

I think what you say sounds good. Too many people shy away from discussing cancer, perhaps afraid of offending.

 

[Tomtomrow]

Hard to know. If she is a regular and you know her and you feel it's ok to discuss do. Hard situation for you. Let us know how it goes.

 

[Grace_Hair]

My mum was told she definitely would lose all hair, eyebrows, the lot.

So I shaved my head to a grade 2 for charity in support of her.

She was always a 'it's just hair' kinda person. But she was devastated about losing it.

In the end she didn't. She went thin. But not completely bald.

I wouldn't charge either. If she insisted I would put that into a cancer charity.

I have no help for your stylist in afraid.

I lost my mum 12 months ago. And I know it's hard. But she needs to learn to leave things like that at the door.

 

[daydreams01]

My mum was told she definitely would lose all hair, eyebrows, the lot.

So I shaved my head to a grade 2 for charity in support of her.

She was always a 'it's just hair' kinda person. But she was devastated about losing it.

In the end she didn't. She went thin. But not completely bald.

I wouldn't charge either. If she insisted I would put that into a cancer charity.

I have no help for your stylist in afraid.

I lost my mum 12 months ago. And I know it's hard. But she needs to learn to leave things like that at the door.

Sorry to hear about your mum, That was a lovely thing for you to do xxx

 

[AcidPerm]

I think your ideas so far are excellent and it's lovely that you're thinking about how best to help your client.

Don't forget that not everyone having treatment for cancer:
a) loses all their hair or
b) dies.

I know people who have undergone Chemo who were told it was likely they would lose their hair but in their case, it became thinner from hair loss but they didn't lose it all.
I think that your idea of a long Bob to start with is a good one as she might not need to take it as short as a pixie crop if the hair loss isn't too excessive. It really depends on how the client feels and that might change during the course of treatment.

The donation idea is ok but she might not feel that donating her hair is a positive step. Everyone is different. So probably best not to make any assumptions and be wary of talking about matters from your own perspective but follow your clients lead.

If your stylist is likely to become very emotional, that's not really going to help the client. It's almost like she's saying 'my mum died so you will too and that's why I'm crying'. Have a chat with her beforehand about focussing on the client and not her own feelings but if necessary, I'd swap stylists.

I'm sure you will do a great job looking after your client.

 

[Beansy]

Why don't you contact HeadStrong? They are a charity staffed by volunteers to work with people who have lost/are losing their hair from cancer. I'm sure they could give you some advice.

I know that they usually expect hair loss to begin on day 17 after Chemo but it happened to my friend much quicker. She had actually shaved hers by day 10 as she found the shedding very upsetting. I have to say, she looked incredible too. It really suited her!

Just over a year later and a double mastectomy shes doing really well and is back in work part time.

 

[Beansy]

Contact details-
https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk...support-you/coping-hair-loss/coping-hair-loss

 

[daydreams01]

Thanks for all the advice, really helpful x

 

[sarahpoppy24]

Went through this with my beautiful client who recently passed. Hers was terminal but she had the most upbeat personality that was still there ever time I saw her when she was poorly. I would say let the client guide you. If she's upbeat about it then treat it like a normal re style! She may be trying to stay positive and may actually like her new hair do. There is always the change she's trying to stay as normal as possible. Just greet her with the usual hello how are you. She's still the same lady. Oh and I didn't charge my lady ether when I cut it short xxx

 

[squidgernetball]

Just a couple of thoughts.

One of our lovely clients has just give through treatment. She lost her hair and now has a very funky pixie crop after wearing scarves waiting for it to grow. She looks and feels great. Definitely make it client led.

I often think that when we think about treating someone with cancer we feel like we're going to be a sniffling wreck but our professional persona kicks in and we just try and make the experiences as good as we can.

My daughter and I volunteered for the charity look good feel better. My daughters best friend had lost her mum a few weeks before and Liv wasn't sure how she'd cope. We were meant to be there as observers but no volunteers turned up so we pitched in. I just said to Liv if you feel emotional just pretend you're going to the loo. After introductions the ladies were offered the opportunity to take scarves and wigs off which they all did. I thought that if Liv was going to wobble it would be then. I looked over and she was helping a lady measure her eyebrows. A total pro. Their needs come to the fore and ours are less important as we try and make someone feel good.

Over the years I have lost many clients to ill health, alcoholism but mostly to cancer. I have learnt coping strategies that I think most of us have in us.

Good luck with it all x

 

[daydreams01]

Hi all , thanks for all the advice, just an update, our client has been in and actually it was fine and not as hard as We expected. Her treatment isn't starting until end of month so she wanted her regrowth colour done as normal and then cut to an alexia Chung style wavy Bob. During her colour, she spoke about her diagnosis and everything so by the time it got to the cut, the conversation had gone onto other things which I Think helped take her mind off it. She did decide to have a lot braided and cut first so she can donate to the little princess foundation. The cut wasn't that drastic as just above shoulders so although short for her and what she is used to it wouldn't be obvious to anyone that that is why she had it cut. My stylist was fine and I think more focused on giving her a nice haircut so left me to do a lot of the chit chat, while she got on with the hair. The client has said once she starts to lose it, she will prob come and get it all clippered off, She has a really positive approach to it all and is being strong so although you could tell she was upset, it didn't get emotional or teary and Hopefully she will feel comfortable to come in when she does decide to go even shorter. She normally always books in advance for her colour etc but we just left it that she can call us when she needs to as she prob won't be needing it coloured now for some time. I hope it all goes well for her as she is a lovely lady with 3 kids. Life is so unfair at times, it does make you realise you have to enjoy living in the moment and not stress about the little things!

 

[manda_kinz]

In so glad it went well for you all, I wish your client well x

 

[AcidPerm]

Thanks @daydreams01 for the update. It sounds like your stylist did a great job.

Kudos to both of you!

As @Squidernetball says, just let your professional persona kick in and you can tackle anything. (You must have been so proud of your daughter that day!)

I think threads like these are really good for other Geeks to read, to help them gain some knowledge and useful tips about how to approach a potentially scary and uncomfortable situation with confidence.

It's so important to be able to provide your clients with a great professional service just when it's needed the most.

 

[babychops]

I have a regular client that I have been doing for a few years, I started doing her hair in the salon just after she had completed her treatment and beat cancer. Her hair was just growing back and after many many haircuts it had come back lovely and thick. I went to do her hair yesterday and she told me her cancer has come back and she is loosing all her hair again. We trimmed it up for her and made it tidy. I felt so sad :-( x