Hi everyone! I live on a military estate and a lot of my clients all know each other and its a close knit community, recently the clients that are coming to my house are seeing my neighbour (whom I am really good friends with) and telling me stories about her son and how he bullies kids etc etc. I listen to them getting these stories off their chest and nod in the right places without passing judgement or comment but I feel a little uncomfortable with it. Should I tell my neighbour or leave it? I don't want to cause arguements or break client confidentiality but its really upsetting me. X
Should I tell my friend?
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pinkfairy
Well-Known Member
Hiya, what an awkward position to put you in, do these clients know she's your friend?
You can't break your clients trust, think what it would do to your reputation in such a small community. Plus, imagine the arguments it could cause between your friend and your clients, with you in the middle.
If it crops up again just change the subject, the client should get the hint that you're not interested in talking about it. x
You can't break your clients trust, think what it would do to your reputation in such a small community. Plus, imagine the arguments it could cause between your friend and your clients, with you in the middle.
If it crops up again just change the subject, the client should get the hint that you're not interested in talking about it. x
Eyelash Addict
Well-Known Member
I think what I would personally do is listen with an open mind as if it isn't your friend. Knowledge is power, and if an opportunity arises to talk to your friend about something specific that you observe, then do it objectively. You have knowledge from clients that fill in the blanks for you, but that doesn't mean that you ever have to let on that you know anything from anywhere else.
Your clients are coming to you and dumping information because as a beauty professional part of what you do is listen. When I have a particularly intense conversation with a client, and they dump stuff that is going on that I don't know what to do with, I tend to choose to empower them to take action in their own lives by asking questions like, "what are you planning to do about that?".
This puts the client into the thinking process of figuring out what to do to move forward.
The bottom line is, your friend may have a son who is a bully. You will have opportunities to address that as her friend without ever having to allow what you have heard to influence your choices of when to get involved and when not to. It's just clients dumping THEIR stuff. You don't have to take it on and make it YOUR stuff.
Your clients are coming to you and dumping information because as a beauty professional part of what you do is listen. When I have a particularly intense conversation with a client, and they dump stuff that is going on that I don't know what to do with, I tend to choose to empower them to take action in their own lives by asking questions like, "what are you planning to do about that?".
This puts the client into the thinking process of figuring out what to do to move forward.
The bottom line is, your friend may have a son who is a bully. You will have opportunities to address that as her friend without ever having to allow what you have heard to influence your choices of when to get involved and when not to. It's just clients dumping THEIR stuff. You don't have to take it on and make it YOUR stuff.
Thank you. I'm happy to sit and listen as I understand they will talk about stuff to me. I knew in my heart what to do but I just needed to hear it from the lovely geeks! I need to learn to let it go over my head more and not take it in so much! Xx
lbrown332
Well-Known Member
I live in a military community too and the amount of gossip and hear say I hear is HUGE!
I think its just part of military community life to be honest.
If it doesn't affect you or your children with the boy bullying other children then either don't mention it or mention it in passing like I'm just telling you what I've heard but some peoples children have said your boy is being not very nice to some children and just leave it like that.
She may not even know anything about it so sometimes some things are best out in the open especially in a community like this as it gets back to the person in the end!!
HTH
Leanne
X
I think its just part of military community life to be honest.
If it doesn't affect you or your children with the boy bullying other children then either don't mention it or mention it in passing like I'm just telling you what I've heard but some peoples children have said your boy is being not very nice to some children and just leave it like that.
She may not even know anything about it so sometimes some things are best out in the open especially in a community like this as it gets back to the person in the end!!
HTH
Leanne
X
Crystal colleen
Well-Known Member
Every Hurd the phrase shoot the messenger.
This is what happens my love.
Leave it well alone don't entertain it as in don't speak about it with your clients because if they should talk to anyone about it it should be the boys mother and if it was that bad they would have already done so.
This is what happens my love.
Leave it well alone don't entertain it as in don't speak about it with your clients because if they should talk to anyone about it it should be the boys mother and if it was that bad they would have already done so.
souz
Well-Known Member
what is said between you and a client should stay that way....business and friendship are separate x
lbrown332
Well-Known Member
That's all well and good but if your clients told you, shes probably told 10 other people so it'll get round so quickly and back to the person in a matter of days even when you don't tell anyone yourself. When it does your friend will be round to you like a shot asking if you'd heard about it and what she should do about it so in a way, it's a loose loose situation!!
Leanne
X
Hi Leanne
I know what you mean about the gossip, I don't think she has a clue what ppl are saying about her son. He's not physically hurting anyone so there's no desperate need for me to say something. Our children are different ages by 10years, so its not going to affect us that way. Maybe it should stay between the parents affected by it.
Which force is your hubby in? My hubby is in his 14th year in the army! X
lbrown332
Well-Known Member
Tbh, even if he's not hurting them, children can get mentally scared for life, I was mentally bullied all through school and scared from it, a girl pretty much cut my ponytail off too (I could sit on my hair then so it was a lot of hair!), now I really don't like hairdressers (no offence to any hairdressers, it's just what I've been through!)
Mines in his 9th year in the RAF, he hates it at the mo cause hes always working down in the bunker (good old IT techy!) but hopefully he'll be picked up next week and promoted to corporal so a bit more dosh coming our way but that means a posting somewhere :-(. Where abouts are you guys based?
Leanne
X
I didn't think of it like that! Oh gosh, I really wish they hadn't told me and told my friend face to face!
My hubby is in his 14th year in the army, we live on an air corp estate but he's in the artillery. Good luck for his promotion! More cash is always a bonus! X
My hubby is in his 14th year in the army, we live on an air corp estate but he's in the artillery. Good luck for his promotion! More cash is always a bonus! X
lbrown332
Well-Known Member
I wouldn't worry about it hun, that's just what I went through!! I'm sure your friend will find out soon enough from someone anyway!
Well it's his first chance to get picked up so hopefully he's been a good boy and santa gives us more money for xmas!! Haha!
Leanne
X
