Social anxiety

[charleneweeooo]

Not quite sure where to start here as the whole thing is a bit embarrassing for me but I don't know who else to speak to that isn't my fiance. I'm starting to feel as though I may have social anxiety and wanted to hear from others who may have it too. Ever since having my little girl a year ago I have completely changed and seem to struggle in certain situations. Sometimes it happens in busy places like shopping centres and i panic and flush and feel myself darting my eyes about looking at everyone but mostly it seems to affect me in an unusual way though because the times when I am at my worst is when I am with my two best friends and my awkwardness is just ruining the relationship I have with them. Its not until.I leave them that I realise I've came off as a really crap friend as I can hardly say two words to them and act completely uninterested the whole time. But it is so strange as l when I am in the salon full of clients I can chat the ears off them! It makes me feel as if I am being a pathetic moan as I can hardly say I'm 'anxious' in social situations if I can chat away to strangers fine. I suppose I was just wondering if anyone else felt the same ever and how they cope. My poor friends must think I hate them when in fact I love them to bits and just wish I could find my voice with them
Apologies for my long rant that may come off as pathetic but I wasn't sure how else to put this

 

[Noodle]

There was a thread posted not so long ago actually, so I'm linking it for you in case it's of interest:

http://www.salongeek.com/chit-chat/276335-depression-anxiety.html?highlight=Social+anxiety

 

[charleneweeooo]

Thankyou I'll have a wee look

 

[Cottoncandy]

Thankyou I'll have a wee look

Your not alone. I am the same. Speak to your gp. I was put on a very mild beta blocker called propranolol 80mg slow release. It's a god send and has no long term effects. Plus they gave me 2mg diazapham which I carry with me and have not needed them at all.

Anxiety is awful and the worst is palpitations. Your not alone

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[charleneweeooo]

Your not alone. I am the same. Speak to your gp. I was put on a very mild beta blocker called propranolol 80mg slow release. It's a god send and has no long term effects. Plus they gave me 2mg diazapham which I carry with me and have not needed them at all.

Anxiety is awful and the worst is palpitations. Your not alone

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Thankyou, it's nice to know there are others who feel the same. I'm just being put off going to see my doctor because i feel my problem isn't that bad and would be a waste of time 😟

 

[Cottoncandy]

Thankyou, it's nice to know there are others who feel the same. I'm just being put off going to see my doctor because i feel my problem isn't that bad and would be a waste of time 😟

Your important. That's why you pay tax and NI.

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[charleneweeooo]

Your important. That's why you pay tax and NI.

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I don't even earn enough to pay tax and NI so I can't be that important lol!

 

[surf girl]

Charlene why do you feel it's worst with your friends but not with general public in the salon? You are important enough to see a doctor you'll be surprised how helpful they can be

 

[charleneweeooo]

Charlene why do you feel it's worst with your friends but not with general public in the salon? You are important enough to see a doctor you'll be surprised how helpful they can be

I have absolutely no idea why it's worse with them 😟 one has been a friend for 7 years and the other we've been best friends since we were 4 so it really bothers me and it must bother them too. When I'm sitting with them I'm almost bursting trying to have a conversation but just nothing comes out, it's horrible! I went to my docs early last year because my partner urged me to because he thought I may have postnatal depression and she referred me to councilling which didn't help at all! Maybe because the woman was only a trainee. But I suppose I maybe should just go back and see what happens, thankyou

 

[squidgernetball]

Have you told your friends how you feel? I think this is really important. I think it will help heal the breach if you know that they know and maybe understand a little.
We're all so different as people so accept these are issues you're having and seek help. Don't belittle your problems. You're important.

Out of interest, do your friends have children?

It sounds like it may be similar to pnd. There is a lot of support around. Sometimes you just need help to find it.

Good luck x

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[surf girl]

I have absolutely no idea why it's worse with them 😟 one has been a friend for 7 years and the other we've been best friends since we were 4 so it really bothers me and it must bother them too. When I'm sitting with them I'm almost bursting trying to have a conversation but just nothing comes out, it's horrible! I went to my docs early last year because my partner urged me to because he thought I may have postnatal depression and she referred me to councilling which didn't help at all! Maybe because the woman was only a trainee. But I suppose I maybe should just go back and see what happens, thankyou

I agree with squidgernetball you should definatley talk to them about it, it'll stop you worrying about what their thinking of you, counciling is good but you have to find the right person for you, it can take a lot of goes to find the right councillor, their fully aware if this too (my colleague is training right now) so don't let it put you off trying again pnd that isn't treated at the time does play havoc In the long term, I would guess that your anxiety is a progression of the pnd, go back to your doc and explain, they can help and you'll feel much better x

 

[Northerner1972]

I can speak from experience here as for many years I have suffered with anxiety, depression and panic so fully understand what you are going through.

However, it can be overcome if not completely then certainly better than it was. I have always been quiet and shy so this didn't help me as I got older plus starting with depression - sometimes extremely bad - just made everything worse.

Over the years I have seen many doctors and tried many medications. Some helped and some didn't but I can vouch for Propranolol to help with the trembling associated with anxiety and panic although I was on a really high dose.

I can recommend cbt therapy as it really delves into how you perceive possible obstacles which contribute to making you feel anxious. Ive had a good amount of therapy sessions with 2 different therapists over a few years and bit by bit I have improved. It takes a lot of work on your part but with the right therapist (both mine were really great!) it can help.

I still struggle if Im in a situation with a lot of people involved but Im loads better now in situations that used to make me anxious.

Possibly your best option is to see a different doctor from the one you saw before. I also found online anxiety/panic/depression forums good to talk to people in the same situation. The No Panic website is really useful with a helpline and they offer telephone counselling which Ive also had and found good.

Good luck and hope things improve for you.

 

[charleneweeooo]

Thanks so much everyone, so nice to get advice and kind words from complete strangers.
Squidgernetball I haven't really spoken to my friends, trying to find a way to bring it up tbh. One of my friends has a child too and it is the one that doesn't that had a falling out with me a few months ago due to me not seeming interested in our friendship. Tried to explain I've not been feeling myself since having my baby but she just kind of dismissed it and we soon made up. I finally managed to bring it up again with my partner. As much as he knows I've changed and thought I may have mild depression, he never knew just how bad I've felt. Yes i'm starting to think myself it could be pnd and I've just been brushing it off as having a **** day etc.

Kahuna if i had the money I'd happily try several councillors *cue my usual money rant* lol. The councillor I was referred to was volunteering for a local organisation which didn't cost me anything. I'm definitely going to return to my doctor though and this time I hopefully won't get sent out the door with a phone number and without any kind of diagnosis/explanation.

Northerner it's encouraging to hear it can get better hopefully I'll be able to return to cbt to another therapist as I have heard a lot.of good things about it. And I'll definitely have a look at that website thankyou

Thanks everyone xxx

 

[surf girl]

You should be entitled to free counciling on the nhs, everyone is, unless your friends have been through a similar thing they won't be able to guess you feel off at the moment, it's nice to hear your partner noticed tho, I hope he's supportive of you

 

[charleneweeooo]

Yeah I thought that, I just still think my case isn't too bad and I wouldn't be :/ yes my partner's very supportive and it was him that encouraged me to go to the docs the first time round. He's a star

 

[surf girl]

Hun if it's so bad you feel social anxiety it's bad enough to get help :/ I think your very dismissive of your own needs almost like your not good enough? You are tho so go get that help x

 

[May77]

There was a thread posted not so long ago actually, so I'm linking it for you in case it's of interest:

http://www.salongeek.com/chit-chat/276335-depression-anxiety.html?highlight=Social+anxiety

I put this post under the above topic. It may be useful to those suffering.

Check out EFT Emotional Freedom Technique / Tapping. Lots of good stuff on YouTube: The Tapping Solution, Nick Ortner, Brad Yates, Gary Craig, Jessica Ortner. Every illness has a emotional element, from their childhood. The condition/illness in the body is a manifestation of something emotional; anger, resentfulness, deprivation etc. The core reason has to be addressed, otherwise the condition continues. Medication treats the symptoms not the cause. Stress has to be managed otherwise x, y, z disease manifest. p.s to be clear someone wouldn't stop current medication, this can be used alongside.

Further explanation can be obtained from YouTube.

 

[sallysally]

Charlene,I do really understand how you feel.I struggled terrible with social anxiety for years in my early twenties and I also had really bad issues with my close friends who I had also been to school with from 4.i would get overwhelming self awareness and become conscious of my behaviour that I would clam up.I would then suffer intense paranoia for a few hours after meeting that they were talking about me and my behaviour.I started making excuses in the end not to join in meeting up.Its only now we are all older that we discuss it and I can share with them that at the time I was going through hell.

I think mine was a bit of depression in my teens I think due to hormonal changes etc that was never really addressed and resulted in anxiety and my self esteem took a battering!! I am fine now though and couldn't care less.

I think you may have PND maybe due to hormonal change that has now impacted on your self esteem ( you seem not think you are very worthy)and given you anxiety.

Unfortunately it won't go away on its own.it will get worst.

Why don't you consider a mild anti depressant just for a short time till you feel back to your old self?

Don't worry yourself or panic it's not serious and help is out there and I am sure you will come through it! Xxxx

 

[Northerner1972]

Thanks so much everyone, so nice to get advice and kind words from complete strangers.
Squidgernetball I haven't really spoken to my friends, trying to find a way to bring it up tbh. One of my friends has a child too and it is the one that doesn't that had a falling out with me a few months ago due to me not seeming interested in our friendship. Tried to explain I've not been feeling myself since having my baby but she just kind of dismissed it and we soon made up. I finally managed to bring it up again with my partner. As much as he knows I've changed and thought I may have mild depression, he never knew just how bad I've felt. Yes i'm starting to think myself it could be pnd and I've just been brushing it off as having a **** day etc.

Kahuna if i had the money I'd happily try several councillors *cue my usual money rant* lol. The councillor I was referred to was volunteering for a local organisation which didn't cost me anything. I'm definitely going to return to my doctor though and this time I hopefully won't get sent out the door with a phone number and without any kind of diagnosis/explanation.

Northerner it's encouraging to hear it can get better hopefully I'll be able to return to cbt to another therapist as I have heard a lot.of good things about it. And I'll definitely have a look at that website thankyou

Thanks everyone xxx

Glad to be of help. Its not often I get chance to share my experience of anxiety and related conditions.

The 2 therapists I had for CBT were both NHS and good although the second one seemed more on my wavelength.

At least with all the other helpful replies on here you know there are others out there who know what you are going through.

 

[Kerryanne]

Not quite sure where to start here as the whole thing is a bit embarrassing for me but I don't know who else to speak to that isn't my fiance. I'm starting to feel as though I may have social anxiety and wanted to hear from others who may have it too. Ever since having my little girl a year ago I have completely changed and seem to struggle in certain situations. Sometimes it happens in busy places like shopping centres and i panic and flush and feel myself darting my eyes about looking at everyone but mostly it seems to affect me in an unusual way though because the times when I am at my worst is when I am with my two best friends and my awkwardness is just ruining the relationship I have with them. Its not until.I leave them that I realise I've came off as a really crap friend as I can hardly say two words to them and act completely uninterested the whole time. But it is so strange as l when I am in the salon full of clients I can chat the ears off them! It makes me feel as if I am being a pathetic moan as I can hardly say I'm 'anxious' in social situations if I can chat away to strangers fine. I suppose I was just wondering if anyone else felt the same ever and how they cope. My poor friends must think I hate them when in fact I love them to bits and just wish I could find my voice with them
Apologies for my long rant that may come off as pathetic but I wasn't sure how else to put this

Hiya hun

I hope you are well?

I have been through a similar thing and it really effected my life and effected my friends and family too.

The best thing I think to do is express how your feeling to your friends, they will understand and if they don't then they are not very good friends.

Have you seen your doctor?

Your probably okay in your salon because that is your safe place like in your home and when your in some other places you don't feel safe for what ever reason and I know this can happen to some women's after they have a child.

Sometimes I find counting 10 slow breaths can help as when we get anxious our breathing changes so our brain processes things differently.

I hope this helps xxx